Panic attacks. Please help

[fuckmylife2023]

As the title suggests I'm having panic attacks.
For a little context (you probably recognise my name as I posted recently after having a week in hospital with a blood clot / heart condition. I'm 28. A little back story as to why I think I've got here.

In the last 5 years I have:
Been diagnosed with cancer. It's a life long cancer but after gruelling chemo and surgery that nearly cost me my life, I am stable and NED, but due to the nature of the cancer it'll probably come back. I've always been prepared for this but lucky enough to be clear, for now.
Gone through IVF and had DD after an incredibly traumatic pregnancy / birth due to complications in my tummy from said cancer.
Fell pregnant naturally after being told I had a 0 chance. Then had to book myself an abortion on medical grounds - I miscarried on the morning of said abortion. That broke me and DH.
Recently in the last 6 months I've been diagnosed with a heart condition called LQTS, and the scary thing is, LQTS can cause symptoms the same as a panic attack, which is where the lines are blurring and I'm stuck.

Sorry to list all my problems. It's just to try and rationalise why this is happening to me. We found out yesterday that our landlord is selling our home. I'm off on long term sick leave at the moment and we have to try and find somewhere else to live now, and to find somewhere that will take us on with me being on sick leave. This time last year we were nearly ready to put a deposit down for a mortgage. Our savings have taken a battering now because of my sick leave. I cannot believe how much sickness can fuck things up. It truly can happen to anyone.

Anyway.

I'm starting to have what I think are panic attacks. If I see it brewing I can sometimes, with a lot of work, push it away. But it inevitably ends up coming out anyway. The one I had last night was the worst one I've ever had. I don't want to sound dramatic but I genuinely, really thought I was dying.

I get severe chest pain, my heart races to the 160s, I sometimes black out, I have the dreaded impending sense of doom, and an overwhelming urge to escape / run to a safe space. I was so desperate last night I'm ashamed to say I ended up in A&E. because some of the symptoms mimic my heart condition, I worry sick Every time I have a panic attack in case something is really wrong. Which is making this 100x harder.

I begged and begged with my life for a doctor to help me as I am so low at the moment. I really had to fight to get some help last night, as rightly so, when I turned up to hospital, my levels went back to normal. (Well as normal as a LQTS ECG can look) I was inconsolable and at that point, I just wanted to end it all. I am not suicidal and I don't want to harm myself, but at the minute I'm swimming against a current I just can't keep battling against. I am trying so hard to be a mum, a wife, a friend. I am a shell of my old self. And I don't know how to get me back.

My husband is my pillar of strength and none of this is easy for him. I can't fault him, he is amazing and does everything he can do to make me feel okay. I'm constantly on edge. I'm extremely limited as to what medications I can take for anx/dep due to my heart condition. After me begging; the doctors kindly sent me home with 3 days worth of diazepam until I can get hold of my GP on Monday.

How can I get my life back, I just want to feel in control again. Panic attacks are no joke and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. I've never had them before and they've started happening these past few weeks. The reason I know they're panic attacks as when I'm in hospital, they calm down. So I know, rationally, that it's probably not my heart, but a panic attack. But during the attacks that goes out the window.

If anyone has anything that can help, any books, tips, anything, please let me know. I feel like I'm clutching to the last threads of life at the moment and I don't know what to do or where to turn.

So sorry this post is long (and pretty outing) but I'm so desperate for my mind and body to get some respite. I've been referred to the local MH team but it's currently a 4 year wait, and due to me being in sick leave I cannot afford to go privately.

I cannot go on beta blockers due to my heart condition. I'm on a truck load of heart meds as it is. Trying to get hold of my cardiologist is impossible and the last 2 telephone appointments have been cancelled. I don't know whether it's best to tackle this with a different change in heart meds, or to try anxiety medication. I'm already on the max dose of mitazapine. Apart from helping me sleep a little better, its done nothing for the anxiety / fear / panic attacks. I've been on it since November.

Thank you in advance. I'm sorry for the long ramble. MN has really helped me through the years so I'm reaching out again to see if anybody has any advice.

This is absolutely shit op, so sorry you’re having a rough time. I have panic attacks but I can’t help much as I don’t have a heart condition. Don’t feel bad for going to a&e, like you say the symptoms of both overlap each other, you’re better off going for a panic attack than staying at home assuming it’s a panic attack when it’s potentially your heart condition.

It sounds like your anti depressants aren’t doing much to help either, not all anti depressants work for everyone so you might need to keep changing until you find the right one for you, you really need to speak to your gp about that though and see what they suggest

You poor thing. I really think you need to talk to your cardiologist about this as it may well be caused by medication or your condition. Email or keep calling, be nice to his secretary but don't take no for an answer.
Do not feel ashamed to be at A and E for medical help. You needed it and you're absolutely right about the symptoms being the same.
You've clearly been through the mill and them some. I'm so sorry everything has been so challenging.
Although my problems to be honest pale in comparison, I have tried many things to help with my panic attacks as I have similar issues to you but less severe.
What I have done:
1.Removed all caffeine from my diet, no tea coffee or chocolate. I wasn't having huge amounts but I figured I didn't NEED these things in my life and if removing them could make me even just 5% better then it's worth it. Haven't had any for a couple of years now. My DH accidentally gave me a tea with caffeine and I felt quite ill afterwards (not hyper, just strange and horrid)

1. I walk. When my panic attacks first started I had this bizarre urge to pace. Uncontrollably. It helped. Now I make sure that I have a brisk ish 30 minute walk every single day without fail. Rain, snow, sun, I walk. If it looks like I'm getting panicky I go outside.
2. Talk to people, again when I felt an attack looming I would go somewhere and try and talk to someone, shop assistants, libraries, dog walkers you name it I tried to pass the time of day with them. No one realised why I did it and bonus I ended up making one or two nice friends. I'd also ring people and even late night messaging on Facebook helped.
3. I had counselling. I have been a huge sceptic but it made a big difference. Its an hour to focus on you. There's no where else you can get that because in any normal conversation at some point you have to ask about the other person! The counsellor didn't have a magic phrase, for me it was the culmination of a series of appointments where I was free to let it all hang out.

