Do you feel responsible for everyone's happiness?

[Lentilweaver]

For various reasons, everybody in my family is miserable/ burnt out/ anxious right now. They are all adults. And much as I know this is illogical, I feel like I have to fix them.

Anybody else stuck in the fixer role?

I was exactly like this until they started sucking me fry & taking advantage of my good nature. Sometimes it's good to help people like this, other times not so much.

Yes, OP!

No advice I'm afraid but you're not alone. It's exhausting, isn't it?!

I do but I understand now it's due to my upbringing; I was responsible for my DM's happiness from a very young age. It's a pattern that lasts although I try to see it at the time and stop it.

Have a think and see if this in one of your core experiences

Absolutely yes, I’m now sad and burnt out myself but no one is coming to fix me.

it’s a terrible way to be.

Let me clarify that I do a lot of stuff for myself too. In the last ten days I went to my book club, an exhibition, several long walks, coffee with a friend... But am always thinking about them.One of the reasons is that DD had a v hard time in the pandemic. She is now better but I still feel dread because she is not 100%.

Yes, and my therapist has highlighted to me how unhealthy it is!

I have four teens and a stressed out work obsessed DH, so I am constantly “fixing” and putting other people ahead of myself. It’s one drama after another. However I can’t sit back and watch people I love being unhappy if there are things I can do to help.

it’s exhausting!

I think we all need wives.

Tell me if I should be mildly annoyed at this. DH has a minor sprain. Trying to get a GP to look at it but can't get one now, of course. So I am running around getting him painkillers and a hot water bottle, while he moans and grumbles about how shit his life is ( to be fair he has a stressful job)

Meanwhile I have fibroids and hideously painful periods for a whole week every month but does anyone care? No!