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Original poster

My kids have an inheritance they can’t access until they’re 30. Is there anything they can do to move it back?

286 replies

lightgreen · 15/01/2023 10:21

My mum left both my teenage kids 40k each.

The will stipulates it should remain in trust until they’re 30.

The executor of the will is her husband (not my dad) and I barely know him. He’s not told me anything about how it is invested and I had to get a copy of the will myself to see what was what because it all felt a bit awkward when he was in bits to talk about money. I’m not really in contact with him - there’s no problem, I’ve just only met him a few times and he lives hundreds of miles away.

Does he have the right to release it early? Would it be rude/wrong/unethical to ask him to overrule what my mum stipulated? Even a few thousand of it would help them so much with university, but asking a stranger for money feels wrong, even if it is theirs. I would love to know if it’s invested - with the time frame I’d hope it was all in stocks with very little bonds and cash, but it’s none of my business. Should they just leave it?

OP posts:
Original poster
lightgreen · 15/01/2023 10:37

Eeksilon this is probably a wise way of thinking about it. It’s how we’ve approached it until now. She died 4 years ago. My eldest is 16 and has just started her A levels so university is suddenly looming, so it’s resurfaced.

OP posts:
Augend23 · 15/01/2023 10:38

I thought leaving it in trust meant it could be used for the person's benefit if the trustee agreed/if it met certain conditions.

So I think you'd need to try and get hold of the conditions of the trust, and I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask the executor/trustee what those are.

40k is a fantastic sum now, but as you are clearly worried about, if it's sitting in cash it won't be the same in 9+ years time. How old are your kids?

itsthefinalcountdown1 · 15/01/2023 10:38

lightgreen · 15/01/2023 10:37

Eeksilon this is probably a wise way of thinking about it. It’s how we’ve approached it until now. She died 4 years ago. My eldest is 16 and has just started her A levels so university is suddenly looming, so it’s resurfaced.

Your child will have to get student loans and a job like others do.

FeinCuroxiVooz · 15/01/2023 10:40

I think it would be better to respect your late mum's wishes.

Humans do not mature as quickly as they think they do and young adults sometimes make really silly decisions. an inheritance at that age can often get frittered away.

your DC should disregard the future inheritance when tackling university and need to live as frugally as they would if there would never be an inheritance. Millions of students get by without huge injections of family cash at this point, and your dc can too.

by the age of 30 they will hopefully have a more settled view of where their career and family life are going, and they can use the £40k then to much more significant effect.

Mindymomo · 15/01/2023 10:41

I think in 4 years, you or your children should have received documents relating to the Trust that has been set up. Enough time has passed to get in touch and ask about the money direct.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 15/01/2023 10:41

If your children are over 18 then they will have to ask the trustees; is this the same person as the executor or someone else? But you will need to start with the solicitor and the executor.

Augend23 · 15/01/2023 10:42

I definitely agree with others on not using for uni if possible btw, but I would be looking at if it could be accessed earlier to use for a house deposit. They might not want to wait til they are 30 to buy if there are other options. I bought at 22 and it will mean my mortgage is paid off more than a decade earlier than others my age because I have benefited from lower house prices so my overpayments have done more. 22 isn't what everyone would choose as I have a much smaller house than others because I bought on a lower salary, but buying at 25-27 when they have had a chance to get a bit further along the career ladder might be a massive benefit.

NoSquirrels · 15/01/2023 10:42

Have your children never been sent any details from the executor that they are beneficiaries of your mum’s will? Did you not talk to her husband about this at any point in the last 4 years?

You definitely need to ask about this. You can’t just assume that all is well because it said this would happen in the will.

lookslikeabombhitit · 15/01/2023 10:42

I'd think long and hard about releasing trust money for uni tbh! That's a deposit for a property or a business start up or other fabulous opportunity sat right there waiting for them at exactly the time they'll want and need it most.

I assume they can access all of the relevant maintenance loans and grants and if they're not doing a properly full time course (i.e. medical/nursing/health etc) then they should have ample time to earn some money on the side. The student loan system is crap but I'd rather pay that back at a lowish rate through my salary than have no lump sum to be able to get on the property ladder.

NoSquirrels · 15/01/2023 10:43

Mindymomo · 15/01/2023 10:41

I think in 4 years, you or your children should have received documents relating to the Trust that has been set up. Enough time has passed to get in touch and ask about the money direct.

