Planners and organised people

[Plannerspannermanners]

Is anyone else a planner? I feel like there are frequently threads on here about people struggling to keep up with their busy lives, but does anyone else just shrug and think - make a spreadsheet?

I’ve always been like this, even as a child. I can remember dates and times and have a photographic memory. I picture the days of the week and the months of the year on a continuous rolling wave (in my mind) and can always place when something needs to be done or will need to be booked in by. I don’t get stressed by being busy because I’ve always planned for whatever events are coming up. This is not a stealth boast by any means - it actually causes problems and the older (and more menopausal) I’ve got, the less I can cope with others, even DH, not being ‘switched on’ or needing reminding about what’s coming up and when. I know that this is my problem as I’m probably the abnormal one but it doesn’t stop it infuriating me!

Anyhoo - interested to know if there is anyone else out there who’s similar 😀

Yes I am a planner and enjoy it as well . I love doing my budgets and filling in my diary .

Hello, fellow planners.

My dh and I are organised. That is one of the reasons why I married him. He made a date and kept to it. I knew then he was a keeper 😁

I don't have a photographic memory but rely on digital calendars and physical lists upon lists. I pride myself that the household and dcs' lives run like clockwork. Working backwards is routine, so is setting up reminders.

Workwise, I manage a team, so I organise them too, like team calendars, asking them to diarise chasers and putting in place systems for tracking workload, monitoring and keeping on top of tasks.

I manage finances in the household including forward planning and investments. We have hit financial goals (paid off mortgage!) and are on track for pensions and savings for ourselves and dcs.

The downside is I get stressed if things don't go to plan. I don't like living by the seat of my pants. Once I have calmed down, it is time to re-jig and plan some more.

I am a natural planner and quite well organised and even go as far to use project management tools in my personal life because spreadsheets are just a bit basic. However I've also been so low and depressed with everything in my life chaos and I can't remember everything so I can sympathise and not get frustrated when others sometimes drop the ball.

@makingarunforit - this isn’t about being perfect. It’s interesting that you saw yourself not being organised as a failing though. That’s not what I’m saying at all. It comes to me innately. I don’t work at it, or try to be a planner, it’s just how my brain works. Hence I’m asking if there are others out there like me, and if so, how they cope with people who are less organised. As I’ve said upthread, I know my standards are stupidly high in many ways, but it’s not about perfectionism, it’s how I am! I really have to tone down my frustration sometimes as I know it’s not fair to expect the same of others.

@Kazzyhoward I see their point but if you use a list as intended it's a thing of beauty. (Plus as I get older I forget stuff I have to do if it's not a s rubbles somewhere)

Make list.
Do thing on list.
Cross off list.

Nothing better than a list with everything crossed off that you can Chuck on the fire as you put your feet up with a glass of vino.

But yes. People who make lists then twiddle with the list instead of doing. That's almost worse than being disorganised as they're already halfway there!!

Totally agree! I’m a planner , I like lists and budgets and write in my phone what I need to do each day in the calendar ! I love a good spreadsheet too. Although school admin and all the ridiculous amounts of dates, events, collections , parties, non uniform days, bring a golden unicorn to school days , etc etc really does test even the most organised of people ! 🤣🤣😴

@AnotherAppleThief - that’s something I struggle with too. Plans changing at the last minute, particularly if the change could have been avoided by someone else planning better! The whole your crisis isn’t my emergency kinda thing. I like the PP’s idea of having weekends off as to an extent, some of this uber planning can become a bit unhealthy. It really irritates me if I can’t do everything on my list for the day, for example!

@Sunsetintheeast - you set the bar even higher than I do! Respect to you! We are very well planned for 2023, holidays budgeted for for 2024 but not yet planned and booked in. Might have a look at that tomorrow 🤣

I love a list and spreadsheet. All our money, bills etc are on spreadsheets and we have a large family calendar on the wall with all the schools dates, appointments etc on there. I get really annoyed when DH says ‘when’s …’ just look at the bloody calendar! I admittedly only work 2 days a week from home so I have more time to be on top of it. Also, I absolutely don’t think I’m ‘perfect’. I have absolutely no chill or ‘go with the flow’ as a PP said so that’s the trade off of being so organised!

I'm naturally a planner and organiser. I can't / don't want to be anything else.

I've learned be flexible. Sometimes plans don't work out, sometimes we get invites last minute, sometimes the list isn't completed & becomes tomorrow's job. I don't let being organised run my life. It's just a tool to help me run my life without anxiety and last minute panicking.

It just works, though. Things get done, there's no panicking. Also, since I took over our finances six years ago, our large-ish going nowhere mortgage figure has dropped so dramatically it'll be paid out this year or next. On one income (we used to have two prior to that). Planning and focussing on priorities gets things done, for me anyway.

The annoying part is some people (including DH) make fun of my clutter free, organised home. Or people who use me to sort their plans - like the friend who started using me for school info instead of reading the newsletter or sorting forms herself. I quickly realised & stopped, but she still tries!

@Plannerspannermanners my bitches a bit as he’s never got any holiday left!

I’m both! I honestly don’t know where I fit! I’m a PA so my whole job is based around planning and organising. I look after very senior people and control all their time. I plan and organise major events at work. I plan all our holidays, all my friends call on me to organise their trips, the kids hobby groups get me involved, yet my house, home paperwork and finances are a total mess. I live day to day. My DH doesn’t understand how I survive at work as I’m a totally different person. I think I get ‘organised out’ so just switch off at home.

