Shit at new job

[BannisterCannister]

Started a new job in the Autumn and after feeling stable, confident and capable my whole working life I am just absolutely shit at it. It's such a massive workload and I constantly feel stressed, nervous and incompetent. It's mortifying. My four month review went well, they said I'm "doing well" and they are kind and supportive because they've fully acknowledged how much is being thrown at me but I just feel dread thinking of it and that they are bound to be secretly exasperated and just putting up with me. Is this done? Is that done? How and when will I fit this in? It's like playing tennis but with one racket and twenty nine balls. I feel like I'll never get a hold on it, the workload just keeps coming through. There are constantly things I'm trying to get my head around. Having to brush up on subjects I've always told I do well in but their level is so much higher. Everytime I have a surge of confidence when something goes well, something comes up that leaves me feeling clueless again. I'm so up and down all the time. I was in my previous job for 8 years (similar but not identical), 4 years before that, 5 before that and was always confident and able, now I just feel like a liability who has to be carried. Forgetting the many things I'm trying to remember, having to ask things more than once (I do make notes as much as I can). I really am trying my best, it seemed to start off well and I do think I'm making a slight positive difference but my progression is so much slower than I wanted it to be. I know it sounds arrogant but I hoped I would be smashing it by now, I've always managed it previously and been told so. So I've well and truly been shoved off my pedestal this time and it's really knocked me. Does anyone else ever feel this bad? I want it to click into place and feel like I'm succeeding but I just don't think it will ever happen and I'll have to go through the whole exhausting recruitment shit all over again. I feel so frustrated.

I felt this way when I started my new job. I had been in my previous job for over a decade. Now I’m almost a year into my new job and I love it. But I felt absolutely overwhelmed with both the workload and learning their systems initially. Yet (same as you) manager told me I was doing well and not to be so hard on myself. Might be worth telling them you’re feeling this way. I think give it time. I think it takes a good 6 months to start to settle in to a new job.

Totally relate to this. I started a new job 8 months ago. Had a start up business before and was a full time mum for a while. Management position before that.
It's been 18 years though since I've been in a corporate environment.

It's quite a senior role and I've had so much self doubt. There's so much to learn, goal posts move all the time, no structure , so many different tasks/projects to juggle and frankly it sometimes feels like I could work 24/7 and still not get on top.

But recently with new management it does feel better and I'm feeling more confident.

My advice.Don't beat yourself up. They employed you because of your skills. It's up to them to being the best out in you. You will get there and it will slowly start to make sense. Try not to lose your confidence- easier said than done.

OP I could have written this about myself! I can’t wait for someone else new to start so I won’t feel like the newbie!

Yeah they know how I feel but despite the reassurance they've given me I just don't believe them. I won't go on about it to them, I don't want to come across as needy. At first I actually laughed when I had a taste of the ridiculous amount of work I was facing but months in I just think deep down they expect me to have taken more ownership by now. It's just case of pulling things out of the air and doing whatever I can. It feels awful. I worry about it all weekend.

Same - and it's hard!

Sorry. I can't read text not broken down. But most jobs take a year to learn. Be carried and then be an asset. Hang in there.

Feel sick going in 😔