What do you enjoy in motherhood?

[Livemenot]

Before I had a child, a lot of people around me were saying having children is a lot of joy. Now, once I have one, I don’t enjoy it at all. I love my child and do everything for him but I can’t see any positives to myself (only tiredness, constant lack of sleep, worsened health and looks, less quality time with husband and friends, etc).

Am I missing something? My son is 2 years and 9 months now. Maybe I will enjoy it when he grows up?

I enjoyed every moment. I also loved being pregnant after trying for 4 years. I genuinely enjoyed every stage, the baby bubble, toddler years and childhood. My ds is now 17 and a lovely lad, we have a great relationship. Maybe I've been really lucky because he rarely cried as a baby (except when he had colic) and didn't have toddler tantrums. Fingers crossed but he's 18 this year and has been no trouble at all, an easy teen. I could only have one child due to illness and circumstance so have treasured every moment and still do.

I could've written this post. There's so much joy in the toddler smiles, cuddles and achievements. And so much joy when they go to bed 😁

Definitely more enjoyable moments as they grow older for me.
I like when my 7 year old comes into my room in the morning and gives me morning cuddles, nice and warm at this time of year.
I like going places with them and doing different things.
I like seeing how well they do at school and see them enjoying activities and clubs out of school.
I like that my 11 year old and me will sometimes watch a series or show together and she sends me funny videos .

I agree with my mum she said to her there was no harder or easier age just different

I am not a natural 'there is a baby I havecro coo and hold it l' type mother, I love my child because of who they are and are becoming

There is a reason I stopped at one though, no way was I repeating the experience

I agree OP. It isn’t fun and I don’t care what other people say. It’s really hard work and full of worry unless you don’t give a crap and let them do whatever they want.

But as they get older and develop conversational skills and an actual sense of humour (ie no jokes about poop!) they start to become more interesting to be around. Give it another 8 years or so….

I've found the key has always been doing stuff just for me and taking time out (even if it's just locking the bathroom door for 2 minutes 🙃😬). DS is 6 now. I wouldn't say he's magically become 'easier' as he's got older. There are just different issues and challenges. I can't see that changing even once he's 18 or beyond. Likewise each age and stage has had its joys (issues and challenges). He's always done stuff that has made my heart melt or made me howl with laughter. Those moments always made up for what can be pure drudgery when he was small. I always coped (and still do) better when I'm feeling good.

Have been there an am there have a 2 yr 8 month and a 8 month old. So you are in the thick of it.

What I love:

My toddler is so funny, and how fast she learns and picks up on things. Her giggle and her outgoing nature. My beautiful son's loving smile and happy nature.

What I don't love:

The sheer relentless of it. It literally never stops and its hard going. The lack of sleep, even when they sleep well I don't, its stuffed my body clock and I can't take anything to help as I'm breastfeeding.

But, the more time goes on I am so surprised how much more I love them with every day, its weird. They're like limbs now, can't imagine what it'd be like not having them.

I hope it gets better for you OP, I'm sure it will as your child gets older, not that I can speak from experience, but every one tells me the same.

This is not a reason for having a child in itself, but there's something so wonderful and - for me - so healing about how loved you are by your toddler. My little boy wants to show me everything, he wants me by his side all the time, he bounces with joy when he sees me in the morning and he holds onto my hand when we read together.

It helps to be able to afford to do lovely things and have a cleaner. It definitely helps having a partner who is hands on so you have time to yourself. In our house, DP went out last night so I was up with toddler from first thing. I handed him over at 11 so I can meet friends for lunch. Tomorrow DP will be up with him then take him to his outdoor club. Circumstances make all the difference.

I adore the feeling of being so SO loved.
They really want me and need me and love me.
I've never felt that before I met DH and we had our kids.

They aren't teenagers yet though.

Lol. I’ brought DC1 to their music lesson today and mentioned I might wait inside in the waiting area as it’s cold sitting in the car. I was told ‘just don’t tell anyone you’re my mum and don’t be embarrassing’. When I asked how I was embarrassing, I was told ‘’ not to talk to them and not to say their name’ So basically I could go in if I pretended not to know them.
DC1 is 11!

Love being a mam 🥰 love everything about it. Its hard but worth it

Thank you to everyone for sharing their thoughts and encouragement!

@itsmellslikepopcarn
I’m sorry to hear about the abusive relationship. I do get time off here and there but it feels rushed and hard to relax. I think it’s lack of sleep and interrupted sleep is getting me down the most.

@watchfulwishes
I think we have a pretty good life in general and have a good supporting husband. I guess I’m just selfish and can’t help thinking how much happier I was with less responsibility.

@Fuckitydoodah
It’s getting a little easier but still relentless. I’m so happy the baby stage is over, and looking forward to the age your kids are.

@PortiasBiscuit
True. It’s a scary question to ask yourself. What if? Now when I have him, I would never even think of giving him up.

@Getinajollymood

There must be a reason it’s called terrible twos!

@Taq
Thanks for your honest answer. I feel like that and I hope to get to your stage soon.

@Mol1628
I’ll probably be the same as you!

@freezingpompoms
I do not think I am depressed. Some joy, yes, but it lasts for seconds or minutes only. I must be focusing more on the negatives.
Good point, I work full time, I would find it extremely hard to stay at home with him all day.

