Bedtime routine for older children - how do you do it?

[ghjklo]

DD recently turned 10 and we've always struggled with a bedtime routine for her. As a LP I'm not backed up with support for this from her dad (who is useless with any routine stuff and pushes back against my changes and routine anyway).

She pushes against being told to get ready for bed, delaying tactics etc.

Eventually she goes into bed but then it's reading time, followed by audio book followed by sleep hypnosis which finally works to get her to sleep. But as she pushes to be allowed later for each stage I struggle to co-ordinate turn off times. It can be super late by the time she sleeps.

How do you measure your timings for bedtimes, do you have alarms or something? As we have so many stages (get ready for bed, get into bed, reading, audio book, hypnosis or boring audio) having four or five alarms and going in seems impractical as I can't keep up with getting up and down so many times!

I realise the routine is complicated but it works for us, I just need a better way of managing it somehow.

Any tips welcome please. thanks!

Does she have a watch?

Our 9yo has family TV 19:00-19:30, read to 19:30-20:00 then reading no later than 21:00. He knows what times things happen and checks his watch.

I have a 10yo DD and there’s no real routine other than going up at 8:55 to brush teeth and get into bed by 9. She can read until 9.15 but I don’t want to hear any noise at all after that. If she pisses about getting out of bed, going into siblings’ bedrooms etc then she gets a game ban the next day.

I have a 10 year old (he has autism and adhd). Our routine on school nights is must be in pjs before 7pm with teeth done so it gives him responsibility to do that or he loses some of his next time which is 7-.7.30 playing quietly in his room with his brother. They like to build lego mostly. Must be tidied up and in to bed for 7.30. Then audio books or reading (or both as he likes to read whilst listening to the book!). I go up at 8 and read him and his brother a story followed by cuddles and a quick one on one chat with each, so by 8.30 it's lights out.
This has worked pretty well for us. He knows if he isn't ready for bed by 7 it is his time he loses out on. Same as when it comes to making sure they have tidied up and are in bed for their own audio/reading books. Puts the responsibility back to them to organise their time as otherwise they loose out.