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Depressed and hate my life

4 replies

Onlychips · 19/01/2023 20:41

I’m 3 months pregnant and feeling very depressed. I wasn’t feeling great before getting pregnant but it seems to have tripled, I’m guessing as a result of my hormones increasing. I just hate my routine of life, my job causes me a great deal of stress as I’m being bullied by everyone. I’ve never been able to defend myself I just stay quiet and accept whatever happens so they have learned they can call me names and treat me badly and I won’t do anything. I then come home to a house I despise. It needs a lot of work and has never felt like home just a roof we live under. The area and neighbours are making it harder for me to try and see the positives. I just come home and sit and cry for hours which then makes me sick and I can barely eat. My partner works long hours and even though I tell him how I feel he isn’t physically here when I need him. He tends to see positives in everything and tells me it will get better eventually. That doesn’t help me because I want support and a shoulder to cry on, he just doesn’t get it. I don’t feel like there is any area of my life I can be happy about right now. Even thinking about the baby just makes me feel guilt rather than excitement now. We can’t afford to move and if I leave my job I won’t get my maternity package. I feel trapped and so alone. No one will help me with my feelings or offer any realistic advice to help me get through it, I thought I could rely on my friends for this type of thing but they just tell me to give it time. They are probably used to me feeling down about my life in general and never being able to find happiness. I know there isn’t much anyone can do for me but I’d really appreciate some kind words of encouragement

OP posts:
CuddlesPleaseTiddles · 19/01/2023 20:51

Hi op sending you hugs 💐 it sounds like lots of long standing issues have come to a boiling point... Could you perhaps start seeing the pregnancy as an opportunity to sort some of these issues? In mat leave you will get a break from the dreadful office, you could find time to search for other opportunities and revamp your cv? Do a bit of DIY, painting etc?

Is it your first child? If yes your life will take a while new meaning, your priority will become the baby, that office b*tch will seem so petty and irrelevant... Stay strong.

CuddlesPleaseTiddles · 21/01/2023 16:05

Onlychips how are you feeling today?

Onlychips · 23/01/2023 19:41

Thank you for your lovely message and for checking in on me. I haven’t been back online so I didn’t see your reply I’m sorry. I’m still feeling pretty down but I’m starting to see some positives now. I’m doing jobs around the house and saving for a short break away, some motivation I never thought I’d get! I’m hoping the saying ‘time is the best healer’ will prove true. Thanks again x

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CuddlesPleaseTiddles · 24/01/2023 21:21

Glad you're feeling a teeny bit better op. Lots of ups and downs isn't it. One day at a time. I did quit during mat leave, so very much sympathise... Couldn't bear to go back. And spent time doing up my cv. Worked out well in the end. There's always a way out op, even if it feels stuck at the time.

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