So upset by horrendous car accident near my house

[Woodhouse23]

i've NC for obvious reasons as this is very very local to me.

On Friday at 4.15pm an 11-yr-old girl was hit by a speeding car just round the corner from my house.

The little girl is still in a critical condition in hospital. The driver has been arrested.

I am just devastated by this - I keep imagining the parents getting that phone call. My daughter is 12 yrs old and also started secondary school this year and walks home at the same time and route, as do hundreds of others (loads of secondary schools round here). It's only the start of their 2nd term at school so it's still a bit nerve wracking waiting for her to get home, and the roads round here are busy and dangerous.

I am not religious but I am sending absolutely every thought and wish to the little girl and her parents, and just hoping so hard that she pulls through.

www.hamhigh.co.uk/news/23254677.girl-11-hospital-car-crash-friern-barnet/

www.mylondon.news/news/north-london-news/friern-barnet-live-updates-schoolgirl-25976134

Awful.There is some horrendous driving on the roads these days.
Please God this young girl pulls through x

So awful, hope she pulls through

thank you both xx

What sort of psychopath speeds down a residential street at dusk with hundreds of school children around on their way home?

I was also upset by that when I saw it in the local news, OP. There’s so much horrendous driving round here - I was nearly run over on a zebra crossing the other day, when a minicab driver overtook the bus that had stopped to let people cross, and drove round the traffic island on the wrong side of the road.

I really hope that poor girl recovers.

It's awful, I hope she pulls through ok. My daughter is the same age, I worry too.

It was a horrendous accident (I am not far away either) but I don't think it's normal to be as upset about it as you are. Is there something else going on in your life maybe?

@SomethingNastyInTheBallPool I agree, there is terrible driving round here - so many smashed in barriers/fences/bollards - and road rage. That junction is particularly awful.

@Lockheart It happened within about a minute's walk from my house and at the same time and location (more or less) that my daughter, who's the same age, walks home. I don't think there's anything strange about me being really shaken up and upset by it. They haven't named the girl or her family, we may even know them. (Also this isn't AIBU, I just wanted to share some feelings and reach out to others who might feel the same way)

Poor child. There isn't enough punishment for idiotic drivers.

I think its understandable to be upset, especiallywith a similar aged child. I live near a Primary, Secondary and College (so there are teenagers out all day), there are massive signs about it being a school zone... and people still drive like arseholes. The lollipop lady has even been driven at.

Absolutely awful Hope the young girl makes a good recovery Family must be distraught.
Unfortunately the creatures who drive so dangerously are not usually on community social media etc
We have some absolute tools who drive around here locally and they couldn't care less !
Best wishes to you 💐

Unfortunately there is a fine line between genuinely upset at something horrible happening to a stranger which most people will have empathy and sympathy with and a morbid interest called grief hijacking where someone will identify with a tragedy because of a tenuous link with their own lives.

In this instance the op is upset as she does live very near the scene where it happened and does have a child of near enough the same age and her feelings are more of that it could have happened to her own child.

I don't think that's fair or appropriate to be asking if OP has other stuff going on, but of an implication there. It's normal to be upset with something so horrible happening literally round the corner.

These things are always worse because it just shouldn't happen. Far too many dickhead drivers. There was an accident recently near me, a boy crossing the road to go to school, ran over and killed, hit and run too. It's horrendous, a life wiped out and many more who are left behind have had theirs destroyed.

thanks for explaining. you are right, this isn't grief hijacking or a tenuous link with my life. It's extremely close to home in every respect. And there's a very real chance we might know the family so just horrifying in every way.

Thank you.

You are absolutely right, it's the fact that it was so avoidable and caused by a criminally selfish driver - it's called an accident but this absolute was driving far too fast at dusk down a road with hundreds of children walking home in dark uniforms. He has been arrested and charged, but that's no consolation if it is your child or friend who is hit.

I'm so so sorry to hear about the boy killed near your home. It is the most senseless and awful tragedy.

It's getting worse on the roads, I'm sure. Not far from where I live there was an accident with two cars. Found out this morning that the mother and child both died and the driver of the other car has been arrested.
Now their family and friends have to go through so much grief because some idiot though they were cool by putting their foot down.

Hope you're doing ok OP, these things are shocking and play on our minds when they happen so close. It's easily dismissed if you don't live nearby, it's an "other place" thing, but when it happens close by it really shakes you up.