I did other things including eating more healthily, breathing exercises, vitamins etc too but I think these four made the most difference. I am not cured. But I am MUCH MUCH better.

Wishing you well

@Mannymoomin thank you. I'm sorry you're having panic attacks too. They really are gut wrenchingly awful aren't they.

I'll get on to the GP first thing Monday morning.

@ElderFloury

I'm so sorry you had to go through panic attacks too. They have just started out of nowhere. I've never had one before and I think I was quite naive as to how awful they are.

I'm going to try the caffeine. It's not good for my always tachy heart as it is and limit myself to one cup a day but I'm now going to decaf all of my caffeinated drinks.
I'll try walking too! I get a horrible but very desperate urge to run / escape / go to a safe place (hospital, normally) which I know I can't do Every time I have a panic attack.

Thank you for the advice, I'll definitely try and stop caffeine, start walking, and speak to my GP about concealing on Monday.

You sound like you've been through hell of a lot, so no wonder your nervous system is on high alert.
Panic attacks are extremely distressing and debilitating. (Yet schools expect and insist students to carry on with education as normal, this is usually the reason for school refusal)
I cured mine myself as Drs were useless.
Look at Panic End website
Buy the book called Dare on Amazon
Look up panic attacks on YouTube
Read everything you can.
Panic attacks are triggered by your thoughts, as soon as you think "what if l have a panic attack", chances are it will bring one on.
Your world becomes much smaller due to avoiding certain situations you fear you may feel panicky.
Feeling trapped as in a car, bus, train or office, or classroom can bring them on.
I tried all the coping/ distraction techniques, deep breathing worked to an extent. After several years l just thought sod it, if l throw up, wet myself, faint or have a heart attack ( all very distressing overwhelming symptoms of a panic attack) so be it, that's when things changed for me.
That's alot easier said than done because once the flight or fight instinct kicks in it floods your system, no amount of CBT can alter that. Allow those awful feelings to come, no resisitance, and like a wave they will reach a peak and then start to subside. Know you are safe and that this is your bodies way of protecting you.
I would also recomend listening to some guided meditation videos on youtube, to relax and help stop your thoughts controlling you.

Sorry you’re going through this - what a huge amount on your plate and scary, scary things too. Agree panic attacks are truly awful. I went through a phase of running to A&E before I understood that it was panic rather than something medically wrong. It feels very safe sitting in a hospital compared to being alone at home.

Things that helped me were the Curable app (they have a great meditation specifically for panic that was one of the only things that really calmed me down).

478 breathing (in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8 on loop) and generally making sure I was breathing right down to the bottom of my stomach.

learning to observe the panic instead of getting swept up in it - psychotherapy helped here. It’s a big mental shift to be able to say ‘oh there’s that panic feeling coming again’ and staying present to the sensations in the body. This is where the Curable panic mediation helped too as it likened panic to excitement/anticipation (think like the exhilaration you might feel when surfing a wave of you were happy to do it - it’s the same emotion chemically but the mindset/belief around them is different).

Brad Yates tapping videos on YouTube -

My doctor gave me Pericyazine tablets to take when I felt an attack coming on, but to be honest they made me feel worse - I couldn’t anticipate the panic attacks early enough to take them at the right time and they would make me crash and feel incredibly tired afterwards. So medication isn’t always helpful!

Hope you find something that works really soon. It might be that after all you’ve been through this is an awful lot of built up fearful energy that needs to work itself out of your system. Exercise might help too because of that too - your body thinks you need to run away from a tiger and it’s priming you for that, so if you’re able to run or do something energetic it can help, though appreciate that might be difficult right now.

I personalised my panic attacks. I told them very firmly that no-one dies of a panic attack so I wasn't sure wtf they were trying to do. I tried to stay on top of my breathing and this became a bit of a mantra.

It sounds barking mad, but I haven't had an attack for over 30 years now.

I followed your previous thread. I'm sorry you are struggling. I also deal with panic attacks. Breathing techniques, meditation and therapy help.

www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/mental-wellbeing/anxiety-and-panic/how-to-deal-with-panic-attacks

YouTube has tonnes of meditation and hypnosis videos. I listened to michael sealy vids when I went to sleep.

in the moment try to focus on an object and list everything you can about it while you breathe.
🌹

How are you, fml? Been keeping an eye on your thread. 😊

hypnotherapy really helped with my panic attacks when AD's didnt

I've recently been diagnosed with heart problems HOMC so I understand the terror. The amount of stress you are under won't be helping and some antidepressant make symptoms worse. How is your GP, do they know your problem maybe worth speaking to Reception and as if any GP's are knowledgable about heart.

The BHF site offer free booklets about specific conditions and they also have cardio nurses you can speak with and are really helpful.

Have you been referred to a specialist heart hospital, mine has a hub where you can access all your information and email direct to various departments.

You said the hospital is your safe space, I understand that and panic is often due to lack of control. Would it help knowing where your local defibrillator is and would your DH do a CPR course. If found having a plan for if the worse happens helped both me and my son.

A 4 year wait for MH help seems wrong, again BHF might be able to help or maybe a local support group. I'm having therapy/CBT/Coping with life limiting illness. I'm happy to share what I learn if that might help. Acceptance, adapting, pacing yourself, it's a lot to deal with. Feel free to message