Explain having a cleaner to me like I'm an idiot

[housemaus]

I have got a cleaner coming tomorrow for the first time.

I am now unreasonably stressed about said cleaner coming and having a cleaner generally haha.

The first thing is: the cleaner is my mum. She's a cleaner anyway, and when we mentioned we were going to get someone she said she'd do it. I'd rather she had the money than anyone else, our pets are already comfortable with her, and we can be way more flexible with each other than if I went through another company, so it's a win all round in that sense.

We're paying her what her other clients pay, although she offered to do it for free, because I want her to treat it like any other client. So... what do other clients do? I WFH some of the time - should I go to the office when she's coming? Do any cleaners here hate it when their client is home? Should I specify anything particular that needs doing or just let her crack on?

We're mostly getting a cleaner because we're both ridiculously busy and both ridiculously messy, so it was a good excuse for us to make sure it's tidy ahead of it being cleaned, and to remove some pressure off us.

I'm not expecting it to be especially sparkling, just how it'd be if I cleaned it. She mentioned staying late at one client's because the house was too big to get done in the time she had allocated, and I don't want her to do that ever at ours - if something didn't get finished in the couple of hours she was here I wouldn't be bothered. I'm not expecting the skirting boards dusted every week or whatever - in case it wasn't obvious, I am not especially domestically-minded myself!

So... apart from make sure it's tidy, possibly stay out of her way, and make sure there's milk so she can have a brew, what do I need to know? Any cleaners here who have pet hates from their clients?

My mum and I get on well most of the time, but I feel so weird about this now it's actually happening - like I want to be a good client/not expect too much/glad I am in a position to have the option to help my mum out with extra work and benefit myself... and also like a naughty kid whose mum might judge the state of her spare room 😂

I usually work from home when my cleaner is coming but I do have an office so I'm out the way, if you are now then I'd go to the office.

I have a quick chat when she arrives and if there is anything in particular I want done I'll ask her then but I feel awkward about it too so generally just let her crack on. She knows I just want a general clean so thats what she does. She did come in a few weeks ago an extra time to do skirting boards but she can't normally fit that in the time she is here. I so love a cleaner day......

I've had a cleaner before.

Don't worry about cleaning stuff ahead of time, that's what they're coming to do. Do tell them anything you DON'T want them to clean, move or put away - I found this just as important as what you do want them to do.

In terms of hours you want vs what you want done, the first session will tell whether the time you have allocated sufficient - obviously it's your mum, so I'm sure she will tell you if it's not enough time. It's unreasonable to expect perfect cleaning if you aren't paying for enough hours.

It'll be fine.

Ooh that's a bit odd.

BUT in general we:

tidy before they come so they can actually clean (forces us to do a tidy - we are messy),
give a list of what you want, either on paper/text/in person.
Give a list of what you don't want (we don't want a 'proper' making of the bed as to us that's wasting time making stuff look pretty)
Leave money out in obvious place.
I vacate rooms when WFH and take laptop to perch elsewhere to give them space.

Whether you stay will to a certain extent depend on how the cleaner works. I expected ours to do one room to the finish and then move on - so keeping out of the way would be easy. But she went through the while house dusting and wiping each room, then moving things that needed moving (eg chairs out from under the table) , then she would go round the whole house again and vac and a last round to put furniture back.

Well, with my cleaner I spend a few minutes at the start to say hi, and go over anything special that needs doing (for instance if we will be having overnight guests so the spare room needs a bed change and a deep clean, then I shut myself in the office.
When we had less hours there was a priority list of things that always needed doing (kitchen surfaces, floor, bathrooms) and then a 'pick one' list for the last 20min (as it worked out) - high dusting, a kitchen cupboard wipe out, skirting boards, inside windows or whatever. But the expectation that (at least to me) deep cleaning things weren't to happen at the expense of cleaning the bathroom, or going over time

I think our house is a similar state to yours. Our cleaner does 1.5 hours weekly, doing kitchen and bathrooms each week and hoover upstairs and mop downstairs alternately. I ensure relevant surfaces are clear (e.g. toys on sofa and toys out bath, and any dishes piled neatly) but it doesn't have to be 'tidy'. I sometimes ask her to do something additional 'if she has time' e.g. wipe light switches etc.

