I am losing friends and wondering if it's just me with only a handful of close friends?

[Fruitycandle101]

I am feeling a bit down recently, I've lost quite a few close friends over the last few years, some are understandable reasons, for example, one of my friends lost her DH in an awful tragedy, and myself and DH were part of a group formed of couples, that they were part of. It was several years ago now, but my lovely friend has cut us all off, I imagine as a natural response to grief.

Another two friends have really distanced themselves from me, one again I understand our lives our now quite different, I am settled with a dc on the way next month and our interests are now vastly different, and lastly a very old childhood friend of mine, this one probably hurts one of the most as I am not actually sure why. Friend is very good at responding when I message etc but arranging to meet up with her seems so one sided, I felt like it was always me and since I stepped back asking to meet for coffee etc, we simply haven't seen each other. Friend always seems to be out with other friends / inviting them to her house, attending celebrations etc and I'm just not included anymore.

All of the above were very good friends and I've found the transition quite difficult.

I do still have a small handful of very good friends, one is my cousin who I'm very close with despite her living in another country! I'm wondering if this is normal?

Also can I ask how you met your close friends?

I'm hoping with a dc on the way next month I can form some lifelong friends by joining groups etc

Thank you all for reading 😊

Same op unless I made contact.. I got tired it dont hear from her now. Yes you meet mams through the kids too. I have around 2 solid friends thats it. They great

I try to keep making friends at all stages of my life. It's easier to get emotionally closer to someone if you went to school with them or partied with them, but I feel that my more "middle aged" friendships are slow burners but very stable and less drama. I just keep an eye out for anyone that seems nice and then invite them for a coffee/ museum/ walk/ city shopping/ whatever.

I literally got talking to one of my friends when I was taking a picture in the snow and she was walking by commenting on the nice weather, we kept chatting a bit and I asked her phone number for a cup of tea. That was four years ago and we meet up very regularly. I also met two nice women through a hobby group last year, we now go out for dinner each month.

I don't wait long before suggesting to meet up, so it has happened that I met up with someone and then felt a disconnect when I got to know them a bit better, but it's really easy to let things fizzle out immediately if you haven't known them for long.

I think this just happens as time passes unfortunately, as peoples lives change and go in different directions.

Is your life currently on a different path to your friends?

I think you have friends for different life stages. Some of them turn out to be long term, but some are just for the stage you’re at.

School, university, new mum, school, hobby etc. I bet you’ll meet new friends with the baby.

I’m the same. Over last 5 years I’ve lost multiple friends. Partly I think it is just life moving on (children starting school/ careers advancing meaning we have less time), a couple I think just didnt like spending time with us as a couple (I was quite negative/ down when I had PPD) and partly I accept less flakiness/shit from people so I am much more certain about what I will put up with form people.

I think having a baby will open up potential for new friendships (eg meet people at baby group etc). However not all these friendships will last and some will just last as you are all in the same period of life. That’s ok.

I have made some lovely friends recently through a hobby I do. They aren’t what I would call close friends, but they are great to socialise with.

I find I have fewer close friends (never had a proper ‘best friend” as an adult, but more wider friends that I can do things with.