Is it possible to stop yourself from dreaming?

[CaraVann]

I have (and have always) had very intense dreams.

Over the last few years the dreams have become even more intense and I often wake up exhausted. I remember most of them vividly.

They often include dramatic scenes such as plane crashes (I am never in the plane, just standing and observing) or disasters like tsunamis. I also dream a lot about being back at school (I am 50 so that was a long time ago) and past jobs and the people from that time.
Some dreams are so intense that I can still remember them years later.

One thing I get every now and then and which frankly leaves me feeling scared and weird all day is this weird dream state where if I wake at my usual time, then snooze back off, I will dream that I have actually woke and got up and start my day etc only I am still ‘stuck’ in my dream! I had it this morning. I woke at my normal 7am but snoozed until 7.30, then got up and opened my curtains and noticed that the mattress had disappeared! I then went to wake up my dd but her bedroom door was all bricked up. I said to myself (in my dream) ‘this isn’t real, wake up’! I then woke and all was normal but I felt so weird and frightened afterwards and an hour and a half later, I still feel unnerved.

I want to stop these weird dreams, they really exhaust me. Like I say, I have had intense dreams most of my life. Dh says he never remembers his dreams, that must be bliss.
How do I stop them? Is it at all possible?

Should say that I eat relatively healthy and exercise every day. I dont eat dairy (so no cheese dreams!), no caffeine or alcohol.

Have you ever done any dream work eg with a therapist? Sometimes dreams can be messages from the unconscious that want your attention.

Sometimes people in dreams can be aspects of yourself that have been repressed and want to be integrated.

The feelings in dreams are often the key to understanding them - eg feeling angry in your dream might mean you’re angry about something in real life, even though the scene/setting might be different.

I’ve had some quite vivid dreams that have turned out to have very understandable meanings relating to my past. Once I understood the meanings and was able to take more control of my life, the dreams went away.

plane crashes (I am never in the plane, just standing and observing) or disasters like tsunamis.

did you grow up in a chaotic house, or parents arguing or stressed, something like that? And how do you feel about your life now? Are there any situations where you feel out of control?

I also dream a lot about being back at school (I am 50 so that was a long time ago) and past jobs and the people from that time.

This could be unprocessed feelings wanting attention - could be interesting to take note of what you’re feeling in the dreams. Google a “feelings wheel” to make sure you’re identifying feelings and not thoughts. Eg are the dreams about situations that you might have felt unsupported in at the time, that might have evoked difficult feelings like embarrassment, shame, anger, confusion, rejection etc?

I had hypnosis for a recurring dream when I was a teen. It was so odd as they said exactly the same to me as my granddad did when I was little... think of your dreams as a TV show, if you don't like what's happening then change the channel.

Now, I have always had crazy dreams, but I do quite enjoy them as it's like a film in my head. My partner says that he doesn't dream, just goes to sleep and then nothing until he wakes. That's so boring.

What medications are you taking if any ?

Following with interest as I could have written your post almost word for word. I always sleep 'well' but wake up exhausted more often than not from having long, intense movie-style dreams that stay with me for ages. I wake up and my head is already buzzing from all that happened in my dreams and I never feel rested.

Sympathy for you OP, if there was a pill to stop you dreaming I'd definitely take it!

If you get the answer, let me know.

My dreams are never related to my subconscious state, they're vivid and some times horrific even if I am very relaxed and dealt with my issues.

Years of therapy, so no trauma that's not been dealt with

It is exhausting isn't it? In my case sometimes for DH too, as when they're really bad I wake him and he has to wake me/deal with me.

Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink I would love to see a therapist about these dreams but sadly can not afford it. As someone who has suffered with anxiety since early childhood I do believe there is some kind of correlation between that and my dreams. I had a lovely childhood but my anxieties were never addressed at the time so maybe they got pushed back deep into my psyche and come out as these weird dreams?
CalloohCallayFrabjousDay some of my dreams are lovely and I wake up wishing I was still in those dreams but these weird ones are becoming more regular and really unnerve me.
DaVariance no regular meds apart from some IBS medication but I’ve stopped taking those and didn’t notice any increase in the weird dreams whilst on them.
ChippyTea16 and JustFrustrated wonderful to find some fellow ‘dreamers’. That’s exactly how I am. I get a really good 7-8 hours of sleep but feel absolutely shattered as I feel so unrested due to the intensity of these dreams.

I would love to see a therapist about these dreams but sadly can not afford it.

consider doing a few sessions instead of your next holiday/luxury. Peaceful sleep is precious.

As someone who has suffered with anxiety since early childhood I do believe there is some kind of correlation between that and my dreams. I had a lovely childhood but my anxieties were never addressed at the time so maybe they got pushed back deep into my psyche and come out as these weird dreams?

Very possible. Even apparently loving childhoods can be riddled with parents’ unaddressed anxieties which can filter down to children and cause an underlying sense of insecurity.

