Friday joke................... hee hee!! Not for the prudish.

[Loobie]

Paddy and mick decide to pull all their moneys together to try and get a pint,they realise that they only have 50p between them.

Paddy goes into the butchers and buys a sausage telling a miffed mick to wait and see...

They go in to the first pub,order two pints of guiness promptly down them and return the glasses to the bar.

When asked for the money paddy whips out the sausage puts it in his zip and mick sucks it - they get thrown out the pub onto the street and continue with this fiasco in every pub they go to that night.

Getting ready to enter the 14 pub of the night mick tells paddy he can no longer go on cause his knees are killing him to which paddy replies.....................

Your knees are killing you ?? I lost the sausage after the third pub!!!

oo-er

This useful tool, commonly found in the range of 8" long. The
functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes, is usually
found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts of a
little clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the
other.

In use, it is inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly,
sometimes quickly, into a warm moist opening where it is thrust in and
out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and
accompanied by squirming bodily movements. Anyone listening will most
surely recognise the rhythmic, pulsing sound, resulting from the well
lubricated movements.

When finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white
substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surface of
the opening and some from its long glistening shaft. After everything is
done and the flowing and cleaning liquids have ceased emanating, it is
returned freely to it's hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit
of action, hopefully reaching it's bristling climax twice or three times
a day, but often much less.....

What am I?

(Scroll Down to find out)
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A toothbrush! :O)

pmsl

need another tena

The fact that they are called paddy and mick, drink Guinness and are obsessed with getting booze just feels like all those old Irish jokes to me.

Resurrection of a 20 year old thread!!!!!!!!

Well I hope in the intervening 20 years people have realised this shit is unacceptable.

The Irish always seem fair game. 🙄

Haha I never spotted that!