When I was a teenager we lived right on a busy A-road. A girl was knocked down by a car literally outside our front gate, at the bottom of our steps. She was the same age as me (went to a different school). She survived with cuts and a broken leg, but 30+ years later and I still think about her, lying in the road and screaming in pain, my mum and next door neighbour scrambling to help and comfort her.

We are only human, we are affected by these things, we empathise and sympathise.

Sending positive energy to that girl and her family, I hope she pulls through this and recovers.

My son is in his 20s now. On the day he started secondary school a lad in the year above him was knocked off his bike riding to school by a stolen speeding car and died a few hours later. The driver was caught a few days later. I just couldn't get the lad out of my head. The first day back to school in September and... just gone. He's still often in my thoughts when I see children returning to school after the holidays.

I think it's because road accidents are just so preventable and often happen to simple driver error that it feels so tragic. If you have dc around the same age and you're sending them off to school daily it's hard not imagine that it could have been your child.

@SingingSands thank you for your understanding. Yes, it definitely makes a difference when it's right on your doorstep, in more ways than one.

@Shekissedagirlandshelikedit How absolutely horrible and awful, that poor b boy and his family. it's every parent's nightmare. My daughter only has a short walk to school but has to cross a couple of big roads with no proper crossings (and as many posts on here have pointed out, even a proper crossing is no help if drivers are speeding/drunk/ignore it).

@Runningoncoffeealone such a waste of life, for nothing

I totally understand how you feel OP.
Just before Christmas a 14 year old was killed by a speeding driver outside a school near us. We then found out that is was our neighbour's son. (a couple of doors down). We didn't know them well, but he was the same age as my dd and they played together as kids.

Ever since I find myself at moments just caught up in that - what if... moment. My heartreally goes out to them, I cannot imagine what it must be like.

Then it turns out that the driver was racing for a haridressing appointment. She had already knocked over a cyclist, and then continued and knocked down and killed this lad.

So angry.

www.fbwra.org/issues/friern-barnet-traffic-scheme/

Within this group there was support for reducing vehicle speeds and volumes but varying views on the acceptability of measures to address these issues. The use of 20 mph zones and improved crossing points had most support, but these have been ignored in favour of the use of one ways, banned turns and filters, which was one of the lowest scoring proposals, yet is at the heart of what is proposed, even though, as the Report itself notes (page 15) “ it’s important to note that the wording of the question left the exact scope of change very open”- thus there was actually no consultation by Sustrans on the acceptability of the Scheme as set out in the Report.

Think you must be in the same town as me as it’s sounds like a very similar accident .I had heard rumours about the hairdresser appointment but didn’t know if it was true or social media rumours being spread .Very tragic accident 😢

Thank you @Tamarindtree for the info.. Do you also live locally?

They have cut the speed limit to 20 on the main road (though many drivers ignore it) but all the residential streets including mine are 30, which doesn't help. People really put their foot down along Buxted road and along FBL.

I think the drivers causing these deaths should be treated in the same way as those who kill by stabbing or punching.it's a complete lack of care for human life but the legal consequences are trivial so some people just don't give a shit.

So horrible, i absolutely understand that it must freeze you with horror when it comes into your mind. Your poor neighbours.

town S? School was N.H?

The hairdressers thing was in the paper, so slightly more confirmed than social media.

Honestly, road with a big secondary school, 8:30 am kids everywhere, both sides of the road and crossing at the crossing, and you drive at speed and plough straight across the crossing when kids are crossing the road.
Just cannot get my head around the mentality of that driver.
And you would think that having JUST knocked a cyclist off their bike, they would be shaken and slow down, but no.

@PuttingDownRoots

There isn't enough punishment for idiotic drivers.

Problem is lack of enforcement. Punishment is actually often OK when someone is convicted after causing an accident. The real problem that if there isn't an accident, the driver has virtually zero risk of being prosecuted as the police are mostly absent and even if they happen to see bad driving, they'll often just ignore it.

There was a time that all police would stop a car if driving badly, but these days it seems that only designated traffic patrols do it and there are VERY few of those just driving around these days as they're usually engaged on specific "incentives" if they're not at an accident scene. Other patrols, such as local station patrol officers, dog vans, etc., just ignore driving issues. I'm not sure if it's an official ruling or whether they've taken to just "doing their own job" and not other kinds of police work.