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Original poster

Dinner party - help yourself or not?

25 replies

whippeywhippet · 12/01/2023 22:55

I'm cooking roast beef and all the trimmings tomorrow evening for 7 friends... would you rather help yourself from the middle of the table or to be served on the plate already?

No one is a fussy eater or has allergies, I just can't decide what will be easier for me and nicer in general! 😊

OP posts:

HarryArry · 12/01/2023 23:19

Help yourself.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 12/01/2023 23:23

Help yourself.

Boosterquery · 12/01/2023 23:24

I would say best to let guests help themselves. Different people are bound to want different portion sizes, and some people may have particular foods they're not so keen on.

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AtleastitsnotMonday · 12/01/2023 23:24

Help yourself, I hate plated.

RosesAndHellebores · 12/01/2023 23:27

I wouldn’t plate up a roast. Where are you carving? DH usually carves at the table and passes the plates on as people say "when".

Mincepiepies · 12/01/2023 23:29

Always help yourself at the dinner table.

Lindtcat · 12/01/2023 23:31

Going against the grain here but I'd rather it be plated already. Then have some food in the middle incase anyone wants more.

Fushiadreams · 12/01/2023 23:33

Help yourself. Plating up and deciding who gets what is not good. The ideal is help yourself. The only reason restaurants plate up is cost control.

Fushiadreams · 12/01/2023 23:34

Lindtcat · 12/01/2023 23:31

Going against the grain here but I'd rather it be plated already. Then have some food in the middle incase anyone wants more.

What you prefer someone to decide how much you wish to eat of each element?

MrsSkylerWhite · 12/01/2023 23:35

Help yourself.

willowstar · 12/01/2023 23:36

Definitely help yourself. I get really uncomfortable when people plate up meals for me and there is far too much of something and I end up having to lob it on to my husband's plate surreptitiously, or when there isn't enough of something I really like. I always put the dishes in the middle of the table and people just help themselves.

HeddaGarbled · 12/01/2023 23:37

Only do help yourself if all the plates and serving dishes are piping hot so the food’s not going to go cold while everyone faffs about, the supplies are plentiful, especially the meat, yorkshires, roast potatoes and gravy, and you can trust the men not to take too much and the best bits leaving the women with meagre and substandard helpings.

Personally, I’d plate up the meat fairly because men can’t be trusted not to snaffle the best bits.

ApolloandDaphne · 12/01/2023 23:37

I would probably carve and plate the meat then let everyone help themselves to the sides.

trulyunruly01 · 12/01/2023 23:39

I'd probably plate the meat but put everything else on the table in serving dishes. It makes for a much more social atmosphere, people are more likely to take seconds (thus less wastage). As people finish I would go round with any leftover meat and invite them to help themselves to veg and gravy.
Plated meals are fine for family weeknights but for a dinner party with guests I want them to take their time, have second helpings if wanted. If presented with a plated meal the instinct is to clear the plate, stack the plate and end the meal.

Oohthatwind · 12/01/2023 23:41

I prefer plated. I tend to find I take much less than I need if it’s help yourself.

Lindtcat · 12/01/2023 23:41

@Fushiadreams absolutely fine with me tbh. Less faff

HallieHufflepuff · 12/01/2023 23:43

I would prefer to help myself but DH would say plate it up because when you help yourself, he's nervous he's taking too much or something that others might want to eat and he ends up not eating as much as he wants.

Original poster

whippeywhippet · 13/01/2023 13:03

Thank you everyone! I thought that the majority would probably be help yourself but always good to see. I think I'm going to go with carving and plating the meat and then the rest help yourself, including the left over beef!

OP posts:

emmathedilemma · 13/01/2023 14:16

HallieHufflepuff · 12/01/2023 23:43

I prefer to help myself too but i have a particular group of friends who clearly have the appetite of a rabbit. They cook lovely food but they'd cook veg for 4-5 people that I'd do for 2 so I'm always really conscious of not helping myself to as much as I'd like. Make enough that there's plenty for leftovers.

mrsbrownhat · 13/01/2023 14:20

ApolloandDaphne · 12/01/2023 23:37

I would probably carve and plate the meat then let everyone help themselves to the sides.

This

RosesAndHellebores · 13/01/2023 21:33

@HeddaGarbled I think you know the wrong men.

astarsheis · 16/02/2023 15:10

Always help yourself at my house...but I would carve the meat and put that for self-serving too.

Ryebreadandpickles654 · 16/02/2023 15:15

I carve the meat and then hand plates around for everyone to serve themselves to the rest and my DH helps that process along. Maybe have two bowls of potatoes and two bowels of veg and two gravy boats at separate ends of the table depending on number of guests.

With family though I have been known to get them to hold their plates of meat and get them to funnel through the kitchen where we serve veg and gravy and Yorkshire's hot off the stove.

Ryebreadandpickles654 · 16/02/2023 15:16

Sounds great to have a roast for a dinner party though op. Your guests are lucky!

Benjispruce4 · 16/02/2023 15:18

Depends on your guests. If we have BIL and SIL they will eat ALL the food! 😂 It’s a shame especially as they don’t reciprocate and you come away hungry.

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