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Original poster

Job dilemma

29 replies

Yuja · 17/01/2023 10:37

I have a bit of a job dilemma (although I fully recognise that I am in a lucky position).

Current job: WFH pretty much all the time, it's a little boring but my colleagues and boss are absolutely lovely. I have 2 DC in years 3 and 5 at a local state primary and wfh means there are never any issues with school picks ups/drop offs and me and DH can get them to their clubs and activities too. The company I work for is a small business so pension, sick days etc. are all lowest statutory amounts. I get paid £36k per year. Although I am not super challenged I am quite happy, and it all works very well around family life. DH is very equal but he does work abroad once every 6 weeks or so, and then it's all down to me.

Offered job: Head of Department in a prep school (no boarding). I used to be a teacher abroad, loved it, but took a job on return in a state school and hated it so haven't taught for a 18 months. I said if I went back it would be to a private school - saw this and applied not even expecting an interview. Did an interview last week and was offered the job today. Gorgeous school, lovely small classes, higher pay, decent pension, 18 weeks holiday (!), the job will be a bit of challenge as the department needs a bit of an overhaul but I've done that before. Downside is I need to be in school from 8-5, sometimes later for a club or something. My children go to a rural state primary where the breakfast club and after school clubs are not every day and the breakfast club does not start early enough. I don't know how we would deal with this, and it would also be harder to get them to their clubs and activities, although I know my mum would help out. The school does offer a substantial discount for staff children which is 1 option, but as it only goes up to year 8 I'm not sure what I would do with them then as I can't afford full fees on a private high school.

So I guess I'm asking what you would do - stick with the job that is easier for family life or take the challenge and somehow make the logistics work.

OP posts:
Tamarindtree · 17/01/2023 10:41

How would you make it work though?

You need another person to take your children to school and back.

As much as the job sounds like something you want to do, unless you white someone else then I can’t see how you will make it work.

orangegato · 17/01/2023 10:56

I want a WFH job and would take a pay cut to do so. Go for it I’ll have yours!

Original poster
Yuja · 17/01/2023 10:57

When my DH is in the UK he could be flexible enough for drop offs and some pick ups, and I could use the after school club sometimes. It's when he is not in the UK a few times a year where it would be really tricky, especially mornings. But the likelihood of at least some of those trips falling in the schools holidays is fairly high

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Original poster
Yuja · 17/01/2023 10:58

orangegato · 17/01/2023 10:56

I want a WFH job and would take a pay cut to do so. Go for it I’ll have yours!

😂

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Original poster
Yuja · 17/01/2023 10:58

WFH has a lot of advantages for sure .

OP posts:
Ineedwinenow · 17/01/2023 11:05

Stay where you are, you’re happy, have an ok salary, flexible and a lovely team! I can guarantee that as well as the hours, the school environment will be very challenging and may or may not prove to be a tough unhappy working environment for you, and let’s not forget the challenging personalities of some teachers ( there’s always one in every school) so you may not gel with the other teachers, there’s a lot to be said for happiness at work, you spend longer with work colleagues than with your own family so if you WFH , have a great time that make work bearable then I’d definitely stay where I am ( obviously if you need more pay due to cost of living then you have to take the other job but only if it’s an emergency)

Original poster
Yuja · 17/01/2023 11:10

The pay wouldn't work out as that much more tbh because I'll have to pay wrap around care and extra fuel which I current save on. But obviously would get better pension contributions and a lot more holiday time with my DC.

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Milkand2sugarsplease · 17/01/2023 11:15

Don't fox what isn't broken.

I work flexibly in a school and there is no way on earth I would trade it for a job where I gave myself childcare/school/club/wraparound worries...

If children were older and you were coming out of the taxi phase or needing wraparound care for children then "maybe' but not right now.

Pythonesque · 17/01/2023 12:00

IF the school is one you could see your children thriving in, and their staff fee discount is good enough that it would feel affordable, then I would consider talking to the school about where their pupils go for senior school, and whether they find that pupils who need them can get good bursaries. Or, if they are also commonly going on to good local state schools. That would give you fuller information to base your decision making on.

Original poster
Yuja · 17/01/2023 12:06

I asked about destination schools and it was largely onto nearby private schools in year 9 - some students left in year 7 to join state schools but not many.

I think we would fall into the bracket of not getting much by way of a bursary as we earn a decent amount between us (but definitely not enough to fund DC through private schools)

I do see the argument for not fixing what isnt broken, I just wonder about my prospects once the DC are older and don't need me for taxis etc so much.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yuja · 17/01/2023 12:07

But on the other hand neither of them are particularly thriving at their school for different reasons, and I think they would both love this school even if it was for a few years only.