@Comedycook
That sounds lovely that you can enjoy doing some things together. Baby and toddler stage is probably not for me. But for now - Peppa Pig!

@kikisparks
Thanks for sharing all these nice moments. I should try to relax more and focus on the little things. My son is always on the go but started being a bit more affectionate which helps.

@35965a
I am glad I am not alone! I hope he gets more independent soon. The time is dragging now though as if it is never going to end!

@pastabest Yes, my favourite time is when he sleeps. I feel guilty for saying that but I enjoy cuddling when he is not feeling well (otherwise he is not too affectionate).

@Worriere
It’s amazing how happy and positive kids are. I think I need to accept my new life and learn how to enjoy the small things with him.

@twinklet
That’s a very good description of each stage. I can see how every stage is different. I’m just not enjoying the baby/toddler stage, hopefully it gets better as you say.

@FT123456
Aww, I am very happy for you and I hope it all continues this way.

@ChillysWaterBottle
Your son sounds like a lovely boy and it’s great having so much support from your partner and parents.
Yes, I cant help thinking about what my life used to be and I tend to overthink everythibg too.
True, I should not jump to conclusions, hopefully I will get to enjoy motherhood more with the next stage and stop comparing my life before and after.

@Everydayitsgettingcloser
Yes, I agree, I work full time and would find it extremely hard to stay at home with a child all day every day.
My husband is definitely very helpful and supportive, I am very lucky to have him. Our son always seeks for more attention from me though and tends to be harder on my part.

@ilovebagpuss
I liked your analogy with a marathon as it definitely physically hard. You’re right, I need to make an effort and organise something as he grows older and it’s easier to leave him with someone. Enjoy your time in London with your daughter and your son’s new culinary adventures!

@MeinKraft
Thank you, I do not think I’m depressed but probably just very tired recently. I need to focus more on myself.

@Lavendareyes
I hear you! My son seems to be similar to yours. Now I know what to look forward to when he turns 3 :D
I always try to think my son is just very curious, imaginative and strong willed but in reality he just never listens and can be very hard to deal with. Lets hope they will get all that energy out while in toddler years and will get to more sense when they’re teenagers!

@frozendaisy
That’s a very wise approach.
I’m sorry you about your son’s eczema and allergies, it must have been tough in addition to raising two kids so close in age.
I’m looking forward to my son getting a bit older so we can go on proper park walks, etc

@Beginningless
It’s hard when you don’t get enough sleep, isn’t it?
I’ll probably look back and think it wasn’t all bad later too. I’m sure you have your hands full with two kids and it’s hard to keep up with their chatting.

@Bbq1
I’m genuinely happy for you. I hope this continues! Both me and my husband are quite quiet of ourselves so it was a shock having a very grizzly squirmy baby and bossy toddler (I just put it nicely).

@popandchoc
I can imagine it’s so nice! I look forward to my son getting older, hopefully I can experience the same things as you.

@WandaWonder
I’ve always loved the idea of children and I’m naturally affectionate and caring person so it’s been a surprise I’m not enjoying the motherhood so far as some (most?) mums do.

@Chasedbythechaser
Yes, how did you know? My toddler laughs and jokes about his pee and poop the most now (and not potty trained!)

@morningstar15
You are right, when you’re in a better headspace, toddler tantrums are magically easier to deal with.

@Winniethepig
I’m sure 2 age gap is hard at this stage and hopefully it gets easier later when they can play together and entertain each other.

@roarfeckingroarr
True! It’s great to escape sometimes. You seem to have organised things well for yourself and family.

@Thepossibility
That’s so true, you feel needed.

@Emmamoo89
<3

How are you doing OP?

I think it's not just motherhood but as a parenthood, most amazing thing is the pure trust you get from your child, especially at the early age. Someone completely depending on you, is a responsibility but also a joy. Once I said to my dc that I take him to watch the trains later. I thought I can't be bothered, but I did because I promised. He thanked me for keeping a promise. It did opened my eyes. Children is so pure, and you are the biggest influence for them. That kind of gave me a purpose, to do the best for my dc.

I had quite hard time when my dc was a toddler. He had to go through multiple medical procedures and always ill. My hair turned grey in a short period of time because of worry once.
Now he's healthier and don't need so much help from me. In a way it's great, but also sad that he doesn't need me as much as he did back then.

Children grow up. And the time is so precious. When you are struggling, it's hard to feel the joy. But you can never get back the time gone. I really feel that now, since my dc is a teen.

Days out. I LOVE days out with them. Now they're bigger we get to do more interesting stuff, although I really enjoyed the steam train stage. Watching them experience new stuff, seeing what grabs their interest - love it.

My youngest has just turned 3. I love her little arms round my neck for cuddles. Love her telling me she's my best friend and that she loves me so much. I get that daily. Last night she also said my mummy is soo beautiful (while I looked a riot) made me laugh.

We also just have moments where something is funny and I'm not sure she understands but she laughs because I'm laughing and it makes me laugh even harder. Sometimes in those moments her big sister (5) is also laughing and it's just a fun moment. 5yr old is also very loving and we enjoy dancing together and playing games. She's had company and most of the time fairly well behaved.

There's lots of Hardwork everyday though and they drive me round the bend too. Worst part for me is the fighting they play together for 10mins then there's a fight 🙈 Youngest is especially Hardwork but so cute and adorable at the same time. Your little one is still young it will get better, honestly.