Has anyone with young DC experience of reinvigorating their sex life within a marriage please?
We have young preschool DC and I work (run my own business plus part-time lecture). I'm a wife, mum, and daughter to elderly unwell parents so I have many plates spinning.
Our sex life has been pretty rubbish since our 2 year old was born. I had a crap time with soreness down below which made sex excruciating and it took 18 months for me to get a gynae referral and get some proper treatment. That obviously didn't help, and then there's the usual reasons I never feel up for it- carrying extra weight, mum bod, c-section scar, and most of all feeling exhausted most nights. My two year old is struggling with sleep at the moment and we have a sleep consultant helping but it's been quite bad. I often yearn for sleep and at the moment I really crave early nights. I hope that one day maybe when DC a bit older I might be less tired in the evenings?
If I had a magic wand I would love our sex life to be as it was before DC, but I would need to wave that magic wand at myself primarily to help me feel up for it.
My DH has expressed his unhappiness as our sex life has been rubbish since our 2.5 year old was born. He was honest and open about it and he had been really supportive with everything but he said he feels worried that we are just like best friends. He thinks that by now things ought to have improved and I think he's right. We are in a rut. We are quite good at communicating with each other and opening up about stuff, although there's the usual frustrations that sometimes come with busy family life. He has said he wants me to feel happy and he offers to look after DC for a few hours at weekends so I can have some me time and other gestures like that.
We have had sex a few times obviously but it's always missionary as I was either worried about it feeling uncomfortable or ashamed of my body and not wanting to go on top.
Finding the time when I don't feel tired seems difficult. My husband doesn't think so and would happily do it before we go to sleep most nights.
I love him and I want us to be happy, plus I want him to be happy, and I want to want sex again.
I'm 41 if that makes a difference.
I'm not looking for responses saying how great everyone else's sex life is as that won't be helpful up me. I'm genuinely wondering if there are any women out there with young children who have felt the same as me but have managed to turn things around in their marriage?