He's very private and doesn't like to talk about anything that's bothering him, he completely shuts down and just refuses to talk and ignores me/his Dad when we think something might be wrong and ask him. He's quite a deep thinker, sensitive, and keeps things bottled up.
This weekend he has seemed pretty miserable and I've not been able to snap him out of it. He has not wanted to be in our company today at all and was, unfairly, extremely snappy/grumpy with his little brother this evening. He disappeared into the den again after I've been trying to coax him out of it all day to spend time with us.
I went in to sit with him and said he has seemed pretty miserable and asked if there is anything wrong. Last time he told me something was wrong I think I asked too many questions because he clammed up and said he wished he'd never said anything. I was mindful of this and tried really hard not to come across that I was grilling him or was getting upset by what he was telling me.
He told me there's a boy in his class, I'll call him Adam, who has been hurting him when their group of friends play football at break/lunch. He makes it look like it's an accident and does it to others. I know this boy and he's trouble. He joined my son's small group of friends a while ago and has caused ructions by singling out of a couple of them to become best friends with and shun the rest. He's known for bullying other children at school. My husband does the school runs and has heard him telling his parents to fuck off and all sorts. His family are lovely, it's just Adam, the eldest, definitely has issues.
My son told me he's told the teachers before but nothing gets done and it just makes it worse. He said no one stands up to Adam, he used to but no one backs him up so he's stopped.
My son went out to play after school for the first time a few months ago with his best friend who came to the door for him with this boy Adam. DS came home absolutely breaking his heart a bit later because they went somewhere they shouldn't have. They were caught by Adam's Mum but Adam and DS's friend scarpered and left DS so he was left to get a rollicking from Adam's Mum. It was heart-breaking as he was so upset and it was the first time he'd went out with friends. He blamed me because I encouraged him to go out as I thought he was getting old enough to go out himself.
I know this is likely the first of many friends issues he'll face but I want to get this right so he'll continue to come to me, I don't want him to continue to bottle up what's bothering him. Does anyone have any advice on the best way to navigate this? I asked DS if he wants me to speak to anyone about it, unsurprisingly he said no. The bullying websites I've looked at says don't tell them to retaliate. I was very tempted to tell DS to lamp him one when he was telling me earlier but refrained. DH will likely tell him this though! DS said everyone is scared of Adam, I said bullies thrive on fear and that's how they get away with it.
It's so true that mum's are only as happy as their unhappiest child, my heart hurts and I've not stopped thinking about this since!