Young empty nesters - positive stories this way please!

[Grrrrrrr23]

Hi,

So we've been toying with the idea of having another dc over the past 5 or 6 years, but for various reasons, we've decided to stick with one dc who I had quite young from a previous relationship, in my early 20's. Now dc is 16 and I CAN NOT get my head around the fact that we may only have a couple more years of dc before they fly the nest! Potentially an empty nest at 40 ☹️

Those of you in the same position or even those who just don't have any dc through choice, please tell me your positive stories. Every time I think about holidays or moving house etc, it's always with dc in mind and it makes me really quite sad to think that they won't be a part of that for much longer.

Dp thinks I'm a little mad and is more in the 'think of the freedom!' camp. No school holidays to work round, no tantrums, no 2 hour night sleep ...but deep down, I just don't feel ready, as lovely as all that sounds. Perhaps I am mad 🤔

Thing is, we've made a decision, so I kind of have to be ready.

Be great to hear all your positive stories! Really trying to get my head in a good place for this.

TIA

Bump 🙂

I'm not there yet but will be in the same position. I will be 40 when DS turns 18 and sits his A levels.

I'm pretty much in the same boat, I could potentially have an empty nest in the next 6/7 years. I like you had both my children young and it does make me a little upset at the thought of it but I just keep telling myself I will have so much freedom by the time I'm 45!

Not as young as you, I’m 50 and our children, 23 & 21 have both left home in 2022. They’re both living and working 3+ hours away and we FaceTime and text all the time. The town we live in doesn’t have much to offer so I don’t blame them (although I did expect them to be older when they moved out). DH and I were talking after they returned to their new homes after having them with us for Christmas about how lovely it is when they’re home but it is nice now that they have gone again. If I had the choice of them left home by 25 or they still live at home aged 40 I’d choose the first option every time. That said, the door is always open for them.

My youngest is 20 & im almost 48. I'm with your dh here. I can't wait for the house to myself.

I'm 40 this year and have 4 and 6-year-olds so completely not in the same position, but I would advise you to look at it from this perspective...

You had DC young so you probably didn't get the same adult freedom in your 20s that people who have kids later do, fun travelling and holidays, properly getting into your own hobbies (for me it was proper running, marathons etc), just living an independent life and relaxing with no responsibilities.... So it's your chance to do that now in your 40s instead of your 20s.

Obviously you may well have had chance to do bits of that (I can't really imagine anything resembling my old life at the moment as DC still young!), but probably not to the same extent when you're still tied to DC school/routines etc.

And also, you may be able to look forward to having DGC young so it will be nice to have a break whilst you get the chance!

I have done the opposite and whilst my oldest son has moved out and is 29 in February - I have a 6 and 2 year old. They are a joy BUT it is such a bind again going back to the beginning.

Not as young as you but still knows what you mean

It's a big change

I always recommend having a plan - what would you like to do with the free time you will get ? Get fit? Run a marathon ? Learn something - language, instrument? Join sone local club or take on some volunteer roles- something that gets you out and meeting people ideally

Allow yourself to feel sad but and look forward to the day when you realise that actually having your home to yourself Is good

You still get to watch them grow and change , you still see them , you still need to be ready with advice (cash) as they fledge

It's a big change but can be good if you take control

Firstly they do flee the nest but they also soften fly back too so you could be a bit older when they have completely gone.
It was really nice for us they are back now), we did lots of M&S meals for two, there was little washing or housework to do. Holidays were great as we’d come home and the house would be the same as we left it. It’s nice meeting up with your adult DC fir coffee or lunch and just chatting away, in a way it becomes more like a friendship. There’s more time for actual friendships too.