Would anybody mind reading a eulogy for a person with special needs?
My concerns are it might not be personal enough, is perhaps too focused on disabilty, too morbid and that the bit about being a carer is making it more about us? is there something i should add/remove?
Opinions/feedback would be appreciated, I just want it to be right, she deserves the best, but obviously my heads a mess and i dont want to read it back after and have regrets we didnt do her justice iykwim.
Aged late 50s, natural causes, learning difficulties from birth.
Thanks x
I'd like to say Julie would be so happy to see so many of you here today but honestly, she'd probably just be annoyed at missing, what she used to call, the 'after party'.
There's a quote by Anna Anderson which I think is apt for today.
She said, "The idea is to die young, but as late as possible." Julie could have lived to be 200 and today would have still come too soon.
Her child-like innocence, her absolute adoration for life, her complete dedication to being a full time messer.
She could act the aul granny when she wanted - woe betide you if you didnt get her socks laid out in the right order and she was forever grumbling about 'noisy silly kids' outside.
But, her special needs meant she was truly a child at heart and always our baby no matter how old she got.
We're taught that people shouldnt be defined by their disabilities and thats true of course, but in reality, Julie was somewhat defined by them.
Many of us are blessed with abilities and burdened with ingratitude - we have good health but take it for granted. We can walk but we don’t know which way to go. We have arms but we dont always reach out.
We have voices but we dont say the right thing.
Not so for Julie.
Sure, there were things she couldnt do, but the things she could do? She could smile, she could laugh, she could feel unbridled happiness. She could love without condition and she could show her love without ever saying a word. She could express herself with a look, a grin, a squeeze, and to those in her inner circle, even an insult!
She found joy in the simplest of things - a walk, an ice cream cone, a puzzle book or bus ride.
In reality, Julies disabilities gave her abilities most of us can only dream of.
And of course taking care of Julie was tough at times.
Taking care of anyone with special needs is not easy - it takes hard work, it takes complete dedication, it takes its toll.
But, as more than a few of you here will know, it gives far far more than it takes.
Julie gave us the drive to work harder by overcoming her own challenges every day.
She taught us about strength and perseverance by battling her every limitation.
She gave us perspective by reminding us, when we too often forgot, to savour the sweet, beautiful moments in every day.
She gave us kindness, patience, a depth of love required to nurture another so completely.
Through her vulnerabilities, she made us see what we ourselves were capable of, how strong we could be, she showed us parts of ourselves that we might otherwise have never known.
Imagine there is a day when you have big plans but you get up in the morning and it’s Ireland so its raining. The sky is dark and gloomy - why did it have to rain today, you ask. It's not what was supposed to happen.
But, the longer you look, the more beauty you find in it all. When you look out at the rain, you may see puddles and storm clouds, you may see grey skies and raindrops.
But eventually you will see how the rain nourishes the earth, how it settles the seeds and gives them roots so they can grow. You see how the water flows from the sky to the earth to the sea and back again to the sky in a great cycle that never ends. You look up to the heavens and you see the rainbow and you remember that it is only because you endured a storm that you get to see such beauty.
Through the darkness, through the adversity, through the challenges, it shines through, filled with colour and light.
For all the ways Julie taught us about life, for all the ways she inspired us to be better, and for all the love she gave while she was here - remember when skies are grey, to look past the clouds and see the rainbow.