Exactly this. You should have received documentation.

burnoutbabe · 15/01/2023 10:44

I'd want the details to kbow exactly what the will said and trust details.

Ie could they pay one child all the money and other none?

Would they consider a release at 28 for a married child buying a house? Or hold it back at 30 for a child who has sat gone to prison for drug dealing?

Knowing the trust rules is important.

LimeCheesecake · 15/01/2023 10:45

Ok 4 years and dcs considering uni, it’s ok to ask. You can say your dcs are planning for uni, they will need details of the trust /how the money is invested before applying for any financial assistance, query if it can be accessed early to cover course fees.

(I know someone who was able to borrow against money held in trust in order to do a higher education course that wasn’t a degree so not funded - but this was over 20 years ago so might not be possible now.)

HeddaGarbled · 15/01/2023 10:45

You need to find out who the trustees of the trusts are. These are not the same as the executor of the will. You’ll have to ask him or the solicitor who the trustees are.

My MIL did the same for her grandchildren, but the trustees agreed to release money early for 2 of the grandchildren: one for a Masters degree and one for a house deposit. The trustees were the 2 children of the deceased so parent/aunt/uncle of the grandchildren.

NoSquirrels · 15/01/2023 10:45

Did you receive anything from your mum, OP?

olympicsrock · 15/01/2023 10:46

In trust til 30 is a common way of doing it to make sure that the money is not frittered away and also to make sure that the recipient is motivated to make their own way in life.

perhaps just respect your mum’s wishes?

MariahsBaubles · 15/01/2023 10:46

Trustee can agree to release some payments early for educational and other limited purposes. Is your DM's H the trustee or just the executor of the will? Usually the trustee will be someone at a financial institution who makes the actual investments. It might be easier to deal with them directly.

Original poster
lightgreen · 15/01/2023 10:48

II’ve not received any documentation at all. I am on Birthday and Christmas card relations with him - there’s no problem, but I’ve only met him a handful of times. Mum always flew here (Mohamed and mountains solution) and he didn’t really take an interest in being step grandad - he was a committed bachelor until he met my mum in his late 60’s. Nice man, obsessed with steam trains and a bit scared of kids. We hardly know him.

OP posts:
Casilero · 15/01/2023 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

She didn't ask the grieving widow? It's right there in the OP.

You owe @lightgreen an apology.

megletthesecond · 15/01/2023 10:49

30 is a good age. They're less likely to blow it.

WinnieFosterReads · 15/01/2023 10:49

You have a copy of the will. It will include the solicitor's details.
If it is in a trust, there will be a trustee (at least one). That isn't the same as being executer. You would need to liaise with the trustee(s).
If you mean it's not in a trust but the will stipulated it should remain in your mum's estate (eg in a high interest account or investments) and then your DC receive it at certain ages then yy the executer is relevant.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/01/2023 10:49

I don’t think it hurts to ask about where the money is now, what happens if he dies before they turn 30- I wouldn’t ask for the money early though.

Newgirls · 15/01/2023 10:50

I agree leave it.

your kids paying for uni will help them to choose wisely and value the expensive education. I’d also caution against buying too young when they could be renting and being flexible with work, friendship and relationships.

my only concern is the value of 30k will go down in 10 years

Eeksilon · 15/01/2023 10:50

Of course they are starting to think about it, they are approaching a time where they will have freedom and seeing the money signs! 🤑😂 My two (7&9) were left a very small amount by my dear dad "in trust" (with me as it turns out) till they are 18 and they are having a field day spending it in their imaginations and ask at least once a year for "just a bit" for some such yen 😂 she'll get over it when she realises it's just not an option.

I do agree with others though about wanting to be sure it's protected and invested smartly and above all safely .. it's definitely not too soon to be enquiring about that!

Original poster
lightgreen · 15/01/2023 10:51

I didn’t receive anything, no. I didn’t expect to - we’re fine. She split her savings between her grandkids and everything else went to her husband. I have a hand written letter from her written days before she died (I got it months later) saying she trusted him implicitly to leave some of their shared house to us when he goes and is leaning the other half to the bluebell railway apparently! 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
DanceCapital · 15/01/2023 10:52

Ultimately it’s nothing to do with you. When your children reach 18 they can enquire themselves.