Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

What's "private school energy"?

52 replies

Gymqueenie · 14/01/2023 02:23

On the royal forums there was an in depth discussion about the Middleton's & Pippa's sister in law Vogue William's. A few of the posters described the women as having "that private school energy". What is that? And excuse my ignorance 🤣

OP posts:
Greenfairydust · 14/01/2023 07:43

'Vogue''?

That screams footballers' wives or Towie to me, not ''private school energy''.

iloveburmese3 · 14/01/2023 07:59

drintrouble · 14/01/2023 07:22

Vogue William's 'royal connection' is that she is married to a guy, whose brother is married to someone, whose sister is married to a Royal! This doesn't make her royal.
She doesn't come across as having been privately educated to me at all. More, footballers' wife/Essex Girl vibe. But not from Essex, obviously, because of an accent.

Agreed

newbeggins · 14/01/2023 08:01

I understand it to be that bouncy confidence that you'll take something on and give it a good go. You've not had hard knocks in your life and you've been encouraged to believe you (as much as anyone else) can do it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 14/01/2023 08:05

She looks like a lot of the people I went to school with at a state school.

confusedcentral5 · 14/01/2023 08:15

It's the confidence thing.

Logicpuzzle · 14/01/2023 08:24

drintrouble · 14/01/2023 07:22

Vogue William's 'royal connection' is that she is married to a guy, whose brother is married to someone, whose sister is married to a Royal! This doesn't make her royal.
She doesn't come across as having been privately educated to me at all. More, footballers' wife/Essex Girl vibe. But not from Essex, obviously, because of an accent.

Wow, that's confusing. Do you think I'd get it if I had private school energy? Only joking, yes I think it's confidence and self-belief.

Not all private school are the same though. They're not all Eton.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/01/2023 08:37

TheaBrandt · 14/01/2023 06:35

It will take her into farming?! In our small city the state and private teens mix socially you can’t tell them apart. But lots of middle class professionals send their kids to the single sex stAte schools so they are from similar backgrounds..

I think this is to me? No not at all. I’m meaning the money aspect. Land = ££££. I agree everyone hangs together where we live also regardless of where they are educated. My dd has changed despite this and in year 10 I am seeing her more aligned with the private school kids.

trailrunner85 · 14/01/2023 08:39

Again, confidence. That ability to say things that aren't very insightful or clever, but in a self-assured way that makes people think you're impressive and have a lot to contribute.
You see it a lot in meetings in my sector. People with that sort of public school confidence will talk over others, push to make their points heard, convince the room that they're right - but when you look back on your notes they've said nothing at all of note.

Also a genuine belief that oozes through, that they have worked hard to get to where they are, completely taking their privilege for granted. You see it in Prince Harry's book, when he spends his teen years flitting around Australia and Africa, helping out on farms, doing some building-type projects, etc. Backbreaking work in the heat, woe is me, it was all so "humbling" etc - but then with one phone call he's scooped up some friends and they're having fun hanging out on a river in Botswana. Not exactly the same as having to juggle a real job that pays bills, having caring responsibilities, and so on.

Velvetween · 14/01/2023 08:48

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/01/2023 06:29

My dd has this even though she’s year 10 and only been going for 18 months. I think it’s rubbed off from her friends. Their parents are pretty much all a lot wealthier than us. She has always done a lot of extra curricular and now happy to pretend our family are on apar. It’s a little game really and the truth doesn’t matter to her but it may take her far. I didn’t realise the demographic beforehand but there are a lot of farming families.

“It’s a little game”!!

Are you sitting back and doing nothing while your DD lies about the family wealth to fit in with others? This is a bad habit to form around age 15. Can you not teach her to be proud of who she is and be accepted for that? All kinds of wrong here!!

continueorterminate · 14/01/2023 08:52

Out of interest, doesn't vogue have a degree in something like engineering, specifically bridges? I thought that was surprising. That airplane rant excluded, I thought she came across very well, certainly not like your stereotypical model/ footballers wife type

Thatbigbowinherhair · 14/01/2023 08:56

So, did Vogue go to a private school or not?

Please can someone link the original discussion about her? 🙏

AngelinaFibres · 14/01/2023 09:00

When my husband retired from a large business he volunteered in a national scheme to bring careers ideas/ business knowledge into secondary schools. He did it for 3 years and worked in both private and state schools. The biggest thing for him was the difference in the confidence of the 2 types of children. The private school groups he worked with were no cleverer than the state children but they expected to be listened to. They had no problem with the idea that what they wanted to add to a discussion was valid and important. In the state school group there were children who were fantastic, but absolutely crippled by self doubt. The private school children looked you in the eye and spoke confidently. Some of the state school children could do this but it wasn't a given in the same way as at the private school.They had to do a series of business projects over an academic year. The state school children had just as many brilliant ideas but the schools lacked the facilities to bring it to fruition whilst the private school children could refine their ideas and see them fly because they had the equipment . A very different 'vibe' was how he described it. He found it quite depressing that there was such enormous potential that wasn't being brought out.

confusedcentral5 · 14/01/2023 09:06

@AngelinaFibres that's exactly it.

Decorhate · 14/01/2023 09:13

@Thatbigbowinherhair No according to Wikipedia. She went to a non-fee paying school in Dublin. I am only vaguely aware of her existence & did not know she was Irish.

YogaLite · 14/01/2023 09:31

Somehow they teach confidence and self-authority (maybe not the right word?).

My privately educated ex-dp had a very authoritative way of speaking even when he was talking total BS and he effectively bulldozed over other points of view with his "authority".

