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Does it matter that they don’t believe me?

5 replies

Iloveyouireallydo · 11/01/2023 12:26

Complex trauma in childhood which I’m beginning to deal with now. I’ve a lot more contact with my extended family than I used to, due to circumstances changing, and they’ve been asking me questions about my childhood - about my parents marriage mainly (domestic violence/abuse) etc.

When I explained my memories of my childhood (to a very small extent) and mentioned I’d been taken into care a few times to one relative they just sort of nodded, didn’t really say anything else - another relative has since said first person I spoke to doesn’t believe that actually happened.

It doesn’t matter matter iyswim because I’m getting the right support from the NHS, and I got the feeling that the second person who spoke to me was rather incredulous that the first person didn’t believe me. But why would the first person think I had any reason to make any of that up?

I’ve even over the last few days started doubting myself, circumstances mean I’m the only person who was involved who remembers, but I’m now worried it is all just a weird story I’ve told myself? I used to make up like fantasy worlds in my head in my very early teens as a form of escape that felt very real even though I knew it wasn’t . But I don’t think this is the same, when I think about the stuff that did happen I feel different - I end up shaky or very angry or zone out/mind goes blank and I can’t remember where I am or why I’m there, and I can’t talk about it without feeling very unwell afterwards - the last time I tried I was admitted to hospital for a night.

As daft as it sounds I’ve also got birthday cards from foster carers that can’t be explained in any other way.

I don’t really know what to think, my CPN said it might be better to see it as their issue not mine - said it’s less about my ‘lying’ and probably their way of absolving themselves of any possible guilt.

Is it OK that they haven’t believed me then?

OP posts:
Iloveyouireallydo · 11/01/2023 16:48

Bump

OP posts:
Ihaveanotherusername · 11/01/2023 18:11

I hope someone with more skill or experience comes along shortly.

To answer your question, the reason why the first person says they think you made it up is simple: guilt.

Listen to your CPN on this one.

Ihaveanotherusername · 11/01/2023 18:14

And it’s not OK that they don’t believe you but there isn’t a lot you can do about that.

Sharkpenis · 11/01/2023 18:21

Thats shit.

I think you can request your care records, even if its just to peice things together for yourself. Perhaps some life story work could help you?

ehb102 · 11/01/2023 19:00

People often deny what they don't like to think about. You know it's true, you don't need validation from them. It's what happened, whether they believe it or not.

This happens a lot. It happens to all kind of people who might be called victims, whether of child abuse or rape or domestic violence or a whole load of other things.

Stay centred and know that it isn't you, it's them.

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