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Turning 50

34 replies

MrsMorrisey · 20/01/2023 13:16

I'm turning 50 this year and I didn't think I'd feel the way I do.
It's almost like I'm surprised I'm this age.
I've found myself thinking about everything in my life. Past relationships, my looks, my marriage, my kids, my future, pretty much everything
The middle age belly is appearing, skin is starting to sag and I feel less appealing and somehow less significant.
My family don't feel like that and my husband loves me as I am, it's more how I feel.
Anyone have these feelings too turning 50?

OP posts:
x2boys · 20/01/2023 13:50

I turn 50 at the end of the year ,I'm a lot more comfortable about it then when I turned 30,or 40 for that matter ,50 is not that old ,but I guess we are not going anymore !😂

arghtriffid · 20/01/2023 17:30

No. I came to terms with it between 45 - 49. I am fit and healthy.

rumred · 20/01/2023 17:38

I struggled with turning 50. Felt like I was on the last lap of life. But I wasn't in a good place at the time, needed to mkve, end a relationship, end my career.
I did all those things. Life gave me a kicking, and I'm out the other side.
It's a key age, you're heading towards old age retirement etc. The good news is you have the experience to deal with it all.
Re looks- just avoid the mirror and smile. Damn those jowls

Tearsndears · 20/01/2023 17:45

At around 50 and the menopause I had some kind of epiphany . I could clearly see what I had done right / wrong in my life and it also brought what truly mattered into sharp focus . I started to worry about my health and drew up a bucket list . I also truly did not care what anyone thought of me . Like me or lump me . I also had no compunction about letting people know if they had pissed me off and said no more often .

Nimbostratus100 · 20/01/2023 17:48

Turning 50 is fantastic - it was the day I just felt totally free. At 50 you can be entirely you. You are not on the way to developing into something else, you are not beholden to anyone, you are not junior to anyone any more. Its the best feeling ever.

YOu can be completely free! enjoy xx

cptartapp · 20/01/2023 17:53

I turned 50 last year fit and well. I've just turned 51 and in the last twelve months have developed three chronic conditions out the blue.
Certainly makes you reconsider the future. But four years closer to retirement.

Idreamofpizza · 20/01/2023 17:59

I am approaching 50 and I definitely feel like it's changed how I look at things. I'm much more likely to say no to things now. I have also reevaluated a few relationships and stepped back from some people who definitely haven't been there for me, which wasn't received well, but life is now much happier and calmer. And finally I'm more able to treat myself - because if I can't do X when I'm 50 then when will I?

NooNakedJacuzziness · 20/01/2023 17:59

I'm 50 in a few days and I'm really not that bothered. I remember being really down when I turned 30 for some strange reason! It is but a number.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 20/01/2023 18:03

I'm turning 50 this year also but don't feel bad about it at all.
In the last few years I've lost so many friends and family through illness that I just see every milestone a privilege denied to many👍🏻

bestbefore · 20/01/2023 18:05

I'm turning 50 too soon. I actually don't care about it, it's just a number. But I am glad to have made it, an old friend died just before her 49th.

mizu · 20/01/2023 18:09

Turning 50 next month and feel similar. A bit all over the place. On one hand, I feel great, still in a job that I enjoy (but not sure I can do until 67) relatively fit (no proper exercise regime, know I have to do more weight bearing stuff but walk a lot) and feel more confident in myself. However, I have recently (in the last few months) felt a bit odd.

Had full hysterectomy 7 years ago and felt great after but I'm wondering now whether around this time is the time I would have gone into menopause as although I take HRT and have done since the op, I feel it's not working as well anymore. I have bouts of feeling not myself with several menopausal symptoms....... it's a weird age as pp said, heading into second part of life.

Quite scary as we all think we'll never get old.

Anyway, I'm having a big party and plan to do lots of other little things to celebrate.

Arcadia · 20/01/2023 18:27

I had a kind of freak out about it at New Year as I'll be 50 in June 2024 so it was suddenly 'next year'!
It's constantly on my mind (even though I'm still 48).
So strange because the only age that has bothered me before was 26, God knows why!
It's extra hard as a lot of my friends are younger than me.
I suddenly feel like I'm planning towards retirement and feel a bit cynical about a lot of things. I've started worrying about my pension too which is not nearly enough lucky to have a healthy mother and parents in law, but they are getting on as are lots of my aunties and uncles so I'm dreading all the funerals to come.

Quitelikeacatslife · 20/01/2023 18:32

I turned 50 last year and decided to have a lovely party, I did it at home and invited all (and only) those I wanted to , it was really joyful and totally on my terms , it still makes me smile thinking about dancing outside with my school friends at 4.30 in the morning. It doesn't work for everyone but I've got to the point where life is to be celebrated. You are never going to be any younger , so do what you've always wanted to do (if you possibly can)

Ofbollocks · 20/01/2023 18:33

I didn't like turning 40, but was absolutely fine about 50. I feel like you now, but I am turning 60.
I say enjoy these years. Get as fit as you can, have fun and make the most of it.

