Screen Time. Am I being too strict?

[QuackQuackThwack]

My DSs are 13 and 11 (youngest still in Yr6); they are both diagnosed with ASD and ADHD.

During term time , they are only allowed screens 2 evenings mid week and at weekends in the am and pm (not all day). They both play football after school 2-3 nights per week plus matches.

The younger one especially needs something to focus on or he gets very bored very quickly but he struggles to engage with crafts, board games and such like due to his lack of focus.

Both boys are already complaining about the return to routine and would like more time to game during the week. Both boys are a nightmare transitioning from coming off to do other things so frankly, the impending arguments are making me say no.

OTOH, I do also think I need to give them a chance to be trusted and earn the privilege of monitoring their own time. We would need to use visual timers and such like if I were to agree to more gaming.

How often do you allow your tweens/young teens to game mid week? Am I being too tight with the screen time?

My eldest has ASD and his main focus was games and computing in general in his teens. I never restricted his screen time. His interest in games led him to learning about and building better computers to play those games. He made online friends who he's still in contact with a decade later. He took a degree in computer engineering and now has a success career in the field.

I mean I disagree unfortunately. People make a big fuss of how sims is the same as colouring/Minecraft is no different to Lego, but in my opinion that’s untrue. I don’t think a child gets from a sims video game what they do from sitting down to draw and make their own comic book. I don’t think building a Lego set is comparable to sitting tuned into Minecraft. I don’t think any video game is comparable to playing But obviously that’s just my opinion - we’re all different at the end of the day!

Spending hours every night on video games did me no harm in the 80s and 90s - probably better for me than watching tv as it engaged my brain.

We don’t impose strict limits it makes them focus on it and obsess over it even more.

They have after school activities several nights per week, plus two hours of homework a day. By the time that’s done and they have dinner and bath there isn’t much time for excessive screen time anyway.

Eldest is autistic and 13. We do manage his time on screens because it affects his behaviour, mood and his sleep. Each child is different so you have to do what suits your individual child. One of DS good friends is NT and isn’t allowed his console on a school night. He definitely resents having the strictest parents about it.

I think that by 13 you ought to be letting them practice self-regulation. I imagine they are missing a lot of social interactions with peers, which must be frustrating for them.

Despite having always been limited to an hour a day and having screen-free days every week, our autistic ds is totally obsessed with gaming and has been for years.

I am trying to change my mindset to be more positive about it as it's actually a way that he connects with friends, it helps him unwind if he's stressed or anxious, and he genuinely enjoys it and it makes him feel good.

If anything his behaviour is worse when we limit his screen time more, and he's happier and more relaxed if he's been allowed to immerse himself in it for longer.