Does anyone know what a solicitor would suggest here? (Contact)

[Turbersr]

I have a two week old. Ex has said his solicitor will be in touch about contact. He’s not met dc yet but I don’t intend to make it difficult for him.

however, ex can’t drive due to a medical condition. He is currently 100 miles away, half way on the train would take him around an hour and 15 mins. He also has a VERY unpredictable work pattern, often on the day he can’t be sure when he will finish.

what is likely to be suggested for contact? What will be expected of each of us? Like I say I will try to be accommodating but I want to be prepared as to what might come up given the distance, the inability of him to drive and the fact his work is incredibly unpredictable. Thanks

I have no idea what a solicitor would say, but as the primary caregiver to a newborn, particularly if you are breastfeeding, I'm pretty confident that it's really on him to make a plan to visit and see the baby at your home. In time, of course, that might change, but right now, I can't see how you and baby travelling for hours is a useful or practical solution for him to see the baby for just a few hours at a time.

Also, with all due respect, if he really wants to see the baby, after 2 weeks, he'd have made at least some effort.

^^ This. Why does he need to get in touch with a solicitor? Why can't he arrange directly with you to come to meet his baby three or four days a week?

Why does he have a solicitor?

Totally unhelpful and judgemental but I feel for the baby in this.
Two weeks old and parents aren't even talking to each other.

I hope that someone will sort this out.

He must get one or two days off each week? surely it would be better for him to visit on one or both of his days off, that way you could agree on a time.

You are both entitled to 50/50 access. Obviously at the moment it would be short visits especially if baby is breastfed but in the long term you would both need to think about how 50/50 would work, if he wanted that much access.

Have you always lived that far apart or did one of you move away?

You will it be expected to travel and sit outside with a new born baby. Contact at that age, usually if at all, occurs in the mothers house for a few hours, regularly. He's made no effort to see the baby since they were born. I wouldn't get too worried about this. If he wants to see the baby at this age, he does the travelling, later when they are a bit older that can be revisited, but by no means are you obliged to travel that distance with a new born- it's not recommended to be ina car seat that long anywa.

Sorry, that should read you will not! They will not force you to travel with a baby that age. He needs to do the full journey

Each case is different and thus it is difficult to say what a Court might order should it come to it. The primary consideration however is the welfare of the child and it is difficult to see how your ex would be able to argue that travelling significant distances would be in your dc's best interests - I suspect the onus would be on him (at least until dc is a little older) to do most of the travelling.

There is not as a PP said an entitlement to 50/50 access (rather a presumption that a child should have a relationship with both parents unless a good reason not to) so that is not something to concern yourself with. Your dc is very little and naturally contact arrangements will need to change and adapt as dc Tyler's older.

For now, if you accept there should be a relationship, perhaps you could make some suggestions that would work for you and dc and try and encourage some dialogue without legal involvement. If communication between the two of you is difficult, Our Family Wizard can be a very useful app
(albeit there is a fee) for separated parents.