NewyearNewStartnomorejunk · 20/01/2023 19:02

I'd dreading. Only a few months to go.
I'm over weight and feel invisible. All I see in the mirror are chins.
I need to pull something out of the bag and soon. I hate the thought of being old and not being to do things. I hate that I won't be around for DD (10) when she's older I hate that I haven't been married long enough I wish I'd met DH years ago.

I gave this horrible feeling of not done enough and my life is going too fast for me

HerRoyalNotness · 20/01/2023 19:05

It astounds me when I think of being almost 50! I was talking to someone last night about how I used to live in such and such and it was a great time I’d love to go back. She asked when that was. Erm 20yrs ago. I can’t believe it!

i feel less attractive to put it mildly, and think I look awful, but then I’m comparing myself to my younger version. I try not to do it, difficult as it is

EBearhug · 20/01/2023 19:06

It's great. I've been dating and having the best sex of my life, after nothing in my 40s. I'm the fittest I've been for years. I'm much more at ease with myself.

HerRoyalNotness · 20/01/2023 19:06

Doesn’t help that I’ve wasted the last of my good years, the past 10 living somewhere I hate. Totally wasted. Makes me vv angry. So I try not to think about that too much either

Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals · 20/01/2023 19:09

I wasn’t great about turning 40, but 50 in 15 days doesn’t feel so bad. I think it’s mostly because I am on hrt now and feel bloody amazing in comparison with the range of health complaints I’ve had over the last two years. Looking ahead, I feel like I’m shedding a lot of the imposter syndrome that I’ve felt for years and am much stronger. Only fly in the ointment is that I feel that I have to make decisions about work - move on because I’m now 50 and have in one place too long (school) or stick with it and risk being too old to be taken seriously in another school.

Ontobetterthings · 20/01/2023 19:37

Totally understand. Be nice to yourself. 50 is relatively young these days

Reinbek · 20/01/2023 19:44

I'm fifty in the spring and feel great about it. My children are adults, mortgage paid off, love my job, got time for socialising and exercise, life feels good!

SallyWD · 20/01/2023 20:05

I'm turning 50 next year and have to admit I feel really anxious about it. I think it's ridiculous to feel this way but I can't help it. It doesn't help that DH is 5 years younger than me. I think I wouldn't feel so bad if I had an older husband! I think one of the main things that worries me about being 50 is the hormonal changes. I know I'm losing all that oestrogen which is a huge change in terms of losing my youthful appearance, health risks increasing etc. I'm finding that as my oestrogen levels plummet I'm losing a certain kind of energy and passion for life. I used to feel so passionately about things - eg music, films, the world, friendships etc. Now I just feel flat about everything. Not depressed just flat, like I can't be bothered. Nothing really excites me anymore.
On a positive note I had cancer in my 30s and was so scared I'd never reach 50. The fact that I'm still here, living a wonderful life, raising my children etc is just wonderful. It puts everything in to perspective.

Luredbyapomegranate · 20/01/2023 20:13

I think it’s normal, it’s a real watershed age - there is no kidding yourself - you are more than half way through.

There are a lot of positives - knowing yourself better, having more authority. I think the absolutely key thing is work on your health. Fingers crossed you will have another 35 years and you cannot take good health for granted as you did when you were young

Also remember you are only in the August of life (if you hope to get to 84, and take one month as being 7 years). Someone pointed that out on here recently and I thought it was cheering.

Luredbyapomegranate · 20/01/2023 20:15

SallyWD · 20/01/2023 20:05

I'm turning 50 next year and have to admit I feel really anxious about it. I think it's ridiculous to feel this way but I can't help it. It doesn't help that DH is 5 years younger than me. I think I wouldn't feel so bad if I had an older husband! I think one of the main things that worries me about being 50 is the hormonal changes. I know I'm losing all that oestrogen which is a huge change in terms of losing my youthful appearance, health risks increasing etc. I'm finding that as my oestrogen levels plummet I'm losing a certain kind of energy and passion for life. I used to feel so passionately about things - eg music, films, the world, friendships etc. Now I just feel flat about everything. Not depressed just flat, like I can't be bothered. Nothing really excites me anymore.
On a positive note I had cancer in my 30s and was so scared I'd never reach 50. The fact that I'm still here, living a wonderful life, raising my children etc is just wonderful. It puts everything in to perspective.

Feeling flat could well be depression you know. It’s not normal to loose all passion for life just because you are in mid life (or old for that matter).

It might be worth seeing a GP or a meno clinic, even if you can’t take HRT there are other things.

TakeABite · 20/01/2023 20:22

I’m almost 50 and I’m not feeling great.

I’ve had a hysterectomy.
I’ve gone from looking years younger than my years to suddenly looking my age (& more!) almost over night.
I have a number of chronic health conditions I’ve been struggling with for the last couple of years and they are getting worse.

I don’t actually know how I’m supposed to work for the next 17 years, I’m already looking at bungalows on RM because I’m struggling in our house and can barely push the hoover around.

I know 80 year olds with more life than me!

This is not how I thought my 50’s would be.