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Original poster

Baby won’t take a bottle - trapped!

20 replies

37anddone · 05/01/2023 11:38

My five month old is EBF.

I now want them to take a bottle. Twofold really - I will need to return to work shortly, but I also would like to be able to leave the baby for more than a couple of hours at a time so I can do… anything really. Swim, meet a friend, go out for dinner.

The baby is having none of it. I’ve tried various bottle brands. A cup. A straw. When hungry, when relaxed. In the morning, in the evening. Breast milk, formula. Warm, cold. On the move. Other people. You name it…!

I’m feeling totally trapped and unsure what to do next.

Feeling increasingly resentful of DH’s ability to just plan days out at the football, meet mates at the pub and so on, when I can’t leave the baby.

Has anyone got any other solutions which worked for them? Thank you

OP posts:

popandchoc · 05/01/2023 11:41

I never got my two to take bottles. I would feed them and leave them up to 3 hours or so at that age and my mum was very good and comfort in other ways etc. I knew they weren't starving in 3 hours. When they get to 6 months and eating it makes it easier as can give them other stuff between feeds which means they go longer between.

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 05/01/2023 11:42

My DS was like this and I was a first time mum. In the end I had to grit my teeth and not give in - it was bottle or starve. Not a pretty couple of days for either of us but he’s 32 now and not showing any signs of long term damage.

DD got the cold shoulder when she bit my nipple. Handed her and a bottle over to my DM and walked out. I was quite insulted that she didn’t put up much of a battle.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 05/01/2023 11:42

From experience, it can take quite a while. When mine were both 5 months I just wasn’t producing enough milk, but it probably took at least 2 weeks of constant daily trying for them to accept it. The relief when they finally did, was enormous.

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Nsenene · 05/01/2023 11:50

My youngest has never taken a bottle. He's 8 months now and will take a bit of milk from a cup and will eat so I can leave him several hours. He also does most of his breastfeeding at night now.
Even with a bottle refuser, it gets easier to leave them very quickly!

Trymein · 05/01/2023 11:54

Are you giving the bottle or your partner? I found it was easier if my partner did it as they couldn’t smell the milk.

Frenchfancy · 05/01/2023 11:57

Keep trying different formulas. I went through about 5 different ones before finding one that DD would take. (Babynat organic)

wishuponastar1988 · 05/01/2023 11:58

My baby can be hit and miss with a bottle but I found it useful to let her play around with the teat when she was refusing. I'd put an empty bottle to her mouth whilst I was holding her/singing to her so then she associated it with fun/feeling safe. Seemed to work as then she started to take it although she prefers to be breastfed she does consistently have one bottle at night and I'm working on increasing this.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 05/01/2023 12:00

Formula is minging. My EBF baby never took a bottle either. I went back to work at 8 months, he just had a feed before and a feed after work by then (since 7 months when he was reliably eating food!).

Your husband needs to step up and help with bottles. Your baby won’t take it from you but he will from his dad. Make plans for an evening and go out and dad can deal with it.

ISeeTheLight · 05/01/2023 12:00

DD was EBF and then I went back to work when she was 5.5 months. We never managed to get her to take a bottle at home before that (screaming non stop).

At nursery, they sorted it within a day. They swaddled her and eventually she accepted the bottle (expressed milk so same taste). She did after a month or so also accept bottles from me at home.

I remember being extremely anxious and worried about it. And it was all fine. So don't worry OP. We used Philips Avent bottles (the "natural" ones with the wider teats).

I would try the same, swaddle, but ideally from someone who's NOT you and you'd need to go out for a full day so baby knows you're not an option. Good luck!

Kokeshi123 · 05/01/2023 12:06

Just start food - breastmilk or formula mixed with baby cereal, and a spoonful or two of water. That is what we did. The best thing is that the solid-feeding is getting done by someone else (grandma/dad/babysitter) and they can clean up the mess!

You can also try breastmilk or formula in an open cup, and off a spoon.

If your baby is going to start nursery fulltime very soon, they will figure out how to get him to take a bottle. If he is not due to start for a few more months, I'd let them sort out the issue their own way - most likely they will get him to take a straw or sippy cup. As time goes on, it is less and less worthwhile bothering with bottles, because you are supposed to wean them off bottles at around 12mo anyway.

MincePiesAreMyJam · 05/01/2023 12:23

I had to leave a 5 month old who had never had a bottle (not for lack of trying!) with a childminder when I went back to work. Took less than a day before he gave in and decided that this was acceptable. After about a month he would then consent to take a bottle from us as well.

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 05/01/2023 12:34

My middle DC wouldn’t take a bottle either, but I had to leave her regardless, as I had to go to work. Started trying at 3 weeks old as I knew I’d need her to take one. No joy, It was my milk not formula so I knew the taste wasn’t different. Tried the syringe, the cup, all the teats. She didn’t seem to know how to suck from them and it would just dribble down her chin and she would scream the place down. It took three weeks of trying at least twice a day/night and then me actually leaving her to go to work for her to finally accept being fed by someone else and it was the spouted cup in the end. So she was on a tiny cup or two during the day by six weeks and then feeding constantly throughout the nights to make up for it. Do not recommend.

Original poster

37anddone · 05/01/2023 17:00

Not enormously promising replies… sounds as though I will just need to let him be miserable for a day.

@Kokeshi123 I might try some food - then at least I know they’re getting something.

@ChiefWiggumsBoy @Trymein they have tried but probably give up
too easily.

So I just need to go out and leave DH to it? Think he’s going to be pretty annoyed by hours of screaming…!

They don’t tell you this bit when they’re singing the praises of breastfeeding.

OP posts:

Original poster

37anddone · 05/01/2023 17:01

@LadyGardenersQuestionTime feels so mean to opt to let them starve - but I’m feeling there may be no alternative.

OP posts:

KangarooKenny · 05/01/2023 17:02

I had this with one of mine. Had to start him on a sippy cup early.

trampoline123 · 05/01/2023 17:09

I never had this issue but if it were me I'd get someone else to try and go out the room each time.

I'd also let them get a bit hungry and try.

ThalhavaraGoter · 05/01/2023 17:18

So I just need to go out and leave DH to it? Think he’s going to be pretty annoyed by hours of screaming…!

Yes, your baby expects to be breastfed by you but not by your Dh. This is how he feeds with Dh, from a bottle. Your Dh needs to suck it up and just crack on. Tough shit if he gets annoyed, he will need to work on his response to his child being in distress. You have been feeding your child for 5 months. he needs to take a turn.

Bramshott · 05/01/2023 17:28

Neither of mine ever would really drink much from a bottle. We started weaning a bit early ahead of my return to work because of this (15+ years ago so it was a bit less frowned on then than it is now!). They had milk mixed into their food, BF morning and evening, and an afternoon bottle that they mostly just played with...

Ponderingwindow · 05/01/2023 17:42

if there is a second parent, that parent will likely have more success. with dd it became clear pretty quickly that bottles were a non-starter so we just kept trying every sippy cup we
could find. It took several months until we found one she would use.

I also recommend using freshly pumped milk with each attempt so that there are no issues with temperature or freshness. dd was never a fan of any milk that came out of the freezer.

Topsy44 · 05/01/2023 17:51

I feel your pain. My Dd (now 10) was a bottle refuser and it was a bit of a nightmare as she wasn’t getting enough milk from me either!!

In the end I went out for the day and my DH just kept trying the bottle with her. He said she finally cracked when he put his little finger in her mouth first and then she took the bottle. She may have just been exhausted and decided to give in at that point but it might be worth a try.

At 10 years old, she’s still a stubborn thing now but lovely too! Good luck!!

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