What would you do to deal with this personality trait?

[RudsyFarmer]

I’m a pretty reasonable, well behaved member of the public bless someone reacts aggressively towards me an my family abd then I turn into a fishwife.

What I want to do in these situations is stay cool, calm and collected. I don’t want to channel Pat Butcher, I’d rather be pithy and cutting. It’s such a primitive instinct and I have to say my mother is the same, so I wouldn’t like to say if it’s nature or nurture.

What could I Google in terms of what’s this is called to try and psychoanalyse myself different.? I do have some trauma in my past where I was vulnerable and didn’t have a voice, so I’m mindful it could be linked to that. I’ve no idea but I want to do better.

*unless someone

You want to learn to be assertive rather than aggressive. It's natural to have to learn the skill now if you didn't have an assertive role model when you were young. You also need to practice techniques to stay calm in that situation- taking deep breaths etc so you can stop and think for a moment and let reason kick in rather than just reacting on instinct.

Get some counselling

What do you mean if someone reacts aggressively towards you or your family?

Today was a road rage incident when a man was angry at me and yelling from his car. I was ready to get out and get in his face. Not one care about my own safety in that situation. I’m straight into fight mode.