Inner Work by Robert A Johnson is an interesting book if you want to explore dream work. Page 69 on especially. There’s a copy online here (it might take a couple of minutes to load the link as it’s photos of the book) - ia802700.us.archive.org/30/items/InnerWorkUsingDreamsActiveImaginationForPersonalGrowth/Inner%20Work%20-%20Using%20Dreams%20&%20Active%20Imagination%20For%20Personal%20Growth.pdf

Another source great on anxiety and Jungian work (looking deep within to resolve it) is Sheryl Paul - her book The Wisdom of Anxiety.

Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink I’m on carers allowance, I don’t have holidays, or luxuries! But I will look up the books, thank you.

@Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink ooh fascinating, thank you for the links. I've just started looking more into Jungian analysis, therapy etc from a podcast I found, they touch a lot on the dream work. Really fascinating stuff! I'll try to check these out.

OP even if you can't afford therapy I would highly recommend reading books or listening to podcasts about the topic of subconscious / dreams and maybe look at Jung's work as the PP has suggested. it is really enlightening and may be enough to get you going on understanding what is going on with you and your dreams.

there are also some good sleep hypnosis videos on youtube - a guy called Michael Sealey is excellent which may help with having restful sleep etc. I nod off in minutes as his voice is so relaxing - but it works on your subconsious and there are ones specific to dreams.

I will definitely have a look at Jung’s work. I do listen to Micheal Sealey on YT. I agree, he has such a lovely soothing voice.

@CaraVann there's a good podcast called This Jungian Life I have recently discovered which may interest you, three therapists discussing Jung, the subconscious, neuroses, dreams, habits, brains etc etc. really interesting stuff!

When you sleep your conscious mind turns off to recharge your batteries. Your subconscious, on the other hand, doesn't need to sleep - it will be processing what happened during that day and suggesting solutions to problems you're grappling with (ever gone to bed worrying about something and woken up with the solution in your mind?).

There will also be parts of your subconscious which are saying "woohoo - the boss is asleep, let's run riot!" Like a bunch of over excited children in the playground, realising that the teacher has gone to sleep, they will play the most fantastical, ridiculous, colourful games possible - not to hurt or harm you but just because they can. If you can frame your dreams on that basis you will find they are less threatening.

As others have mentioned, hypnosis is great for sleep issues as it connects directly with the subconscious and allows it to have a voice.

I have this too OP! Every night and extremely vivid! Very similar dreams to you - plane crashes, being back at old jobs but I am my current age, being back at school, dreams about a particular house I lived in from 2013 to 2017 (creepy). I dream often of water and flooding too.

The strange thing is when I am dreaming, I actually know that I am dreaming. I can also wake myself up. I find this topic fascinating! I also remember the dreams from years ago, theyn ever go away.

This one is good. There’s another couple of podcasts in a similar vein (Jungian inspired) -

Gathering Gold by Sheryl Paul which focuses more on anxieties but great Jungian depth work

And Being Well with Dr Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson which often mixes insight from clinical psychology with Buddhist/eastern wisdom.

I use a sleep app that wakes me when I'm just coming out of a sleep cycle.

I've pretty much not had dreams I can recall since I started using it.

I think this is partly behind my poor sleep and insomnia. If I go to bed too early I will often get the dreams. They're so strange at best. Unnerving are those featuring people I knew who died 30 years ago but I never know they're dead during the dream, not until I'm awake. I don't feel fresh upset at discovering I'm wrong, only that it's strange.

I'm afraid sometimes I've gone to bed very late as I don't have them when I'm extremely tired on a shorter sleep, but that's not a sensible long term solution.

I had very light sleep and very vivid dreams for around 2 years, put it down to subconscious work related stress even though I didn't feel particularly stressed day to day. However when I started taking omeprazole they vanished and my sleep improved massively. I didn't realise I had silent reflux all that time but looking back I had symptoms but didn't realise because I didn't actually taste acid or have pain. Something to consider!

Do you sleep on your back or side?

Which app is it? Bumply, I would like to try something like that.
ripplesunderneath Funny you mention that as I find the only time I don’t remember my dreams is when I’ve gone to bed super late.
Interesting Yohohaha I have awful IBS and upper digestive issues. Sadly, PPI’s make me very poorly but I wonder if my gut issues are preventing me from sleeping deeply?
I always sleep on my side slamwich, left and right, never on my back.

I have IBS as well, maybe try a load of gaviscon or Rennie's instead throughout the day? Or a night of eating early and gaviscon before bed and see if it makes difference?

Yohohaha I do intermittent fasting so usually stop eating around 6 or 7pm, and my nightcap is always a large glug of gaviscon lol!

I can wake myself up if I'm having a bad dream particularly if its a proper nightmare. I usually get a bit of sleep paralysis as I become conscious, but I'm used to it and whilst horrible it doesn't last long. I must be a very light sleeper.

Do you keep a sleep journal?

It might be helpful to ponder the meanings with the help of some of these books and work through the issues you uncover.

Then maybe the dreams will become less dramatic.

No advice just sympathy. I dream musicals. All the people and the props and set all sing, loudly. It is exhausting. I particularly dislike the way glasses of water sing.