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What if I regret moving DC's school because of low level bullying?

2 replies

User156462 · 07/01/2023 18:56

My DS is y3. He is at a very good/desirable school.

He has some special needs (ADHD/ASD). He is not aggressive or disruptive. He has a little bit of social support from school and he is definitely what would be described as quirky.

He's never had any problems out of school and he loves his out of school activities. He has a few good friends and socialises well with them. He doesn't like large groups or sport.

He is in a class full of alpha males who like football. They are being increasingly unkind to DS. Calling him weird, telling him he's a baby. They exclude him from games and tease him, saying things like 'go and run over there to get that for us DS' and then running off away from him. When he tells the teachers on duty they tell him to ignore it or just move away from them.

It is not everyone and DS is not without his faults. He gets very cross at this behaviour and can sometimes push them or shout at them in retaliation. The rest of the class are fine and nice enough but bar his one best friend he is mostly a bit of a lone ranger.

Outside of school he's honestly fine. We've spent all day at a friend's house and he's played really well with their DC who are the same age as him.

We have toyed with moving schools for a while as his class as a whole are known for being disruptive and difficult.

I am really worried though that moving him won't solve anything. DC obviously has his own issues but I hate seeing him unhappy. School don't think it's a big issue because it's not always the same child and the incidents themselves are low level. His teacher has other things to deal with because some of the other children are very disruptive and have a high level of need. DS just gets ignored I think as he's quite capable and his needs, though diagnosed are 'low' and mostly managed (until they aren't!).

I would love to hear from others who have moved their children away from classes with low level bullying and disruption. Was it successful? Did anyone regret it?

OP posts:
cansu · 07/01/2023 18:59

I think you may find it is not all that different elsewhere. Your ds needs to find his people. He is unlikely to do so on the playground. As he gets older he is more likely to be able to attend clubs where he will find people who are more his type. What does he think of the idea?

User156462 · 07/01/2023 19:05

He goes to a few clubs which he absolutely loves and he is fine there but haven't found they lead to true friendships. I don't know any of the parents so no playdates and he doesn't really know their names.

Because of his ASD he doesn't really make friends easily even though he will socialise
ok with them. His good friends out of school are my friends children who he has known for years.

OP posts:
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