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Original poster

How to cope with snoring on holiday!

32 replies

SnoringPains · 17/01/2023 15:12

DH has always been a loud snorer. Pre children I drowned it out with white noise & earplugs, since DC came along we’ve taken to sleeping in separate rooms because I don’t want to wear earplugs if I’ve got small children (newborn & 3y/old) to listen out for, plus I can’t cope with any other disturbances at night after 3 years of DS waking me. My issue is this - we’re due to travel for a friends wedding soon and will all be sharing a family room in the hotel. I’m on mat leave so budget doesn’t stretch to two rooms, and DHs snoring is considerably worse than it used to be as he’s put on a bit of weight over the last couple of years. Do any of you have any strategies to help me cope with three nights sharing with a very loud snorer?! Will have white noise on for DC and I’ll take ear plugs but I can’t wear really heavy duty ones because of the baby and I don’t know what else to try; I find the sound of snoring makes me irrationally angry and I’m really worried already that I’ll spend the whole weekend away tired & grumpy. Not sure what response I’m after really short of a miracle cure, maybe I’ll just have to LTB in pursuit of a peaceful nights sleep.

OP posts:
123rd · 17/01/2023 15:19

How long are you away for?

123rd · 17/01/2023 15:20

Sorry , just seen 3 nights
What about those nose strips? Make sure he sleeps on his side
Dig him in the ribs when it gets bad

underneaththeash · 17/01/2023 15:32

Go by yourself?

Get him to lose weight and see GP

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Bellabelloo · 17/01/2023 15:33

I feel your pain! Exactly the same situation here. I spent 15 years with broken or no sleep as my OH's snoring kept me awake. When I had DS1 and just snippets of sleep here and there I ended up moving to the spare room as I couldn't waste any precious sleep time being disturbed by snoring. And I haven't looked back. Holidays and overnight stays are difficult. He wears a gum guard thing that brings his jaw forward and I wear strong ear plugs. We were away over New Year and I couldn't hear the loud music outside or the fireworks as my earplugs drowned it out, but his snoring seems to reverberate through the bed, via my ear plugs and into my ears. Twin beds pushed together works best for me as the snoring doesn't reverberate through the same mattress. I get angry too as it feels so unfair knowing that they are in a lovely deep sleep while you spend all night awake and rubbish the following day.

Miala · 17/01/2023 15:38

Maybe out of budget but you could consider booking a separate room just for the middle night, to give you a break.

Him having a high pillow can help a bit, and yes to twin beds. He could read in the bathroom to give you a chance to get to sleep first.

Original poster
SnoringPains · 17/01/2023 15:38

Twin beds is a good idea! The reverberation is as bad as the sound because there’s no way to drown it out! I just really want to enjoy the trip because we’ve not been away since before Covid. He’s seen the GP, been tested for sleep apnea & also had surgery a few years ago which didn’t improve anything. He’s trying to lose the weight but is half hearted at best in his attempts. Anyone who’s considering marrying a snorer, I don’t care how nice they are otherwise, don’t do it 😭😂

OP posts:
creamwitheverything · 17/01/2023 17:29

Has he been checked out for sleep apnea? I was the same as him by the sounds of it and I was diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apneoa , I now have a fabulos machine,sleep soundly and no snoring in the same bed again as my dh. I would suggest looking into this in the first instance,It could save your mental health if not your marriage..yep mine was at that level.All is good now again.

Original poster
SnoringPains · 17/01/2023 20:19

creamwitheverything · 17/01/2023 17:29

Has he been checked out for sleep apnea? I was the same as him by the sounds of it and I was diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apneoa , I now have a fabulos machine,sleep soundly and no snoring in the same bed again as my dh. I would suggest looking into this in the first instance,It could save your mental health if not your marriage..yep mine was at that level.All is good now again.

He saw the GP last year who said they didn’t think it was sleep apnea based on a few questions - I disagree and am sure it is that but we’re still waiting on an appointment with the specialist sleep clinic, apparently the waiting list is about 2 years at the moment though. It sounds terrible but I hope it is sleep apnea so he can have a CPAP machine and we can share a bed again!

OP posts:
CalistoNoSolo · 17/01/2023 20:31

Divorce. It's the only thing that really works. Other than that, can he sleep somewhere cheap elsewhere, even if its just one night?

creamwitheverything · 17/01/2023 20:32

Go back and persist with your GP it has transformed our life my diagnosis,not only mine but my dhs too. I was sure we were ending but with the proper diagnosis and my fabulous machine we are back on track and our relationship is back stronger and much better although my mask is not the height of bedtime fashion it has helped so much. My snoring shook the house and I dont do it at all now. I wish you both well

Landlubber2019 · 17/01/2023 20:38

Another sleep apnea sufferer here, it can't be diagnosed without a proper sleep study . Refer back to your GP as the risks of sleep apnea are hugely under reported !

Miala · 17/01/2023 21:26

It sounds like the GP has already referred him on. The few questions was probably the screening but if he's waiting on the clinic they must have referred him.

