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Original poster

Kids clubs... But they're too tired!!

20 replies

fuckthemail · 19/01/2023 18:37

I have an almost 8yo DS and 6yo DS. They currently do 2 after school clubs per week and are so tired and grumpy!!! Reassure me that only doing 1 per week is ok??? We live in quite a well to do area where most kids are doing 5+ clubs a week as the norm...

OP posts:
FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 19/01/2023 18:40

DD is 8, she does 1 after school club (Brownies) and swimming lessons on Sunday morning. It's enough for her and she's usually pretty tired by the end of Friday so I think adding anything else to the eek would be pushing it.

Phos · 19/01/2023 18:46

DD is 5. She does Rainbows on a Monday, swimming on a Wednesday and football on Sunday morning.

She will be doing Forest School on Thursdays after half term which is based at school. I wouldn't have necessarily chosen for her to do that but I work till half 4 on a Thursday so it's that or "late school" and Forest School sounds much more fun!

She also does various lunchtime clubs. I have spoken to her to see if she wants to tone it down but she was horrified at the idea of dropping any of her hobbies.

She's pretty indefatigable though, she never seems tired out so I'm not seeing harm yet. If she seemed stressed, I'd step in.

Arushofbloodtothehead · 19/01/2023 18:51

I would do whatever suits DC. My 9yo seems to never get tired so he does quite a few. We actually have a clash this year and he wanted to do two different activities on a Monday.

If he was tired though I would work with that and if that meant only doing 1 activity, thats what I would do.

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MargaretThursday · 19/01/2023 18:52

It depends on your child.
DD1 did well with 2-3 a week.
DD2 would have preferred to do 2-3 a night!
Ds did one a week at that age (although he subsequently decided he loved it and at one point was doing 15 hours a week when he was early teenage) He really wasn't up to doing more at that age though.

reluctantbrit · 19/01/2023 19:07

DD did two, Brownies from 6pm until 7.30pm and theatre directly after school until 5.30pm.

She went to bed as normal so there was no difference between being at home or doing her club time wise but yes, sometimes she said she was tired but never so tired that she wanted to stop.

Is this only recent? Has anything changed in school?

I found that DD is more tired in the evenings when it's dark compared to Spring Summer when she could go for ages. But as long as she had the opportunity to rest on other days and the weekend she was fine.

Mumof1andacat · 19/01/2023 19:10

We never done any apart from swimming after school on the day I was able to pick ds up. We did that for about 18 months. He's already in wraparound care until 5pm most nights. Its too much to then do a club in the evening

Sleepless1096 · 19/01/2023 19:12

Children are all different. It's also about what works for your family. My 5yo does a sports club, drama club and swimming lesson after school during the week but nothing at weekends as we prefer to keep them free for down-time, days out and parties. But I know a few parents who have cancelled everything during the week and do swimming or other activities at the weekend as their children are too tired after school.

changingforthebetter3 · 19/01/2023 19:18

Yeah it depends on the child. My 8yr old does one per week and I've had to push to keep that (swimming) but she is really tired after school and just prefers to be at home. My 6yr old does three and has lots of energy and would be fine with more.

NuffSaidSam · 19/01/2023 19:20

One club a week is fine, as is zero clubs. The right choice is what suits your DC.

PayPennies · 19/01/2023 19:21

fuckthemail · 19/01/2023 18:37

I have an almost 8yo DS and 6yo DS. They currently do 2 after school clubs per week and are so tired and grumpy!!! Reassure me that only doing 1 per week is ok??? We live in quite a well to do area where most kids are doing 5+ clubs a week as the norm...

It depends entirely on the child. DS is 7 - and is absolutely jam packed with energy I’ve never seen him tiered (touchwood). He does an after school activity club at school everyday by way of extending the school day and then outside of school clubs - he does cricket (seasonal, with winter nets), football, swimming, French and piano. We haven’t seen him out of energy for a minute so far to the extent that we genuinely wonder how he’s got that much battery in him.

