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I think my elderly neighbour is developing dementia. Can we get her help anonymously?

4 replies

RAIS · 20/01/2023 09:55

Neighbour lives alone and is increasingly struggling to move around. The issue is the neighbour is antagonistic and quite frankly a vile human being to have to deal with so we try to have as little contact as possible.

However, over the last few months they have repeatedly complained of a smell coming from our house. We can't smell anything, the various gas engineers and plumbers who have been called out can't smell or find anything, but the neighbour is constantly complaining about it. (We aren't doing anything to make a smell - we are just normal people in a normal house).

They go on rants via email which we do not reply to and they cc in the prime minister into these emails - no idea if it really is the prime minister but neighbour thinks it is! The spelling and punctuation in these emails is becoming worse as the months go on.

Sometimes the neighbour is perfectly nice to us as though they have forgotten that they hate us, then next time we see them it's back to complaining about us making them ill or making the outside of their house dirty.

The neighbour has children but they live abroad and never visit and we don't have their contact details.

Can we report the neighbour to social services anonymously - if they find out it is us then they will be furious and make our lives worse.

OP posts:
Season0fTheWitch · 20/01/2023 10:16

You could contact your local social services and let them know you have a neighbour you're concerned about, they'll likely arrange or refer you to someone who can do a welfare check.

Wednesdayschildhasstubbedhertoe · 20/01/2023 10:19

Sounds like they be suffering from phantosmia (olfactory hallucinations) which are common after covid

SalviaOfficinalis · 20/01/2023 10:20

I would phone social services for advice. I’m sure they’ll be able to keep you anonymous.

It sounds like this person needs help and if you’re not on good terms presumably you can’t contact their children.

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WeeOrcadian · 20/01/2023 10:25

Start with your local adult Social Services, though be prepared for a wait.

Do you happen to know which GP they're registered with? I'm not suggesting that they would discuss the neighbour with you, but maybe you could drop them a note as a concerned member of the local area? Might be worth a try

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