Well, it was about developing good habits and learning how to prioritise tasks effectively. Assessing what needs to be done and when, getting it scheduled into the planner, which helps you do things in the right order, and you don’t delay difficult things to do the fun easy stuff first.

The good thing about being organised is we can take on medium to longer term Projects and methodically see them through. This includes researching the best air fryer to organising my son's GCSE revision to doing a clear out to donate to charity to sorting my parents' financial affairs.

I am surrounded by half finished projects (meandering their way to completion) whilst being proritised and de-prioritised as other projects or day-to-day shit takes precedence.

Life is one big project. It is satisfying to tick big things off the list.

When I went for a recent smear the nurse thanked me for coming and I was confused and said ‘well I’d got an appointment’ - she explained that over half her patients don’t turn up which apart from being a scandalous waste of NHS time and money, shocked me that people don’t keep pocket diaries or calendars for just the basics of life.

I don’t use a fancy spreadsheet but just a diary with main dates and family birthdays. It doesn’t require a degree in project management to jot a time and date down when someone gives you one. I don’t get it.

This is really interesting to read, as someone to who is the complete opposite (partly due to neurodivergent issues). It reminds me of how someone kept complementing me for the heathy meals I eat. For him it seemed a huge hardship, but I just really like salad and veg!

The one benefit compared to what some of you are posting is I'm good at being flexible and handing last minute changes, as that is no different to the rest of my (chaotic) life.

I read that people with ADHD (not sure if that is your neurodivergence) can really thrive in crisis situations and think on their feet. The pressure makes them hyper focus. Perfect for emergency services and basically going in to sort things that most NTs would not touch.

I’ve found my tribe….. 😀

This sounds like me!

I like being organised. I think it's a result of having a very disorganised Mum who was always late for everything. I hated that and got very interested in planning and organising once I knew it existed! Now I have quite a senior role that requires a high level of planning and organising.

My DH is also very organised, is probably ASD and likes things very structured. He isn't very good at bigger projects, breaking them up into smaller and gets easily overwhelmed. But that's ok as I handle that and he handles the day to day stuff (he's a SAHD).

I do get grumpy at last minute stuff, especially unnecessary last minute stuff - it's one thing for someone to have an emergency etc and I'd do my best to flex with the situation, but I find people who just want to go with the flow quite difficult as their going with the flow often depends on me being organised and bailing them out! Sometimes this leads to problems - because we're busy, I work FT, menu plan weekly, weekly online supermarket shop - that means it's harder to suddenly produce x,y or z at the last minute.

I use a planner from Boxclever Press for personal/family organising, along with a family calendar and a budget spreadsheet. I like the 'Getting things done' approach so if something can be dealt with in two minutes then I'll do it there and then. If something will take longer I add it to my planner in the appropriate week, broken down into smaller tasks if necessary.

Recurring tasks and reminders I use a to do list app. I've got Toodledo at the moment but has anyone tried ToDoist?

I am a natural planner, forward thinker and able to work backwards from an event to get to where I need to be.

My DD is not. This, and other things, suggest some ADHD traits. Her inability to plan or to be prepared for an event used to cause immense stress and tension between us until I realised that she wasn't being difficult on purpose but her brain just doesn't work that way. She is now beginning to use strategies to help her be more organised but it is something she has to actively work at rather than being a natural attribute.

@Sunsetintheeast yay, we have one of those too, I've never known anyone else who does this.
Dh and I are both planners, which is handy, at least we agree on stuff.
Financial planning - 2 very big spreadsheets since 2003. Enabled us to retire 6 years ago.
General life planning, we both just do naturally. Dh maybe a bit more than me.
And holiday planning - absolutely our favourite hobby, we love independent travel across Europe, choosing locations, trains, hotels, apartments etc.

We once went to Ireland and overhead someone saying
"there is no plan, no plan at all!"
We were flabbergasted, so much that it has passed into our family sayings now. (also, sounds much better in an Irish accent)

@amigababy - that would have left me flabbergasted too! Surely everything in life requires some degree of planning?!

I always say I can fit most things in, I have a relatively flexible job, access to money/resources etc. but what I can’t do is last minute. In a true emergency, yes, but not because someone/thing else (school usually 🤯) has forgotten to play their part.

I love organisation, but my team would say I have a messy desk!

I like to think I'm fairly organised, but you guys appear to be on another level.

Last year I found a shared calendar app for me and DH to use which was a god send.
I've really got on top of our finances recently and have short term targets but we struggle with long term goals.

DH is not a planner by nature and DD looks to be the same! So it's just me planning for all of us lol

I think I’m ADHD, if you see my previous post. I think I excel at work because it’s always under pressure. We work at such a fast pace that everything is last minute and I get stuff done under pressure. I don’t have that pressure at home.
I also hyper focus, so my trips are amazingly planned as I focus on that and very little else until that’s planned 100% done completely.

I'll say. I used to be incredibly disorganised at home - piles of paperwork, never knew what was where - then something clicked and I did a complete 180 degrees. Now I have a diary where appointments are noted, and paperwork is filed away as soon as possible.

Someone said upthread that they keep their work email inbox clear. I have trained a few people and tried to emphasise this - if your inbox is a couple of hundred emails you are wasting so much time and mental effort looking at stuff you have already dealt with. Deal, file, delete or sweep it to a specific folder for later.