Eatentoomanyroses · 19/01/2023 19:24

It’s the same here. Most kids do so much. Dd has dropped two recently as it was becoming a battle getting her to go. At the moment she does swimming once, a sport once in the week and once at weekend, and we’ve just added a new one but not sure if it’ll stick.

Swissmountains · 19/01/2023 19:26

It is better than okay, it is brilliant parenting!

You are not being sucked into the club circuit and prioritising loads of random clubs over your child's well being. Your child won't be running for the olympics or whatever, so don't do it if they are tired. Some parents do feel they need to give their children 'everything', without acknowledging the importance of unstructured play, down time and quality time with you. Every child need to learn to relax and quieten down at home, or they end up always being 'on' and this isn't good for them.

Even if you have a child that loves clubs, it is better to offer them a balanced life and have time to enjoy their toys and be creative. Use their imagination, draw, paint and do puzzles and read etc.

Looking back now the kids that do too much tend to have problems regulating, dealing with stress etc later on, and given the pressures today it is a good idea to listen to your children, prioritise rest and relaxation in your family and good mental health (well being)

I wish people would value unstructured play. It is so important in early years.

Enjoy your children op they grow up super fast.

Spring23 · 19/01/2023 19:30

Mine never do any - every child is different. If they're grumpy, everyone is grumpy!

Sucessinthenewyear · 19/01/2023 19:33

Do they in any wrap around care? We normally cap it at 3 things a week but my 6 year old is currently doing 4 this half term. 2 of them are at school which cuts travel time but they are only for this half term.

We now never do anything on a Friday night as that’s for home “cinema club” 😉.

Thesonglastslonger · 19/01/2023 19:34

“Some parents do feel they need to give their children 'everything', without acknowledging the importance of unstructured play, down time and quality time with you. Every child need to learn to relax and quieten down at home, or they end up always being 'on' and this isn't good for them”

So true!

Original poster
fuckthemail · 19/01/2023 19:50

Swissmountains · 19/01/2023 19:26

It is better than okay, it is brilliant parenting!

You are not being sucked into the club circuit and prioritising loads of random clubs over your child's well being. Your child won't be running for the olympics or whatever, so don't do it if they are tired. Some parents do feel they need to give their children 'everything', without acknowledging the importance of unstructured play, down time and quality time with you. Every child need to learn to relax and quieten down at home, or they end up always being 'on' and this isn't good for them.

Even if you have a child that loves clubs, it is better to offer them a balanced life and have time to enjoy their toys and be creative. Use their imagination, draw, paint and do puzzles and read etc.

Looking back now the kids that do too much tend to have problems regulating, dealing with stress etc later on, and given the pressures today it is a good idea to listen to your children, prioritise rest and relaxation in your family and good mental health (well being)

I wish people would value unstructured play. It is so important in early years.

Enjoy your children op they grow up super fast.

Yessss this! Thank you! I used to say this sort of thing all the time but have definitely got sucked into this new culture since relocating. You are totally right and we'll enjoy deliberately doing less 😊

OP posts:
CoffeeAndCreativity · 19/01/2023 19:54

My 6 year old does gymnastics on Mondays and she loves it but is always absolutely shattered afterwards and grumpy. She is happy to come home from school and draw/write, play with her dolls and chill out.

idonotmind · 19/01/2023 19:58

My 9 year old does Scouts on Friday evening. That's it. DD is only 6 and too knackered just from school, never mind clubs etc

idonotmind · 19/01/2023 19:59

Totally what Swiss said.

We chill during the week, do stuff at weekends - outdoors, library etc.

EcoCustard · 19/01/2023 20:28

Dc1 goes to Cubs midweek but prefers to be at home playing or just being home. Dc2 goes to Beavers, gymnastics & football. Dc3 goes to Rainbows, gymnastics & football but they love it and seem to thrive on being busy and out and about. Dc4 is 3 so no after school clubs yet and don’t encourage it until yr1, however he loves sport already so I can see him going to something sooner. Weekends are free for playing, library, going out as a family though, watching a film. I will skip clubs though if tired or run down or we have plans. I think it depends on the child, I was always anti clubs but my all my Dc are different so try to go with what works for them and a balance as a family.

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