But sometimes it is "just" snoring. These days we use Airbnb and get a 3 bed. I appreciate that might be difficult at some weddings, but for any other travel it's usually fine.

rookiemere · 17/01/2023 21:31

Separate beds and wear the heavy duty earplugs.
You're all in the same room so someone is bound to hear it if baby starts crying
If it gets really bad you could move a mattress to bathroom so bring eye shades as well.

Shunkleisshiny · 17/01/2023 21:35

My husband uses a stop snoring mouthguard from Amazon £8, and also uses a Neti Pot before bed to clear his sinuses.
Would your husband use anything like this? It works for my husband, and stops me from causing him bodily harm!

mewkins · 17/01/2023 21:37

Get him to sleep in the car? Only half joking. I feel your pain x

MilkshakesBringAllTheCoosToTheYard · 17/01/2023 21:45

Shunkleisshiny · 17/01/2023 21:35

My husband uses a stop snoring mouthguard from Amazon £8, and also uses a Neti Pot before bed to clear his sinuses.
Would your husband use anything like this? It works for my husband, and stops me from causing him bodily harm!

This - DH had one of the mouthguards for two years pre getting his CPAP (Covid delay) and while the CPAP is better, the mouthguard did make a difference.

BackIntoTheSun · 17/01/2023 21:48

I am in a similar situation OP. DH snores and can't use earplugs cos of the baby monitor. At home we sleep in separate rooms but holidays and when we have family to stay at Christmas then I struggle so much to sleep!

Rosiestraws · 17/01/2023 21:55

SnoringPains · 17/01/2023 15:38

Twin beds is a good idea! The reverberation is as bad as the sound because there’s no way to drown it out! I just really want to enjoy the trip because we’ve not been away since before Covid. He’s seen the GP, been tested for sleep apnea & also had surgery a few years ago which didn’t improve anything. He’s trying to lose the weight but is half hearted at best in his attempts. Anyone who’s considering marrying a snorer, I don’t care how nice they are otherwise, don’t do it 😭😂

Just jumped on to say I sympathise and feel your pain! I had an ex who snored and the anger it caused (along with his attitude towards it - that I should consider getting sleeping pills rather than him go to the Dr to get checked out etc!) was one of the reasons we broke up! It's something about the rhythm of it too that would cause serious stress/maybe when anxiety in me! You'd be waiting in the gap between breaths/snoring for the snore to start again as they breath in and out and I was on edge unable to relax. Ugh you have massive sympathy and I am genuinely thankful I didn't marry my ex 🤣

Agree with others who say to see if he can stay awake and let you get to sleep first and also take all the ears plugs etc and have him wake for the baby (and wake you if needed) rather than worry for that...

Newlifefortyplus · 17/01/2023 22:01

mewkins · 17/01/2023 21:37

Get him to sleep in the car? Only half joking. I feel your pain x

I was thinking the same 😀

Could you go for fewer nights and get 2 rooms?

sofarequired · 17/01/2023 22:10

He loses the weight. That cured my snoring husband!

SheilaFentiman · 17/01/2023 22:14

Put in the ear plugs and let him wake for the baby! Or your older child will and will wake you.

Kindlethefourth · 17/01/2023 22:45

I sought private treatment last year as couldn't cope with a camp bed in the lounge any longer whilst on an nhs list. Found out my soft palette is far lower than it should be and I have really enlarged tongue base. The perfect storm for snoring was what consultant said. The only thing that has had a huge significant difference was a mouthguard but a special mandibular adjustment device from the dentist which cost £300. Very hard to sleep in it without gagging but used mind over matter to keep it in and the results were amazing. £300 was cheaper than converting the garage to a bedroom which was a real possibility for us. I still snore but am getting to know what else affects it too such as alcohol, late caffeine and eating late. I use a snore app too and my scores have come down from the hundreds to often under 10 nowadays.

Miala · 17/01/2023 23:13

That's interesting @Kindlethefourth . Was that an ENT consultant? Sorry that's prob a stupid question.

One more tactic sprang to mind OP. Align your breathing with the snoring, if it's regular. It can trick your brain into thinking the noise is coming from you, and so tuning it out a bit. Your brain ignores sounds from inside you, like your heartbeat, all the time.

Anna713 · 17/01/2023 23:24

I take nytol for the occasional night I have to sleep in the same bed as my snoring husband. I use heavy duty ear plugs as well. It definitely helps but I'm not sure if it would be OK for you if you need to hear your baby. Can your husband not get up to the baby as it's his fault you need to take these measures? ( I realise the poor man can't help it) Also could he not take the children for an hour or two during the day so that you can catch up with some sleep if you've had a disturbed night.

Babymamamama · 17/01/2023 23:31

I’ve now split with my snorer but back in the day when we had to take holidays etc together I’d always insist on air bnbs cottages lodges etc so I could escape from his interminable snoring. The one occasion we went somewhere where we absolutely had to do a hotel stay I insisted on a separate bedroom. Guess it all explains why the relationship failed.
Can’t you book an aparthotel or something with more than one room?