HEing a socially anxious Y7

[BlooDeBloop]

Posting on chat for traffic. I'm considering taking the plunge to HE my Y7 DS. He doesn't get a lot of positive things out of school. Unlike other families, I'm not so worried about the academic side. But as a socially anxious preteen I'm just not sure what is best for him. Stay in school and work on the SA with the school, or stay at home to remove the pressure and develop skills in a more controlled manner.

I'm looking for stories from families in similar circumstances. Did your SA child benefit from staying in school? Did you take them out to HE and hoe did that work out in the long run?

I home educated my 3 daughters and several of their friends had anxiety. HE allows them to socialise at their own pace when and where they want to. There are always plenty of groups to go to, or you can meet with friends on a 1:1 which really helps. Socialising can often be done while doing an activity (we did all sorts…archery, horse riding, pottery, art classes) which makes things easier, and when they’ve had enough or they just need a quiet day, you can just be child-led by this. Just find your local HE group, often on Facebook, and ask for information, see what’s going on. And if it doesn’t work for you, or things change in the future, you can always go back into the school system. HTH.

Personally rather than EHE I would be applying for an EHCP, and if school isn’t appropriate because of his anxiety EOTAS is possible. It may take a fight to get an EHCP but an EHCP can provide much more support than anyone can provide by EHE including therapies.

Do you need a diagnosis for an EHCP?

No, they are based on needs rather than diagnosis.

Hmm that's interesting. I don't think I'll be making quick decisions so I'll go to Senco first and see what they have in their bag

The threshold for an EHCP is exceptionally high. From the limited information in the OP, I highly doubt this will be an option. However, no harm in trying if you can provide evidence of his struggles and the school agrees they are unable to meet his needs without an EHCP being in place.

if your child isn't coping at school and it is making them too anxious to learn then learning in a more suitable environment and building the skills is by far better in my opinion.

The threshold for an EHCP is exceptionally high.

It’s really not as high as many LAs and schools would have you believe. The only threshold the OP needs to focus on to begin with is the threshold for an EHCNA which is relatively low - a) has or may have SEN, and b) may need SEN provision to be made via an EHCP. If OP’s DS’s anxiety is so severe and the pressure so great she is considering deregistering then he meets that threshold, although, as I posted, it may be a fight.

The OP does not need the school to agree they can’t meet DS’s needs without an EHCP. Many schools incorrectly advise parents their DC doesn’t need or won’t get an EHCP but the parent goes on the successfully apply themselves.

Another point, OP, if DS is too anxious to attend school full time the LA must provide alternative provision once it becomes clear DS will miss 15 days. The days don’t have to have already been missed or consecutive.

perhaps you need to look at the setting? We have a school near me that provides a very child centred education to kids who have struggled in mainstream education. They can attend for two days a week and then HE for the rest of the time. Can you have a look into alternate settings for him?

Lots of ideas here. Good to know the nuances around EHCPs, the better to tackle the school if necessary.

For a fuller background, I've self referred to an OT with dyspraxia in mind and see what that brings up. Either myself or the OT will be contacting the school with ideas for provision.

More though, I am interested to hear if HE works for SA kids. DS is not a school refuser but he is ultra compliant and worries constantly about homework, lateness and all the rules (the school he goes to is 'outstanding' but persistent poor behaviour has led to a strict new behavioural system). School has become an overall negative experience and he isn't even benefiting greatly from the academic side.

Thank you for all the replies so far, all very helpful.

Would love that as an option but I believe there is nothing local any more. I'm on some local FB HE groups. Senco would hopefully have options to discuss. I'm inclined to book an interview with them.

I'm inclined to agree. But I'm wary as I found school equally hard and need to be sure I'm not over projecting or, horror, overbearing. My only focus should be what is best for DS. So hard!