What to do for a big birthday when you have small DCs?

[SophieLaGeroff]

I'm 40 in a couple of months. Have 3 DCs, oldest is 3 and smallest 5 months.

What can I do to celebrate my birthday? I don't want a party. I'm breastfeeding the baby so can't be away from him for long.

I'm torn between trying to have some time alone at a spa/ ask my mum to babysit so DH and I can go out for a meal. Or embracing my life and doing something special as a family.

We're in Hampshire and I don't want to travel for more than about 90 mins with the DCs.

Any bright ideas? What did others in similar situations do?

What would YOU like to do? Not what you think you should do?

If you want something different I would get a holiday let, small cottage, somewhere pretty with a local pub, shop, views, fire, hot tub? For X3 nights. Walk, read, eat, cosy, chill.

I would buy new books.

I would make sure a lovely view, big sky, in case of weather, so you are happy in or out and forget about the real world whilst you are there.

Chilled champagne would also feature. Not much but a bit.

As Twighlight said - it is about what you want to do.

Personally, I had a big party in a hall, and I really enjoyed that, but you have said you don't want a party.......

Why not do all three of those over a week/month. Get DH to stay with the kids while you spa on afternoon (possibly with a friend of your mum?). Another day get your mum to babysit while you and DH go out for dinner/lunch. And also do a family thing - outing or even a weekend somewhere. Appreciate this may not work financially but you didn’t mention a budget.
One of my friends for her 40th asked anyone who wanted to get her a present to arrange a thing to do together, spreading them out over a few months - so she got lots of quality time with each of the people she was close to (and it didn’t have to cost much - one of them took her on a scenic walk nearby for example and she loved it).

In a similar position, having a significant birthday this year and have a toddler and breast fed baby. I am planning on spreading celebrations over the year so the plan looks like:
my actual birthday - family day out (just the 4 of us) but haven’t decided where yet possibly a local zoo.
weekend after my birthday - large family meal
in the summer when I’ve stopped breastfeeding - city day & theatre with friends
September time roughly - weekend away with DP - again won’t be breastfeeding and children are older to leave overnight.

I never usually do anything for my birthday but decided to really celebrate this one!

I know you said not a party but I'll share what I did anyway!

I had a 5 week old when I turned 40 and was also BF, with a 4 year old too. It was a month after covid restrictions were lifted in 2021 and lovely weather, so we had a garden party with close friends and family.

But I think if I didn't want a party, I'd perhaps have had a couple of family nights away in a cottage with nice food and a glass or 2 of champers.

My dc were 5, 4 and 1 for my 30th and 15, 14, 11, 8 and 7 for my 40th. We did park and all you can eat Chinese for my 30th and then NT property and all you can eat Chinese for my 40th.

Can you nip out for a facial in the morning?
go home to a family lunch "party" with the children, then dinner with partner?

I’ve just celebrated my 40th with a family trip to centre parcs. While there we booked kids into the crèche and went to the spa. It was fantastic.

Oooh thank you I'm really liking these ideas! I don't know why it didn't occur to me to do more than one thing or spread them out across the year.

I love the sound of a cottage and hot tub, will see if I can find one that's not £££ as mat leave means the budget isn't huge.

An all you can eat meal is a great idea too as my kids love a buffet and it takes all the stress out of eating out with them (IE them not having to wait for food /not having yours go cold while you cut things up for them when it all arrives at once).

Centre parcs has been pricey when I've looked but I do like the sound of a crèche!

How about Lime Wood hotel? Close to you, with the most gorgeous spa and food. The kids will love the new forest wild ponies.

I have a similar dilemma soon and was thinking probably Centre Parcs.

Do what you want to do. I appreciate it's different re when you have your kids. I'm having my 50th this week. When I had my 40th my ds2 was 5. Now I'm 50, he's 14, nearly 15.

Oh that's gorgeous! Out of budget at the moment but maybe in a few years ...

I think with those ages I'd try and ask someone to have my 3 Yr old for a couple of nights and go away somewhere. Won't be quite the same as being on your own, but having a 5 month old is less limiting than having a toddler.

I had a garden party with family who also had small children, so lots of babies crawling and toddlers running around and a lovely relaxed day with cake and joy. A friend was appalled – why aren’t you clubbing?! – but it was exactly what I wanted. Was between lockdowns though so frankly doing anything with other people felt like a novelty.

I had a day time garden party because my children were 10,8 and 3 . Great fun ,bouncy castle ,lots of children and wine !
The children all sang happy birthday to me from bouncy castle.
Husband and I went to Venice for a long weekend a couple of weeks later.

I went out for a meal to a fabulous restaurant with DH and my sister babysat for us. I'm not bothered by a big party so that personally wouldn't be for me but I really like the idea of renting a cottage somewhere lovely and just chilling out together.....and drinking champagne!

Well I am approaching 60, but mine were 5 and almost 3 at my 40th.

DH and I went out to a posh restaurant close by on my actual birthday, I had an ‘open house’ daytime gathering on the Saturday afterwards for friends who were local/in travelling distance (some of whom had kids similar ages) and I also did a spa break with my 2 close uni friends and a local ‘mum’ friend.

As a pp said, do what you want.

My close uni friends & I are all doing very different celebrations for our 60ths, which are within 3 weeks, with one having a party. Each to their own.