You know your drunk when................

[Loobie]

1. You have absolutely no idea where your bag is.

2. You truly believe that dancing with your arms overhead and wiggling
   your bottom while yelling "She Bangs She Bangs" is truly the hottest
   dance move around!!!

3. You've suddenly decided that you want to fight someone and you
   honestly believe that you could do it too.

4. In your last trip to the toilet you realise you now look more like
   Lily Savage than the goddess you were just four hours ago.

5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. kebab on the floor, pick it up and carry on
   eating it.

6. You start crying and telling everyone you see that you love them
   sooooo much.

7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.

8. You've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to
   you.

9. The man you're flirting with used to be your biology teacher.

10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and
    sing
    or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.

11. Your eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so you
    decide to keep them half closed and think it looks exotic .

12. You seem to think that it's a really good idea to get your mates to
    push you down the street in a shopping trolley.

13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving
    you
    just lemonade, but that's just because you can no longer taste the
    vodka.

14. You think you're in bed, but the pillow feels strangely like the
    kitchen floor.

15. You start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the
    WRONG WAY but..."

16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.

17. You're hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

18. You're soooo tired you just sit on the floor (wherever you happen
    to
    be standing)

19. You begin leaving the buttons open on your button flypants to cut
    down on the time you're in the bathroom away from your drink.

20. You take your shoes off because you really believe it's their fault
    that you're having problems walking straight.

You probably laughed at the ones that apply to you.

and the tiolet cubicles seem to get samller the more drunk you get cos you seem to be leaning on the walls more each trip!

ROFL. Yes I can relate to a few of these. Not gonna let on which ones though

You advise another MNer to do it doggy style when it's only half past three in the afternoon - see some other thread I forget the name of

I've just been out to a party and am pleasanlty sloshed [smile)

Ah yes, Suzywong, I see you are, your smile is lopsided

When the toilet becomes a perfect place 2 fall asleep!
When u have 2 try hard 2 find something 2 focus on that is not moving in the room!
Hugging people you barely know!
As you can probably tell, I have been drunk once or twice!!!!

Brilliant Loobie!

You can't distinguish between 'your' and 'you're'
Sorry-can't resist. Stickler for grammar!

How about you know you're old and boring when you fantasise about getting gloriously wrecked at a party, then decide you can't be arsed because the thought of the baby waking you twice in the night for a feed kills the idea stone dead. (Me last night!)

when you decide to have a competition to see who can eat the most raw onions and then wonder why you were sick.

When you stumble up to the police van outside the night club and ask the driver for a cheeseburger and chips ...

Is anyone old enough to remember 'bodies' ... those all in one tops that button up with poppers down below? Yes? Hands up how many people got to the end of a drunken night with the 'body' un popped and flapping outside your jeans because you couldn't be bothered to do it up again after going to the loo??

Ohhhhhh yessssss!
I remember bodies!!

when your in your local club and enter a competition to do sex positions on the stage only to find out that your big pants are on display to the whole crowd,

ohg and its being shown on wide screen all round the club that poor poor bloke that i got teamed up with [blus]

come on more stories please

when you know you've been on a thread and you have to read it, for fear the next day of what you might have written!!!