He refused to discuss anything but many decisions he made turned out to be wrong on the home ground but he was still giving out advice right left and centre in that authoritative way.

Thesonglastslonger · 14/01/2023 10:13

SD1978 · 14/01/2023 03:46

Confidence and an assumption that things and contacts will work out, not being concerned regarding finances when given opportunities, just being able to take them, knowing your education and lifestyle are solid and will give you every opportunity to achieve.

This

SnackyOnassis · 14/01/2023 10:17

An Irish perspective - she's from a pretty wealthy coastal Dublin suburb and went to a 'good' all-girls Catholic school - adds up to being 'naice'.
Private schooling or fee paying schools generally aren't really very common in Ireland so while she has the glossy confidence of a privileged upbringing, she's still operating with slightly fewer clues to the social niceties that the Middletons etc would have.
Still wouldn't mind being a tenner behind her!

Thesonglastslonger · 14/01/2023 10:20

Interested by someone upthread saying that private schools teach confidence. I think it’s worse than that. All children start off confident, but some environments crush it and some support it. I’ve had children in the state sector (and moved to private) and what I observed is that a bad state school will crush a child’s confidence. Teachers constantly say “Who do you think you are” “wait your turn” “mind your manners” “aren’t you big for your boots”, quiet well-behaved children are ignored while badly behaved kids get all the attention. Aspiration is mocked other than around the exam years when its too late.

Private schools treat children with respect, mostly because the parents are paying customers with time to spare who will be straight on the phone to the head to complain if the teachers are rude. Children’s ideas are listened to with respect and they grow up expecting to be heard. They’re also taught to give presentations on their work regularly.

Of course, a great state school can achieve this too but sadly I’ve never experienced one.

senua · 14/01/2023 10:33

Timetochangetheoil · 14/01/2023 03:37

Oh I don’t get that vibe off her at all! She seems more footballer’s wife vibe to me. Those godawful fabric softener ads…as if she does any laundry!

I personally wouldn’t put her in the same class as Pippa.

I had no idea it was her on the Fairy advert, I assumed that it was Mrs Hinch.
Can you tell that I have no interest in slebs / influencers.Grin

TheaBrandt · 14/01/2023 11:17

Sorry but it’s personality. Everyone assumes Dh from a posh background and went to a public school he didn’t went to a state comp / Cambridge / City parents manual workers.

Oh and I would be concerned not pleased if either of my similar aged teen dds was consistently lying to her peers about our lifestyle. That’s flat out weird.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/01/2023 11:30

It's security, physical and emotional comfort and a sense that the world is full of opportunities, rather than discomfort, insecurity and restriction.

Of course, there are children in all socio economic groups who experience adverse experiences such as illness, SEND, bereavement, abuse or neglect, but the confident, poised and secure ones that are described as having Public School Energy are the ones who have not known a world where those things are absent or could be swept away in an instant. They don't even need to be consciously aware that their needs are going to met - they just are. They know how to say 'big' words because they've heard them used and they're just regular ones - nobody's going to laugh at them for mispronouncing a word they've only ever read or getting ideas above their station for saying 'Oh, absolutely' rather than 'Yeh'. Which means that the possibilities are endless and nobody in their experience is going to 'put them straight' (ie, ask them who the hell they think they are and what on Earth possessed them to imagine that they are worthy of such things) or deliberately knock them down because they're not worthy of such high-faluting notions.

Even something like not doing their homework is down to their choices and actions, rather than not having the equipment, somewhere suitable to do it, being too cold, no internet, a parent that doesn't have the literacy, numeracy or interest in algebra/learning as a whole to facilitate or help with it - it's something that they have power over, which means any punishment for not doing it is a consequence of their actions, not from external circumstances they have no control over. So they have a sense of agency.

It's a life that everybody should have but only a few do. I don't begrudge it them for an instant, but it is easy for it to rankle somewhat when they give away their intrinsic sense of comfort through not understanding this is not the norm when dealing with other people. In their own bubble, there's no reason for this to matter and probably goes some way in explaining how those in the Public Eye can be so distressed/angry when they feel they're being criticised or attacked or things begin to go wrong. They've not had the same experiences - their entire existence is predicated upon their world being a good place.

That's Public School Energy. The world is safe, comfortable and there for them to experience and explore in the knowledge that whatever may happen, it'll all turn out alright in the end. Because that's how it's always been for them and everyone around them.

YogaLite · 14/01/2023 14:44

Which is as it is for BoJo...

astronewt · 14/01/2023 14:48

IME as someone who used to be a psychologist working with businesspeople: a sense of absolute confidence in their welcome everywhere and in their own awesomeness, even when they were actually in themselves fairly mediocre.

Gymqueenie · 16/01/2023 00:07

drintrouble · 14/01/2023 07:22

Vogue William's 'royal connection' is that she is married to a guy, whose brother is married to someone, whose sister is married to a Royal! This doesn't make her royal.
She doesn't come across as having been privately educated to me at all. More, footballers' wife/Essex Girl vibe. But not from Essex, obviously, because of an accent.

Agree with that, she isn't in the same league as Kate or Pippa but she is very discreet where they are concerned & doesn't cash in on the association

OP posts:
Gymqueenie · 16/01/2023 10:57

Thatbigbowinherhair · 14/01/2023 08:56

So, did Vogue go to a private school or not?

Please can someone link the original discussion about her? 🙏

It's on the royal family section of mn "Has anyone met Kate, Pippa or the Middleton's.
Irish posters confirm Vogue did not go to a private school.

OP posts: