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Original poster

Unhackable parental control app? DD cracked Family Link.

25 replies

Kalasbyxor · 07/01/2023 06:31

Checked Family Link on my phone last night to make sure 'bedtime' phone lock had kicked in (I check every evening and morning, never had a problem before). Noticed it still said 'unlocked', so checked in with DD who was in bed and appeared surprised and said she hadn't noticed phone was still on. Looked at my Family Link interface and saw all bedtimes for the week were blank, so reset them. DC's bedroom dark and silent, so assumed she had gone to sleep.

I was up late working, but checked the app as I was finishing up, only to find bedtimes disabled again. Thought I might not have clicked 'save' when resetting earlier, so I reset it again, double checked app now stated "Locked" with the correct timings displayed, and went to bed (1.30am). Woke up at 5 with purring cat on chest, so thought I'd quickly check Family Link app again -bloody unlocked again.

I can only conclude DD (12) has figured out how to override it. Shit.

Quick Google of 'can my child override Family Link?' throws up squillions of How To... hits, many apparently posted by creators of other parental control apps ("Here's how your child can bypass Family Link -detailed instructions- and this is why you need our app!). Sneaky.

Does anyone use a seemingly unhackable parental control app on android, and what is it?

OP posts:

Rookriver · 07/01/2023 06:42

Take the phone away from her at bedtime? She won't like it but if she's going to hack parental controls...

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 07/01/2023 07:31

Phones and iPads downstairs at night.
If the dc need them for stories or alarms, they can use stripped down old phones for this purpose.

user143677433 · 07/01/2023 07:35

I think the app is the least of your problems! Surely you’ll be addressing her behaviour. I’m a pretty lenient parent but even for me that would be an immediate loss of devices and a need to earn them back through building up trust.

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BendingSpoons · 07/01/2023 07:42

So she hacked it 3 times including between 1.30 and 5am? She is pretty committed to being on the phone. I don't know any apps, but I'd be wary of her figuring out another one.

Celeryfavour · 07/01/2023 07:47

What does she do on her phone all night? That's a real addiction.

Squiblet · 07/01/2023 07:55

When they turn 13 Family Link gives them the right to take control of their own phone, so you couldn't have relied on it for much longer anyway. It's a legal thing.

When DS turned 13, we gave him a choice: phone with FL enabled, or no phone at all ... although we did compromise and let him have access to more apps than before.

BertieBotts · 07/01/2023 07:55

Parental controls IME don't work if you're trying to use them like a jail. There won't be anything that's unhackable.

Use it as a tool in conjunction with discussing with your child and coming to agreements on what is reasonable. Then the control is a reminder of what they agreed to, rather than a challenge.

I agree that physically removing the phone or having it left somewhere else (e.g. charging on kitchen counter) overnight is also a good solution. This is also a good fire safety measure since cheap phone chargers are a common source of house fires, and a kitchen is much less flammable generally than a bedroom.

If you're struggling with how to have productive discussions I recommend the approach in Raising Human Beings by Ross Greene. How To Talk So Teens Will Listen is also a good option.

SeeminglyAbsurd · 07/01/2023 07:58

We are able to go into our plusnet account and set internet timings for individual devices. Is that an option for you?

DelilahBucket · 07/01/2023 08:01

I have a fantastic unhackable parental control. The phone is removed. Can't be trusted? No phone. Simple. Actions have consequences and you need to show some of that.

BakewellGin1 · 07/01/2023 08:03

On my sons phone on settings it has a digital balance option which can be passworded and altered for certain apps if wanted. I set it. Picked a random number and locked it. Try looking for that maybe

Original poster

Kalasbyxor · 07/01/2023 08:08

Rook and Ibiza, yes, phone in my room over night from now on. I've never had a problem before and I'm a committed checker of that app for all sorts of control tweaks, so would know immediately if anything was out of the ordinary. This has come out of the blue.

Celery and Bending, she was worried about a friend yesterday evening and desperate to check on her, but friend was not responding to messages (which made it worse). I think she might have anticipated 'app bedtime' and googled a workaround in advance, so she'd still be able to receive a message if her friend decided to contact her. She came in to tell me about how worried she was first thing this morning, so I let her tell me, but I'll save the app-hack chat until after breakfast. Friend has form for drama and DD is a worrier, so not a great combo.

OP posts:

Natsku · 07/01/2023 08:20

For that reason I would not come down hard on her* but talk about the importance of limits on screen time and that's why you use family link. Say you'll be keeping phone out of her room at bedtime from now on because its important that she sleeps but tell her to talk to you if she's worried about a friend so you can discuss the worry together and reassure her.

*unlike when my DD was using the tablet, which she had in her room for audiobooks at bedtime, but she was getting up in the middle of the night to watch youtube and then so tired in school her teacher sent her to the school nurse very concerned!

vivaespanaole · 07/01/2023 08:22

On family link it will tell you when the phone was last used and what apps they went on.

So that should provide the info you need to prove she found a way to bypass.

