is this rude or fair enough?

[amaryllis134]

honest answers appreciated!
If you're out with a group of friends, male and female, who you've known a long time and you pop out to the loo, return and two of your friends (the only two women in the group, the others are their husbands) are making arrangements to meet for a walk/coffee shop etc midweek (they know you don't work every day of the week so could definitely make it too), would you find this rude, or just shrug it off?

They were not at all rude. While you weren’t there they made plans, when they saw you’d returned they changed the subject to something more inclusive.

You were out with a big group of friends, it’s not like there were just the 3 of you. Little side conversations happen in a big group.

To be honest I'd be less bothered by the arranging to meet up in the open than feeling like they are hiding it.

I think it's fine to have individus friendships within a wider group tbh.

yeah, I agree. It just creates one of those where do I look
moments when people are chatting about separate arrangements 🤣
That's why I'd phone or whatsapp or speak to the person one to one rather than raise in a group like that.

and whilst I do separate meet ups with some people, I try (where possible) to do group invitations, unless it's something specific to a particular person.

You don't have to be invited to everything.

sigh.
Yes.
I do know that.

No, but arranging plans that exclude one person while in a night out is shitty behaviour. Your standards must be extremely low.

If you are all close enough, why didn't you just ask them if you could come too?

At least they were talking partly in front of you, otherwise you would have known.

@amaryllis134 I agree it is very rude (actually blatantly rude) of them to exclude you in this way.They aren't decent women 😕 and sadly there's alot of them about.I know a similar group! A bitch amongst them who hogs the limelight everytime & I know she doesn't care for me much. The feeling is mutual. Some people are savage and enjoy or get a kick out of leaving other people out. They maybe jealous of you? Still hurts though.
Make a plan with some who appreciates your friendship.

@Notlivinglife you read my mind, that's exactly what I did this morning

(I made a plan!)

@Notlivinglife I totally agree that the problem is the way it was done. Like you say, some people do get a kick out of doing this. They don’t just leave someone out - their ego needs that person to know they’re being left out. You can tell the difference when it’s done that way

Trust your own feelings OP; you sensed you were being deliberately excluded and you were almost certainly right. Glad you’ve now made a plan with someone that appreciates you.

They're just making arrangements, it's not rude.

It's their right not to include you if that's the case.