How would you react if...

Stones4bones · 2023-01-21T19:33:56+00:00

...you were at the dinner table and someone accidentally knocked a glass of wine over, which splashes on your jumper?

TakeABite · 21/01/2023 19:35

Depends.
What colour wine? what colour jumper? were they messing about? We’re they drunk?

Ohdearnotagain76 · 21/01/2023 19:36

Accidents happen, I would be pissed off but wouldn't expect them to pay for jumper but a offer of a drink would be a lovely suggestion.

Greensleevevssnotnose · 21/01/2023 19:36

Mop it up and say not to worry

merryhouse · 21/01/2023 19:36

Also, are they a small child? Am I their parent? Or am I a vaguely-disliked inlaw?

Timeforachangeisitnot · 21/01/2023 19:37

Well this happened to me in an hotel, and I think I was pretty gracious. I went to my room, changed, and the hotel whisked my outfit off for cleaning, plus comp’d dinner.
if it was at a friends we would probably laugh. Nothing worth getting wound up about,

pawprintseverywhere · 21/01/2023 19:37

Accidents happen....

CoorieInByTheFire · 21/01/2023 19:37

It would be rude to make any sort of fuss.

Gwdihooooo · 21/01/2023 19:38

Greensleevevssnotnose · 21/01/2023 19:36

Mop it up and say not to worry

This

frozendaisy · 21/01/2023 19:38

Accept accidents happen
Life, fun, booze and friends can be messy occasionally
Life is too short to make someone who already probably feels terrible even worse over an accident.

If I knocked it over I would offer to pay for professional cleaning

DestinysGrandchild · 21/01/2023 19:39

Accidents happen. Not sure how someone could kick off about it..

LubaLuca · 21/01/2023 19:42

Depends entirely on the circumstances. In a restaurant or with company I wouldn't make any fuss, and I wouldn't fuss if it was an otherwise pleasant meal at home with the kids and/or my husband.

If I wasn't in a particularly good mood and I didn't need to keep up appearances I'd probably snap and say "For fuck's sake, this is hand wash only!" I get pissed off about accidents sometimes, I'm human, I can be a dick.

Original poster

Stones4bones · 21/01/2023 19:48

Thanks replies.

Context is DD4 went to reach something on the table, knocked DH's red wine over. Most of it went over his empty dinner plate but some on his dark grey 'best' jumper.

He exploded, shouted at the top of his voice 'FOR FUCKS SAKE!', went v growly and straight to laundry room.

DD4 was scared, cried when I gave her a cuddle.

DH now in a foul mood. I told him he needed to speak to DD and check she's OK as his reaction was scary. This sent him over the edge and he's accused me of lecturing him.

Had a similar incident earlier this week. DD3 was rocking on her chair, DH asked her to put her chair down and she did. The foot of the chair landed on his toe. It must have hurt. His reaction was the same as above and DD3 was very scared and upset.

OP posts:

LubaLuca · 21/01/2023 19:53

I definitely wouldn't swear or react so badly in front of children. I might be pissed off, but I could keep lid on it in that scenario.

coodawoodashooda · 21/01/2023 19:59

Stones4bones · 21/01/2023 19:48

Thanks replies.

Context is DD4 went to reach something on the table, knocked DH's red wine over. Most of it went over his empty dinner plate but some on his dark grey 'best' jumper.

He exploded, shouted at the top of his voice 'FOR FUCKS SAKE!', went v growly and straight to laundry room.

DD4 was scared, cried when I gave her a cuddle.

DH now in a foul mood. I told him he needed to speak to DD and check she's OK as his reaction was scary. This sent him over the edge and he's accused me of lecturing him.

Had a similar incident earlier this week. DD3 was rocking on her chair, DH asked her to put her chair down and she did. The foot of the chair landed on his toe. It must have hurt. His reaction was the same as above and DD3 was very scared and upset.

My xh used to do stuff like this. He's conditioning you all to his rage. He's entitled because an accident did happen. This hides the fact that he is being nasty and keeping you all extra aware of your actions. A couple of years of this and you'll be all walking on eggshells

Nimbostratus100 · 21/01/2023 20:03

children have accidents. NO need for anger. This has reminded me of the time my son, aged 5 somehow caused an ink fountain from his pen all over a beautiful new settee. He was mortified, the owner of the settee just hugged him and said "I'd rather have visits from you than a clean settee" and that was 20 years ago and the spots are still there.... ( and she still gets visits)

ElderFloury · 21/01/2023 20:05

So they're aged three and four?! I'd be really upset if my partner swore like that and behaved that way to them.
We all reach a tipping point now and then but I personally literally grit my teeth and move on. He needs to stop sulking, I would get the instant ick at this.

Dacadactyl · 21/01/2023 20:08

Thats not nice of him, but I have exploded at the kids in the past if they've been needling me for ages and then if they did something like that, yes id probably lose it.

However, not when they were 4.

Dacadactyl · 21/01/2023 20:08

And also, the sulking for ages afterwards is not on. Did he apologise to you and your child?

amylou8 · 21/01/2023 20:09

Is she DD age 4 or 4th DD. He was out of order either way, but while there's no excuse to behave like this to a 4 year old, if she was 20 and messing around he might have mitigation for being pissed off.

cleanitup · 21/01/2023 20:09

You need to protect your children from his temper. I'm sorry, he is showing you who he is. I can't imagine being angry at a 4 year old for this.

Tamarindtree · 21/01/2023 20:13

Children are impulsive and clumsy. Yes of course he would be upset that his dinner might be spoilt and his jumper might be temporarily stained but his nasty reaction to a small child is awful.

Most of us might make an exclamation such as, ‘Oh no my jumper!’ and rush off to dab the stain and then upon our return we might mock roll our eyes at the child and make light of it.

As an adult it is his responsibility to ensure his wine glass can’t be knocked over by a small child.

Todaynotalways · 21/01/2023 20:14

In that context your DH was out of line.

If DD spilt it by accident, there is no need to be angry, a bit miffed that my jumper might be stained, but no blame.

If it happened because DD was messing about, I'd be cross, but I wouldn't swear, I might say something like "c'mon DD, you were messing around and now my jumper's stained... you need to be more careful".

Timeforachangeisitnot · 21/01/2023 20:18

Well he is just lovely isn’t he? The way he has reacted would stay with me. I would be judging him massively for this.
I would try to have a calm conversation about his inappropriate over- reaction, but sounds like that’s 2 strikes. Happen again and he would be out.
Get yourself prepared that you may need to get rid.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 21/01/2023 20:38

I'd be focusing on getting the jumper rinsed to stop it staining, so I'd jump up and dash into the kitchen.

TakeABite · 21/01/2023 20:43

Wow!
No adult should be reacting that way to a child accidentally knocking a glass of wine over.
Awful.