Clymene · 07/01/2023 08:27

DelilahBucket · 07/01/2023 08:01

I have a fantastic unhackable parental control. The phone is removed. Can't be trusted? No phone. Simple. Actions have consequences and you need to show some of that.

It's always worked for me. Actually phones stay downstairs. For everyone

BendingSpoons · 07/01/2023 08:28

Your update would make me more understanding. Yes she shouldn't have hacked it, and yes this could become an ongoing issue going forward, but in fairness if I was worried about someone close to me I would keep my phone on loud. (I'm not saying she should have at 12, but I can understand why she did).

I think you've done the right thing talking about her feelings first. If this is the first time ever, can you discuss together what to do going forward? It would be great if she could talk to you about when she is really worried and you could agree a plan together. Although of course she may still try to hack it of your plan is not to let her keep her phone on!

Kareah · 07/01/2023 08:35

I agree parental control apps do not work. They can all be hacked.
Parental controls should really be mutual agreement with your DC as well.
Never took phones or pads or computers away from them either.
Figured if up late messing about on them a few zombie days as natural consequences teach the lesson of good sleep hygiene better than all my whinging at them and taking phones away.
And it worked…after initial period where they learned self-regulation, didn’t have any issues. This gives them freedom too to make exceptions as needed for friends and what not. Also meant they were never afraid to tell me what is going on if they’d been up half the night calming down a distressed friend.

I wouldn’t punish your DD. I’d make noises about you might have a future as a cybercrime or cybersecurity career given your hacking skills. I’d also tell her good for being there for a friend. I’d compliment her on her good sense and say she’s outgrown parental apps and you trust her to have her phone.

BookedOut · 07/01/2023 08:44

I’d chat with her about why, be understanding, but also be clear that as a parent you need to protect her from the drama. Of which there is a lot in Y8 and Y9. Be clear that she can blame you and be rude about you to her friends on how you don’t understand and have put strict controls in her phone and it’s so unfair. But be clear to her that it’s so she can always have a break, an excuse not to engage all night, and restful sleep.

You might want to consider Qustodio, it’s a bit buggy but has been effective for us so far, combined with the Apple inbuilt controls. But it really is also about the conversation and getting her understanding, there are always workarounds like having a secret phone with a cheap sim.

Original poster

Kalasbyxor · 07/01/2023 08:49

viva, I did check to see if there was any activity on the phone and refresh the display; no apps used, zero minutes, which is why I thought it was my mistake, or maybe a wifi glitch, as she wasn't actually using the phone. But she would have been able to receive a notification if her friend had messaged her back during the night. Her friend is going through a lot and DD has good reason to worry, but I didn't expect her to go to these lengths to override the app.
Seemingly, we are on Plusnet, so will check this out.
Bertie, thank you. I don't think I'm trying to be too restrictive about it though, it's just the shutting down of the phone at night that I'm strict about, the rest is just monitoring and keeping a bit informed, she's got most apps she's interested in, but has quite basic requirements (no TikTok or similar) and I can see how much time she spends on them. DD is my first in this age range, so will check out the book recommendations.

OP posts:

Original poster

Kalasbyxor · 07/01/2023 09:05

Kareah, your DC sound very sensible! I'm not sure DD quite has the maturity or impulse control to regulate herself to the extent you suggest. Yet. She's ND and gets quite fixated on things, and in this case, entirely over-estimates her capacity to support said friend. But her heart is in the right place.

OP posts:

AnotherFamilyUpset · 07/01/2023 09:11

My daughter's Huawai phone kept turning off the parental controls by itself. It was a bug with the system from that manufacturer and started very randomly after an update. So it might not be your daughter or she might be utilising a loop hole that has appeared rather than purposely hacking??

Either way, we've always said that devices stay downstairs at all times. Our daughter can use the dining room (a bit cold so naturally limits this as a choice of a more private location), but it leads to the kitchen so we're in/out.

Talking is key though.

Kareah · 07/01/2023 09:54

Kalasbyxor · 07/01/2023 09:05

Thank you, I do want to stress they were not sensible to begin with. There were quite a few zombie days where they had been up all night surfing the web or gaming or chatting or watching videos. They still had to go to school, get homework done, chores…I cut them zero slack. After a few binge nights over a few months, they got the hang of it and self-regulated.

I wouldn’t recommend if your DD’s ND is ADHD though! That tends to need medication before they can self-regulate.

Satoutsidebandm · 29/12/2023 14:53

I want a parental control app the stops my daughter watching inane videos on the internet but does not limit her acces to Spotify and messaging her friends. Any suggestions ?

BookedOut · 29/12/2023 15:03

@Satoutsidebandm Qustodio will do that, but it’s annoying to set up

filka · 29/12/2023 15:16

SeeminglyAbsurd · 07/01/2023 07:58

We are able to go into our plusnet account and set internet timings for individual devices. Is that an option for you?

I think this will stop her using the WiFi, but if the phone has data package she will just switch to that and carry on...

maddie444 · 06/08/2024 13:07

I tried Questido kids and my daughter couldn't find a way to hack it.

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