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Original poster

Childcare from grandparents

6 replies

katiejames2015 · 20/01/2023 21:15

Hi, just wanted to get some opinions on this as I’m getting more annoyed with the situation.

when I was younger from around 13-25 I looked after after my younger siblings when parents were going out or going away for a weekend. I was also looked after by my grandparents regularly when my parents were going out when I was younger.

Now I have my own children my parents do not offer to have my children or they laugh when I ask if they can have them.

I know the expectation is that when you have kids you shouldn’t expect your parents to babysit, but as I have done it for them I honestly thought that they would return the favour.

Just wondered if anyone else had experienced this

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 20/01/2023 21:18

Have you mentioned that you helped them?

Original poster
katiejames2015 · 20/01/2023 21:21

No as my mum can dismiss things and say that it never happened or that it was different for her and it’s nothing to do with my situation. She’s quite difficult to speak up to

OP posts:
IvanaB · 20/01/2023 21:26

I'm fortunate in that I haven't experienced this. I'd be resentful too in your shoes.

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Families
Frumpymumma · 20/01/2023 23:02

I see where you're coming from
One of my parents rarely has my dcs.
The other all the time. Literally at the drop of a hat.
When my siblings were younger, plus large age gap, parents divorced. I did between my work hours all pre school drops or collections. Over nights when they had early starts.
Df worked nights and dm early. But as separated often would be times that they had no childcare as df would finish 6am dm start start 8am but that was too early to get siblings up and sorted. So they stayed at my house. I had a baby and did their stuff and mine

So yes but ive learned to accept it.
One doesn't and i dont ask
Other i could call now and say i need a sitter 8am and it wouldn't be a problem. And regularly helps with school drops or when i have work or errands to do

Original poster
katiejames2015 · 20/01/2023 23:31

Thanks for the reply’s. Just feel so resentful that I don’t have the help that my parents had, mostly with me doing the childcare. But it’s hard to bring it up and I don’t want my kids going somewhere they aren’t wanted. It’s just harder than i expected

OP posts:
cruisebaba1 · 16/03/2023 14:55

katiejames2015 · 20/01/2023 21:21

No as my mum can dismiss things and say that it never happened or that it was different for her and it’s nothing to do with my situation. She’s quite difficult to speak up to

Your mums view on things is self serving. My mum was like this and she was a narcissistic with a Capital N. You will never win with people like this, I had to go NC for good to save my sanity. Please lees en contact so these feelings you have )which are normal) can heal. It’s awful when it’s like this but you have to protect yourself and your MH. X

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