Really need some tips or reassurance please!
I have two kids, an almost 4YO and a 8 month old daughter. My son is very bright, chatty and has a brilliant memory. I feel like his behaviour has declined since the birth of his sister, and he continues to test me almost every day. I’ve become a shouty mum as a result and he clearly prefers his dad over me in every way.
The main problem is that he is not conventionally naughty. He’s not aggressive, he doesn’t misbehave but he is really rude, and he deliberately doesn’t listen when I ask him to do
something, or he will hear me, look me directly in the eye and continue doing it. He copies our words/our actions and throws them back in our face. He’s always threatening me. He uses very grown up language correctly in context. His range of vocabulary is fantastic. He sighs constantly, he says ‘alright alright’ whenever I ask him to do something. Honestly it’s like I’m trying to negotiate with a teenager. It’s got to the point where every family members are raising eyebrows and going ‘oh wow where’s he got that from??’
He can be sweet but honestly, I’m really fed up of the talking back, the attitude. I’m stuck for proper examples, there are times where I’ve been shocked at his language (never swearing, just rudeness!). I even catch him doing role-play with his toys like this.
Everyday I try to start with a clean slate and make a vow not to get angry, but within a few hours he’s being cheeky again. It doesn’t help
that I lose my rag and he’s absorbing it all and thinks it’s the right way to communicate. He said he doesn’t like me and wants me to go away so he can have a new mummy.
I’m fully aware that a lot of this is my fault and now I need tips on how to undo this shit parenting. I can’t have specific one on one time with him as my partner works and I have no childcare. Also skint from Christmas.
Any tips/reassurances/solidarity would be massively helpful, thank you.