If I'm wfh I'll move out of that room while she hoovers but rarely an issue.

Thank you all! Mega useful. I think I'd be panicking just as much if it wasn't my mum, because it feels a bit too alien and grown up for my mid-thirties self (and, stupidly, middle-class-seeming for my working class upbringing, which I think is making me feel weird too - especially because it's my mum!)

the expectation that (at least to me) deep cleaning things weren't to happen at the expense of cleaning the bathroom, or going over time these are my sentiments exactly CMOT - I'll be absolutely delighted to just have the general stuff done, the deep cleaning things aren't really why we're doing this so I'm not fussed if they're much less frequent or don't happen at all.

I'm probably also overthinking it - I just felt a bit odd about the dynamic of it, but she's a straight talker - if she said "you live like animals and I won't have time to do half of this" I wouldn't mind 😂

I find this post so odd. I can't understand why you would ask on here rather than ask her yourself. You said you get on. I'm not trying to be annoying I genuinely don't understand.

Nah I get you! I felt odd writing it, haha. I'm definitely just massively overthinking it - we do get on mostly and have for the last 10 years but we didn't always in the past and I'm probably (definitely) a bit over sensitive when it comes to her and her opinion.

I know that's ridiculous - she offered, she 100% wouldn't have if she didn't want to or thought it was weird - but I was worrying about her thinking we're ridiculously extravagant wanting someone to clean our house at all, worrying that it'll be awkward because she's my mum and I'm 'employing' her, worrying that she'll think I'm a slattern, worrying that if she turned up and it wasn't spotless she'd think I was taking the piss (you see a lot of posts with people joking they clean before the cleaner comes etc!).

Basically the answer is: I overthink everything but I appreciate people being patient with me while I got over it!🙃

DH is always there but his office is tiny so the cleaner skips it unless he is on a trip away and there is acutal space she can clean.

We tidy the evening before and make beds in the morning. I also put any washing I didn't manage to put aside on my bed instead of leaving the crates on the floor (happens when we are away on Sundays for a day out for example).

All washing up is done as well so the kitchen surfaces are clear.

When I am at home she can't clean the guest bedroom where I work as I work with confidential data and can't move my set-up easily. So that's normally done every two weeks only.

We say good morning, check with her if there is anything we need extra or special. We make her a cup of coffee and then let her crack on. She has a 15 minute break in the 4 hours she does.

At the end she will mention if any cleaning supply is runnign low.

i wouldn't clean before a cleaner comes but i would ensure things like an obvious spill was mopped up/sticky bit on worktop.
and obviously that the toilet showed no evidence of having been used.

I work in my bedroom when cleaner comes and keep out of the way (and generally go out for a walk/coffee during the time). else its weird.

The world's least anticipated update, but: it was all absolutely fine, she told me off for how tidy/clean it was when she first came haha (she knows full well it's not like that usually and that I'd made the effort!) and she made a point to ask if there was anything specific we wanted doing so she could factor it in.

As for WFH at the same time - DH keeps his office door shut cos he has to, but pops out to say hi (we joke that he is her favourite child) when he gets a break and I keep my door open unless I've got a meeting because she likes to chat to me while I work (which is fine - I work for myself so I can slack off for a bit!). So it's actually quite nice - we've only got on well the last few years for various reasons so I always feel grateful for time we spend together that's easy and nice.

And I feel very happy to have a clean house! It's really helping us keep on top of it. A win all round - thanks all for talking me through something that didn't really require assistance, haha 😊

Aw that's glad that it all worked out.