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Original poster

Do you read with your 9 year old every night ?

39 replies

Annabey · 16/01/2023 13:34

If so for how long ?

work issues I’ll health etc have all ment we’ve been slacking for the past 6 months
feel
so guilty

child is at greater depth with reading and writing so at least not fallen behind through us

OP posts:
Original poster
Annabey · 16/01/2023 13:43

feely really shitty about this

OP posts:
Coffeellama · 16/01/2023 13:45

We read a bedtime story, as in I read to him. But he reads by himself every day as per schools instruction, he doesn’t need to read out loud to me anymore for school.

Outtasteamandluck · 16/01/2023 13:47

No.

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9 year olds Families
WaddleAway · 16/01/2023 13:48

No, my 9 year old reads to herself for half an hour before she goes to sleep, as well as probably another hour throughout the day. I haven’t read with her regularly for a couple of years. She’s quite an ‘advanced’ reader (reading age of 14 in her last report) and she likes to just get on with it. Every now and then she asks for one of her old favourite bedtime stories to be read to her, in which case I oblige! Probably only every couple of months though.

Somethingsnappy · 16/01/2023 13:52

I haven't read to my 9 year old dd for quite a long time now! She much prefers to read to herself, and does every day. Last time I offered, she just said she'd rather read to herself. I was just the same at her age. My 7 year old ds is the same. He'll listen in on a story I'm reading to my dd(4) sometimes, but prefers reading to himself. They are both very strong readers.

LucyWhipple · 16/01/2023 13:52

We read a bedtime story every night. That’s a total non negotiable for me and has happened every night since birth. Now they read some, I read some, how much & how long varies. It’s just part of our bedtime routine. I’m not saying that to make you feel bad or because I’m smug, just to explain that it is a thing that we do every night because it’s so core to our routine.

When they were younger and reading phonics books we definitely didn’t manage that every night - more like 3-4 times a week - but the bedtime stories happen always. I guess at some point they won’t want them anymore but I’ll hang on to them as long as I possibly can!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 16/01/2023 13:54

8yo is read to at bedtime - sometimes he reads to us. 11yo is offered us reading to her at bedtime, sometimes she says yes sometimes no.

Both read to themselves after being put to bed as that's all there is to do til they fall asleep.

teapotfullofsquash · 16/01/2023 13:55

8 & 10 year old here just read to themselves now. Occasionally 8yo will read some pages out loud to the dog. Both their reading is at greater depth so I don't worry too much about reading with them.

GideonSmideon · 16/01/2023 14:01

Yes, mainly because it's quiet time for both of us and also because their class is so competitive with reading records- various rewards for milestones etc. we tend to read a chapter ish in turn.

Changechangychange · 16/01/2023 14:02

At 9 I’d expect them to be reading independently, assuming no problems with dyslexia or SEN. I’d facilitate that by taking them to the library etc, and setting time aside for them to read, but I wouldn’t stand over them to directly supervise.

I do read with my six year old most nights (he reads one short book, I read two longer, more interesting books, unless he is really tired in which case I just read to him). But he needs help/correction still. We didn’t in reception because he basically couldn’t read so it was boring for everyone (we practised letters/counting etc during the day). But we’ve seen a faster improvement since we started doing it.

DysmalRadius · 16/01/2023 14:07

LucyWhipple · 16/01/2023 13:52

We read a bedtime story every night. That’s a total non negotiable for me and has happened every night since birth. Now they read some, I read some, how much & how long varies. It’s just part of our bedtime routine. I’m not saying that to make you feel bad or because I’m smug, just to explain that it is a thing that we do every night because it’s so core to our routine.

When they were younger and reading phonics books we definitely didn’t manage that every night - more like 3-4 times a week - but the bedtime stories happen always. I guess at some point they won’t want them anymore but I’ll hang on to them as long as I possibly can!

How old are your kids? Mine was frustrated by the pace of being read to aloud by the time he was about 7 or 8 so we'll discuss the books we're reading but i haven't read to him for a while. I miss it, but I don't think he does...!!

VenusClapTrap · 16/01/2023 14:09

My youngest is 10 and I haven’t read to him for years. As soon as he was an independent reader he wanted to read on his own so that was that. He’s a complete bookworm.

FourTeaFallOut · 16/01/2023 14:10

I read to him every night before bed, only for about ten minutes. He continues reading after that. It's more of a bedtime ritual than anything else.

eurochick · 16/01/2023 14:10

I read to my 8 year old every night at bedtime but she doesn't read aloud to us anymore. She reads to herself a lot (and would do more if we didn't insist on lights out so she can sleep).

