Why don't people stop to help anymore?

[WrendaleCountryDogs]

I've just been driving and came to a set of cross roads on narrowish roads. A car was stopped with it's hazards on. Other cars mounting pavement to get passed. As I get closer I realise the driver, a young early 20s woman was stood outside the car visibly upset. I put my hazards on behind her and ask if I can help. Car stalled and now won't start. She doesn't have break down. She's got baby in the back. She's tried ringing 3 different family members and nobody answering.
Now I'm 35, female, and recovering from a slipped disc in my back.
I quickly manoeuvre my car more safely behind hers so other cars can pass, tell her to get back in her car and release the hand break and I'll try to push the car across the cross roads to a grassy area . This means pushing the car across traffic. Thankfully it'd a 30mph road going through a village. Fair amount of cars around though as its just been school drop off time and another road is flooded meaning cars are diverting to this road.

Anyway to cut a long story short, I struggled to push the car on my own. So so so many cars drove past, still mounting pavement to get past, people looking at us (I realise it possibly looked like we'd had a bump with me being behind her car). I'm not sexist at all but so many men looked and didn't help.
Eventually a man with a dog out walking saw us and came over to help and we got the car safely onto the grass.

It took a good 10 minutes from me pulling up to us getting her safely across the road. My back is hurting a lot again now. But I couldn't just leave somebody. Certainly not a young woman.

Why don't people help any more? I get it was school time, people have to get to work etc but there could easily have been an accident.

In these kinds of situations I worry that I will be more of a hindrance than help and that if I try I will balls it up.

Blimey you sound lovely.
Cars can suddenly have something go wrong, however well maintained and serviced they may be. It's no one's "fault" . And whilst waiting for help, someone could be vulnerable or distressed so those of us with an ounce of humanity will check if they're ok or if there's anything we can do to help.

You can call for an emergency breakdown assistance to any breakdown provider. Plenty of details online if you want to Google it. The orange phones on the side of motorway are also for emergency breakdown. All these things are taught to you when learning to drive and every driver should have a copy of the Highway Code, that will also contain some advice.

It isn't anyone else's issue to sort out, other than the person broken down! Just like everything in life.

All of the other cars trying to get past her were probably being driven by people who had to be somewhere at a set time, didn't feel able to help, or were worried about their own safety.

Stuff like this happens all the time round here

@GinoVino So if the person can not sort it out themselves a car sits blocking traffic for an hour or more until breakdown comes. And everyone else has to put up with the inevitable traffic jams because no one will help.

The breakdown cover still has to come. And since I already pay for breakdown I am not paying more to another provider.
And those here who think nobody should help anyway, I hope if my car breaks down it causes a traffic jam that you get stuck in.

I think you experienced an unfortunate circumstance. I blew a tire in a multistory and was part way through jumping up and down on the bar thingy tool to get the wheel nuts off when two young guys saw me, ran off to get jacks etc and changed to the spare tyre quick as you like.

Conversely I have also been stranded on the hard shoulder in the cold and dark and noone stopped but there you go. Some good people, some who are less helpful.

I often attend emergencies in public and find people are mostly absolutely lovely. But with cars it seems a bit different, I think we tend to assume the person has a phone/breakdown/it will be dangerous to stop.

Recently in the dark a policeman tried to help me jumpstart my car and nobody stopped to help - but then he had to leave me somewhere safe and a lovely local chap stopped and got me going..

So on my experience I disagree with you for the most part, but I do think it's different with cars

Yes obviously. That's life. That's what happens if you have breakdown cover or not. And in this scenario it was stupid to push a broken car across a crossroads.

Lots of people would have stopped round here. Maybe it depends on where you live. We are quite rural.

@babsanderson you obviously wouldn't need to pay again for another provider if you already have cover though would you. You'd just ring your own provider. The breakdown cover has to come if someone stops or if they don't. The car is still broken down!

I've not had the same experience. My car lost all power a few months ago. I was waiting to turn right on a busy main road across two lanes.
I put my hazards on, Indicated to the driver behind to go round and within a minute had 4 complete strangers telling me to cross over to the pavement and they'd handle it.
It's an automatic, it wouldn't roll very easily but they managed to turn into the street and park it.
Similar happened when a truck turned into my car a few minutes drive from home.

Probably because they think they're going to get scammed or carjacked. People should have breakdown cover - that's exactly what they're there for.

@GinoVino I know the breakdown will come. I don't know what else to say. I have said many times that cars can breakdown blocking traffic and people can need help to move their car out of the way. Breakdown will rarely come in under an hour and sometimes much longer. So either people help if someone can not move the car themselves, or the car blocks traffic until eventually the breakdown comes.
If you are not willing to help, don't complain about a broken down car blocking a road.

The last time I broke down in the middle of town 4 different men came to help push the car to a safer spot and one tried to diagnose what was wrong. An old couple walking by even went and bought me a sandwich (I looked kind of distressed I guess) - they said they had a daughter my age and hoped someone would help her if she was in the same situation. This was in a town in Northern Ireland though. I can imagine it would be much different in the bigger cities around the UK.

You really aren't paying attention.

People do have breakdown cover, breakdown cover can take hours to get to you to move the car out of the way of traffic. I was on the phone for 45 minutes last week just waiting for them to answer the phone! It was only a flat battery but I was stranded until they could help.

If I hadn't been helped to move my car when it happened to me (which until that point had shown no faults at all) the traffic chaos would have spread to dual carriageways that are the arteries for my city and caused hours of delay for others.

Thankfully people did help after being abused for 5 minutes - how I could possible look like a scam or a car jacking in the middle of a busy city perched on the entrance to a roundabout I have no idea! Some people are just selfish...

Scammers take all shapes and forms. And as an overweight 50 something female I doubt I'd be able to push a car with the best will in the world. So no, I wouldn't stop.

Oh and I did have breakdown cover but it was no use to the hundreds of other drivers who I would have held up at 3pm peak traffic time. Breakdown cover is not the be all and end all. Practice help is often needed just to clear the lane and keep traffic flowing.
If I'd left my car where it had broken down, within around 12/15 minutes there would have been a huge backlog of traffic and probably would have had to listen to loads of abuse from drivers as well. Thankfully the general public around me on the day thought likewise and took charge of moving my car so as not to cause a traffic jam

The thing that springs to my mind is: why didn't the driver, who knew she didn't have breakdown cover, accept her life choices and call a breakdown firm knowing she'd have to pay for it? I mean, there wasn't any real need to involve anyone else? She wasn't totally blocking the road, cars were able to safely get round her. Drama over nothing. Sure she was upset, doesn't stop her phoning the AA or googling the number for a mobile mechanic and calling them out. Why can't people take any responsibility for themselves whatsoever?

@MyBabyLaura she probably can not afford it

I wouldn’t have stopped to help. Too risky. There was probably half a dozen blokes hiding behind a bush waiting to jump on anyone who stops. Or if I damaged her car while trying to help she’d sue me.

Because that would not have changed anything about the fact the way was in the middle if the road causing major traffic issues AND was a risk of creating an accident.
Yes she could have rung a breakdown firm. Fur all you know she might well have done so afterwards anyway. It wouldn’t have changed the issue the OP helped with, nor would it have been quicker.

Are you always so over anxious?