Starting a F/T job ... give me your tips of keeping ontop of things at home please

[rubberluck]

So after many years of being a stay at home mum, then getting a casual pt job in our local shop, I've now been given a opportunity in a much better job- only thing is that it is full time. I'm very excited yet nervous about how much of a shambles my house will become 🫣 DH also will be working FT . How do you all keep the plates spinning so that everything getting done ?

Sorry if this sounds silly but I'm genuinely intrigued how all you amazing full time working parents juggle it all. My kids are 11 and 7

I have audhd and work full time, with my adult asd son living at home. I write a job on a post it note on my board in the living room. Each job is broken down into tasks that take between 2 and 10 minutes. Eg, instead of writing clean bathroom, I break it down into clean sink, clean toilet etc. Once a job is done, the note gets moved to the bottom of the board.

This way, nothing is overwhelming and everyone can get involved. You can ask the kids to pick a task to do off the board. Eventually, everything gets done. I only started doing this this week, and my house is already cleaner and tidier.

When I did WFT I finished earlier on a Friday and came home and blitzed the place in a few hours. Then had something easy/takeaway for tea. This worked better in the summer as you feel like you have hours when you come home from work when it’s sunny.

You and your dh sit down and talk through ALL the things that need to happen to make the household run, discuss when they happen, and how it is decided who will do them.
Don't fall into the trap of the massive item of 'everyone fed' being seen as just the act of cooking dinner - someone has thought about the three meals a day, seven days a week, thought about everyones preferences, planned a shopping list, done the shopping, put it away, monitored use by dates (or what someone has snacked on and now leaves nothing for the planned meal), decided what day things are being eaten, for the 7 year old offered breakfast and lunch and negotiated it, then actually cooked it.
And don't swap 'doing the garden' for those tedious day in day out jobs that can't be put off. And one person doesn't get to do all the easy meals like beige or batch cooked out of the freezer
You might want to make things easier for everyone for the first month with a meal plan, booked grocery deliveries against that meal plan, and a jobs list. This isn't a month for anyone visiting who isn't actively helpful, and doing things that aren't totally needed while you all adjust.
Big calendar with everything happening on it and who is responsible for pick ups/ drop offs.

@Mabelface what a great Idea!!! That's so much easier to digest and hopefully makes it easier for kids/ hubby to pitch in when they know what 'clean the bathroom' means! Thanks you

You'll be fine OP 😊...I work FT and am always tired but my DC are 2 and 6, yours I'm guessing sleep through the night/can clean up spilled rice krispies/dress themselves etc etc. Its the lots of little things that are stressful in the mornings in our case.

I make everyone help me tidy up the toys after dinner (DH does the kitchen), and do a deep clean at some point on Saturdays while DH goes to the supermarket with the toddler (DS1 gets to play on the laptop then, as yours are older I'd make them help).

Do a meal plan. Get your shopping delivered. Have a couple of easy meals always ready to go. We have fresh pasta (which you can freeze!) and sauce with cheesy garlic bread).

Get a calendar, write everything down on it. I recently went back to work after a long time as a SAHM and have been surprised at how mentally drained/bogged down I felt with remembering things which previously were second nature.

If money allows, get a cleaner. This is on my 2023 plan. Even a couple of hours a week would make a difference for me as DH works nights (and has ADHD) so our versions of cleaning/tidying don't always align.

1.Don’t try and do everything
2.Make sure your DH does as much as you
3.Train children to do basic stuff
4.Get a cleaner
5.Don’t try and do everything yourself

Dont ask your DH for ‘help’. Its not helping, its doing his share of the tasks.

We batch cook on a Sunday evening so have dinners/lunches in the freezer for the week

we tend to take a big meal for lunch (like a chili and rice or a curry or whatever we’ve made)to eat at work

then so super easy dinners - beans on toast some evenings 😂 or toasties and soup, chicken wraps or else just microwave something we previously batch cooked

makes the evening way easier

I find when we are all out the house at work the house doesn’t get as messy/dirty anyway

also we follow organised mum so only do blasts of house work each day - for example Monday is living room, tuesday bedrooms, weds, hall, thurs kitchen etc
means you stay on top of the hoovering / dusting / clutter but it’s not overwhelming

i have a kallax box thing from ikea and anything left where it shouldn’t goes into the box and everyone in the house has until Friday to take what’s there’s otherwise I give a warning it’s going un the bin - it’s always claimed and put away! 😂

also we make sure everything for the morning is ready night before and bags are at the door, clothes left out - then all that needs to happen is lunches into bags and we leave

Following as I work full time I feel like life is falling apart 😂

Worked full time while bringing up two boys on my own .
Got a cleaner and meal planned .
Didn't have time for all the lovely things like baking and making stuff for school dressing up days etc .
Sometimes had to panic buy from Amazon or 24 hour supermarket for school projects ,or to replace lost pieces of school uniform or sports kit .
In the summer dinner had to be a car picnic en route to night time cricket games etc..
There was never a spare moment and I loved it ...sadly they are now grown up

First stop is as per PP. a sit down with DH. How are WE going to get everything done now we are BOTH working full time. He has to see it and help solve the problems too.

Lower standards, 17 year old cooks one night a week. Either get a cleaner or extra allowance for 17 year old made available if they can clean reliably. 11 year old clears table and loads dishwasher/dries up every evening.

Do a bit of something every day. Even if it's 20 minutes each. Right I'll do the main bathroom whilst you run the vac round downstairs. I'll put a wash on when I get up could you empty it as soon as you get home please etc.