3 year old regressing potty training at new nursery

[fairywoo]

She's been out of nappies for around 2-3 months now.

She doesn't like being promoted to go to the toilet, but she likes to go when she wants to go. She may even be holding her crotch and clearly needing to go, but won't go until she has decided it's time to go...

At nursery they're taking her every 15-20 minutes. She's had a few accidents now and hasn't yet gone to the toilet at nursery at all. She started last week, so it's early days.

Any advice ? I never took her to the toilet frequently when she was potty training, but rather waited to see if I could see signs she needed to go and then took her. Of course they can't do this at nursery, but I worry that the pressure of going every 20 minutes isn't helping. I have no other suggestions tough.

Mine would have regressed if I’d been driving them insane taking them to the toilet every twenty minutes! It’s a phase, I’d just let her learn that being desperate is uncomfortable and leads to accidents, which are uncomfortable and time consuming. I’d also check she’s not worried or scared about the new nursery toilets - one of mine had a phase of refusing to use nursery toilets and having accidents, we eventually dragged out of them that they thought they would be in big trouble for using the toilet at nursery - they’d overheard a staff member make a joke with another child and completely misunderstood! The staff member reassured them, they got a special certificate for using the toilet and all was well!

If she’s easily bribed (one of mine is, one isn’t) I might offer some rewards for going to the toilet at nursery, dry pants at nursery all day etc. But if she’s successfully dry everywhere else then it’ll probably resolve itself fairly quickly as she settles in and gets familiar and comfortable with the staff and routine. I would also practice the “on command” wee at home though, because life is much easier when they go before getting in the car and don’t announce they need it on the M25 with seconds to spare etc etc… they can’t always choose exactly when to go!