Colleague moving away and slating where we live constantly...

[DownInTheDumpster]

A colleague is moving abroad (north pacific USA) and is obviously excited. They have family there, good job opportunities and are looking forward to the scenery etc. The only issue is now they are constantly slating where we live (city i NW of UK) and it's so tedious. Things are hard in the UK at the moment obviously and I am well aware but every day:
'I can't wait to get away from this depressing weather- the summers are beautiful in X and winters are nowhere near this bad'
'The NHS is a state I'm so glad I'll be having my children in the US'
'I can't wait to be near natural scenery, be able to go paddle boarding and skiing at a moments notice'
etc etc
It's not that any of these aren't true! But I still have to live her and it seems kind of...rude? We both have professional jobs, live in nice areas and have a good standard of living. I feel like I'm being left behind in a dump while she floats off to paradise.
Do I say something or keep quiet? She's not going for a year!

*live here!

Just ignore her?

I hate when people do this. It's fair enough to not like it and want to go but why slag off who is staying behind?

Either ignore or if she says about the NHS comment how you would rather have access to a free to all health service than pay extortionate rates for healthcare (far higher than private rates here).

As regards the rest smile and wave, smile and wave! She will be gone soon

I wouldn't say anything, that will just create more bad feeling between the two of you.
Non of the comments you've said here are personal to you or where you live.

In life, generally, you cannot control other people's actions, you can control your own. In this case, find a way to hear her comments and not feel annoyed about them. Just hear a comment, acknowledge to yourself she's excited about her move, then let it go and think about something else.

URGH, she sounds insufferable. I would be ghosting her NOW if it were me.

Also, why is she not going for a YEAR?

People who do this - move away, then parp on about how shit the town they grew up in is, really fuck me off. I think 'well fuck off then. Nobody is asking you to stay!'

My sister has moved from the UK and does this all the time. It does my nut in. I know that there are huge problems here, but I don't need them pointing out, I am already aware of them. I do think that it comes from a place of insecurity- She isn't quite sure that she's done the right thing in moving, and although I think that her quality of life is better, I don't think it will ever feel quite like home for her, and that must be difficult.

Just roll your eyes and tell her you can’t wait till she goes too!

Ask why she isn’t leaving sooner.

Every time she says something ask "How much longer until you leave?" It's delightfully passive-aggressive as it suggests that you can't wait for her to go without saying it.

Alternatively research things that have gone wrong. eg California - "Aren't they really short of water? I read recently that the reservoirs are at their lowest levels ever". Oregon - "I was reading somewhere that the Cascadia fault is due for a really big earthquake any time in the next century".

As she is a colleague I wouldn't particularly try to make her amend her ways overtly. I'd just grey rock the conversation whenever she started with the negative comparisons.
If it was a personal relationship I'd want to give some some constructive feedback as this is basically gloating and some self awareness would be needed if relations were going to be maintained on a happy footing.

Will she be working full time? I don’t know the arrangements but the US generally have very little annual leave compared to us plus it’s a vast, vast country and takes a long time to get anywhere. Just how close are these places she is talking about enjoying, and will she have enough time off work to go at a moment’s notice?

Plus I envy you in the NW which doesn’t experience the same heatwaves we have here in the London area, now and in the future. What will the weather become like where she’s moving to?

I don’t know why your friend has to shore herself up by belittling where she lives now - “thou doth protest too much” springs to mind!

Ignore
Everyone who has moved from UK are like this.

Each time she says something about the move, quickly chime in with, ‘I’m so excited too! Coming to stay with you for a holiday to escape this shit hole will be lovely!’ Smile enthusiastically.

She will then post on Mumsnet that her colleague is insisting on staying with her after she has moved and we will all tell her the best thing is to keep quiet about the move and she’ll forget it.

Job done.

She sounds incredibly boring and thoughtless. Is she going to work over there? How much will healthcare cost? What will her holidays be?

"Each time she says something about the move, quickly chime in with, ‘I’m so excited too! Coming to stay with you for a holiday to escape this shit hole will be lovely!’ Smile enthusiastically."

Yes this! But also make sure you have a calendar on hand and urge her to block off some dates. At least two weeks, it's a long way to go so you'll want to make the most of it.

It is very likely that she has some (understandable) worries about the move and is convincing herself that it is the right thing to do by trashing the UK. It's everything to do with her and really nothing to do with you. Tune her out or start wearing headphones.

" Save the Tripadvisor comments until you have actually lived there for a year".

Or, next time she has a cold/headache/feels a bit tired you could say

" I am on top form today, I feel absolutely terrific and full of beans, happy to be alive. Ooops. That might have sounded rather rude and insensitive. "

Maybe start saying things like "Well you know, some of us who will be staying here don't like to think of our lives here as crap." Saying how you really feel about her comments instead of making hints might make her realize she's not being very sensitive. She doesn't sound like the type to pick up on hints.

asks her if she has any idea if the cost of having a child in the US.

Also, it rains all the time in the Pacific Northwest

The PNW won't be much different to the UK in terms of weather. Hope her kids don't experience a school shooting or lose their health insurance.
But that's all by the by, explain to her if you want to, but I would personally just leave it.

Having spent far too much time in America…. I couldn’t live there.

Its the most racist place in the world.

it has the worse inequality.
it has divisive politics that make us look amateur
it has some lovely scenery
i like the lack of rules in the less metropolitan area
it has some lovely people if you fit in
it has layers of corruption that make italy seem like the promised land
guns are everywhere
they don’t know how to drink and disapprove of drunks.

it’s what i’d call a fake society….
on the surface it can look glorious
under the surface, it’s a sack of rats.

Having worked with americans for for too long,
they believe they are right - never listen

id go to North america to play golf, see family, but that’s it.

far more beautifull places and people in the world.

Pacific Northwest? Ask her if she enjoys rain and fog. The summers are not all that either.

I just wouldn't rey at all - leave her words hanging in dead air and continue with your work.

The USA where healthcare costs an arm and a leg, they get no maternity or annual leave, where the summers are scorching [including actually burning houses to the ground scorching], where they regularly have power outages after horrific weather, and where it has been minus 40C in places this winter?

Sounds great.