Mafelicent · 16/01/2023 14:12

I don't listen to mine read ever. He does usually listen to a bedtime story but I think that's only because he has younger siblings. I wouldn't worry about it all.

ScatteredMama82 · 16/01/2023 14:13

Not at all, my DS8 reads himself in bed every night but I haven't read to him for ages.

JJJSchmidt · 16/01/2023 14:13

Dd is 8 and i love books so assumed that i would be reading to her for years yet, but she much prefers to read to herself. I try to make myself available during her pre-bed books fir any discussions about what things mean etc

StillWantingADog · 16/01/2023 14:15

I have a 9 yo and 7 yo.
I honestly can’t remember the last time I read with my 9yo. However he hasn’t asked, reads by himself, is happy.

my 7yo likes me to read with him but I’m not able to every night and he is ok with that. I probably do 2/3 times a week. He is a bit of a mummy’s boy though (9 yo is not)

theworldhasgoneinsane · 16/01/2023 14:22

I read to my 9 year old before bed most nights. But I don't think it's just about the reading, this is our time before she goes to sleep without her younger sister who demands a lot of attention!

She also reads to herself everyday

WhenIAmOldIShallWearPurple · 16/01/2023 14:32

DC are 10 and 7. We read to them each night, DH taking in turns to do each child. They actually get upset if they miss out because of a late evening trip for example.

They both then read for an hour or so in their rooms before going to sleep. I sit with the youngest so she can ask for help with words if needed.

10 year old had a reading age of 14 when assessed last year. He devours novels, and has read around a dozen since Christmas. He still loves us to read to him though. I'll stop when he wants me to stop.

DD is in year 2 and had been a free reader since the start of term, whilst everyone else (according to her) in the class is still on phonics books. Again, I'll stop reading to her when she wants me to stop.

I started reading to them both when they were newborns to get them into a bed time routine, and it's stuck. Though the two years when DS wanted the same picture book every night was a bit of a drag!

Mariposista · 16/01/2023 14:45

No, haven't done since 6/7 tbh. My kid likes reading on her own (and reads a lot so not worried about that).

DelurkingAJ · 16/01/2023 14:51

We read to DS1 (10, Y5) most nights, we don’t if he has a late club. We’ve only stopped him reading to us this school year. He has been greater depth throughout but I still reckon that there was one word a night he didn’t understand even though he could read it just fine (eg use of ‘common’ as an insult rather than just meaning something that happens lots).

He devours books reading to himself but we enjoy reading to him and it tends to be stuff that he needs more context to fully understand (DH is currently reading him ‘Unseen Academicals’).

Notsa · 16/01/2023 14:57

I read to my 9 year old a couple of times a week as he enjoys being read to but most of his reading is independent.

My older two (now adults) hated reading and have never voluntarily picked up a book. I think some of this was 'forced' reading as school was so competitive about it and it really turned them away from it and so I have been much more relaxed with my youngest. Maybe pure coincidence but it doesn't seem like a chore for him the way it was with the other two.

soberfabulous · 16/01/2023 15:11

Yes we read every night. I'm currently reading the last Harry Potter to DD (9) and DH is reading Danny the champion of the world.

I'm a voracious reader (at least two books a week) so DD gets a love I books from me.

Don't beat yourself up about it. Could you start sneaking in 10 minutes at bedtime. It's such a joy and I really notice DD's vocabulary explode when we're reading.

WaddleAway · 16/01/2023 15:17

soberfabulous · 16/01/2023 15:11

Yes we read every night. I'm currently reading the last Harry Potter to DD (9) and DH is reading Danny the champion of the world.

I'm a voracious reader (at least two books a week) so DD gets a love I books from me.

Don't beat yourself up about it. Could you start sneaking in 10 minutes at bedtime. It's such a joy and I really notice DD's vocabulary explode when we're reading.

My 9 year old is also a voracious reader, she just reads them to herself. She reads 3-4 books a week, currently ploughing through the Warrior Cats (she’s on series 5 of 6). She’s read all of the Harry Potters twice!
Some children like to be read to (which is lovely and is a nice routine have), some prefer to just read by themselves. My 9 year old doesn’t like being read to as the pace of reading out loud is too slow for her. My 7 year old still likes to be read to.