All in good humour guys. No offence meant or encouraged.
I'll start.
Math teacher:
'He asked me how to multiply loaves and fishes and I told him to use x and y and he said his people couldn't eat letters'
History teacher:
'He told me I was irrelevant because everything BC didn't matter!'
'Prom' committee:
'We put him in charge of the punch bowl....and I think that's all we need to say about that'.