To want to shout from rooftops…

[JamDoorNut]

That I took a huge step ( for me) in my journey to manage ( being realistic!!) my anxiety and claustrophobia..
I’ve been struggling for years..my first panic attack was inside a train and I struggled ever since getting into one- especially if the route has a tunnel. Countless times I have jumped out of trains in a sweat- and thanks to covid didn’t get into a train at all for 3 years.
this Saturday wanted to try it again- same routine, on the train to St Pancras jumped out before the Elstree tunnel. I know this route and my heart rate increases as soon as I know the tunnel approaching.
Caught the train back defeated but on a whim thought I’ll stay in the train until the last station (Bedford) - was taking in all the noises, sensations etc and there was a tunnel- I didn’t know this was approaching as not gone that far. Through the tunnel I practiced boxed breathing and kept focus on that. Got off Bedford and caught the train back home- this time since I knew the tunnel was approaching my heart rate for increase but kept repeating ‘I’m safe I’m safe’ and got back to my station…This is HUGE for me and hopefully to anyone reading this suffering in a similar way..
Keep trying- even the smallest step really does help. I don’t have any one to share this in real life- husband not really into small steps, and daughter too young. But I’m over the moon!!!
im going to try the London route again in Saturday- I know there are two tunnels and one in a mile long- but I’ll try my best to stay in the train..

Well done!! That is a huge achievement. :-D

That's great, OP! You should feel justifiably proud of yourself. Good luck for your next trip.

Well done..I had panic attack on the underground back in October....lucky I don't live in London!

You're amazing!

Well done! I had terrible panic disorder attached to the underground. It has completely gone so it can be done.

go you

Faaaaaantastic! Well done you! Keep going!

Well done! I’m so pleased for you that you’ve had this huge breakthrough! Wishing you many more success stories over the coming weeks & months too!

Well done, that is a huge achievement..xx

That's bloody amazing. I've been there. Awful awful feeling. I used to feel like I had a rock in my chest and would faint or die.

Keep going you've got this 🙂⭐

Virtual high five!

Well done, OP! You should be very proud of yourself.

Absolutely fantastic @JamDoorNut !! Go you!!

Well done! Make sure you keep going with small steps and don't overdo it. You want to keep building up your confidence.

Well done!! Absolutely brave and brilliant of you!
I can kind of relate, I had agoraphobia when I was younger and one day just forced myself to go out for a walk to the beach. I took a photo as a momento and stuck it on my fridge to remember the feeling. Like yourself, I took a moment to take in all the colours/sounds/smells etc. I can still remember that day like it was yesterday, what a feeling being free! Keep pushing, even if you ever feel one day you can't do it again, you now know you CAN when you're ready/when the day feels right etc.

You're just words on my screen but I'm so fecking proud of you! Silent struggles deserve to be recognised! 💪

Thank you all. Every time my mind keeps questioning ’can I stay in the train when going through a tunnel’ I’m repeating ‘we’ll take each step’ to me…in the past the answer I come up with is ‘no I cannot, it’s too dangerous and I cannot get out’ …I’ll repeat it through this week in prep for the next trip

Wow, well done. Bet you feel on top of the world and so you should

Well done- that's great! Sounds like a real breakthrough and like you've got your mental regulation tools for the job next time. I hope others read your post and feel encouraged too.

What an achievement! I panic on planes and in MRI machines, but cannot conquer the fear as you have done.
Made up for you.
x

Well done! !!!!!
so pleased for you , you did it!!

Thank you all for your kind words-

@Rickiticki ive not conquered my fear…really far from it but taking small steps towards it. I’ve learned to acknowledge the small steps which I didn’t do for a long time…now I count each small step as a step towards beating this…

for anyone else struggling, even before getting into the train the week before that I actually bought a off peak ticket and went and sat in the platform watching trains..as silly as that sounds. Just sat there taking it all in..watching people get in and out…then this week managed to get in…

Thank you for the encouragement, OP.
I don’t find it at all silly to have sat on a platform watching trains. Prior to an MRI I attend an hour’s anxiety programme; outwardly I’m a very confident person but in some situations I experience crippling terror. I understand your fear and highly applaud your achievement.

That's not silly at all. Sounds very sensible.