OP posts:
Radiatorvalves · 17/01/2023 20:09

I’d say go for it. You’ll make it work. The pension is good, and most importantly it sounds like the children might benefit. They can always move back into the state system.

Original poster
Yuja · 17/01/2023 20:26

Thanks for your thoughts everyone. I said I'd ring with my decision in the morning so I've got some thinking to do tonight. The school offers a 17% pension contribution versus 3% from my current employer, which is quite a big pull factor but I don't want my family to be under stress and strain

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Harissaontoast · 17/01/2023 20:32

I think you should do it. You sound like you want it. Don't count yourself out of your career.

Your DH also needs to be putting his mind to how to make the logistics work. Sounds like you've got a 2 main options:

  1. Put the kids in your new school. I don't think it matters it's only until year 8- can't they just make the transition to state secondary at the normal time? You're doing it to resolve a childcare issue, not to commit to long term private schooling.

Or

  1. Get an after school nanny and leave them where they are. Do you have Koru Kids in your area? Maybe not if you're rural. This will need to be every day unless your DH can commit to a regular 1 or 2 days where he always collects and drops off. I would get something regular rather than constantly be trying to patch things together which will be uber stressful.

Travel is a pain- I travel and DH has to do all the heavy lifting those weeks and sometimes uses leave to make it work. You won't be able to do that so it needs to be water tight.

Look after yourself financially and professionally- you never know what's going to happen in the future.

hot2trotter · 17/01/2023 20:34

I'd stick with the WFH job to suit my family and all of our lives, but it sounds very much like you want the school job.

Original poster
Yuja · 17/01/2023 20:37

hot2trotter · 17/01/2023 20:34

I'd stick with the WFH job to suit my family and all of our lives, but it sounds very much like you want the school job.

I would like the school job if I had nothing else to consider, but that's not the case once there are DC!

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NuffSaidSam · 17/01/2023 20:39

Personally, I'd stay in the current job until the children are in high school and then look for something else. There will always be teaching jobs, will you find a other job like the one you have now?

But you clearly want the new job. Go for it. You can make it work.

HeyThereDelilahhh · 17/01/2023 20:39

With the new job, don’t forget about the money you’ll save during school holiday periods if you’re off and don’t need to pay for holiday clubs or childcare! So while you might need to pay for help term time, it might even out based on what you might have to pay during holidays in your existing job too.

Topee · 17/01/2023 21:07

Will those be your actual hours or will reality mean you’re there longer. I know a couple of people that are support staff in schools and they work many additional hours just the same as teachers do. One friend barely sees her children during the week as a result.

How would you feel about no longer doing school runs and missing school activities with your children?

MeridaBrave · 17/01/2023 21:27

The payrise would have to be enough to cover someone to help when you or your DH can’t manage. And then you need to actually find the person.

Could put them in the school up to end year 6 and then move to a state school and presumably travel there on their own.

Jijithecat · 17/01/2023 21:49

I'm normally super cautious but I'd go for it. If you're already finding your current job a little boring It's time for a change.

SatInMySpottyOnesie · 17/01/2023 21:55

Ask yourself … if the role were offered to some one else in 24 hours, how would you feel?
gutted?… you should take it
not arsed…. Stay put

what does your husband think ?

thewrongcolourcup · 18/01/2023 06:18

Private school teacher here. I’d wait a few years and then take the job. I’ve missed so much of my children’s lives outsourcing childcare to au pairs and nannies to make my job work. I pull a hood income but at what cost? I’m exhausted and spread thinly and have to miss so many events they are in.
it’s very flattering getting a job offer, but you don’t have to take it right now. Acknowledge it and thank them and realise your options for a few years time.
even if your kids come with you it’s still hard and a huge cost of time and fees.
stay put in your job, other opportunities will arise in schools as we have a recruitment crisis that isn’t going away.

MidnightEagle · 18/01/2023 16:22

I would be inclined to stay in your WFH job until the DC are older. Myself and DH can't work from home and after school, holiday care and sickness are a real struggle. I'm always envious of those that can WFH!

TokyoSushi · 18/01/2023 16:27

I'd stay where you are for now. Your current job sounds very mine, mundane, but perfect for family life. I see people all the time absolutely tying themselves in knots trying to sort out children's logistics in an inflexible job and it's an enormous benefit not to have to do that.

The DC are only young for a few years really and then you're freed up!