Wish I’d have never terminated

[Mummysauruss]

I had a termination last autumn. October. I had a 10month old at the time - he’s 1 now

I instantly felt guilty. Thought I couldn’t do such an age gap and financially we couldn’t really. Our son goes to nursery most of the week due to only having 1 grandparent who can help. The other helps on weekends if we need but our working hours are Monday-Friday.

Mentally I’d struggle too. I’ve suffered with mental health since I was a teenager but it was just getting stable again when I had gotten pregnant accidentally.

it’s only since he turned 1 I feel I want another but I know circumstances are the same

but the guilt is insane I feel so guilty and horrible. My mind is going 100mph and I try to drown it out. I never addressed what I done and I feel like a monster :(

especially since lately I’ve seen quite a few people announce pregnancies and due around when I would have been

Aw bless you. I don’t have any advice but didn’t want to read and run.
Be kind to yourself. You did the right thing at the time and maybe sometime in the future you can have a baby and it will be the right time.
💐

You are not a monster
You made the best and right decision for you at the time
See a therapist and forgive yourself
You have a child to focus on that child needs you to be well

Termination regret is not unusual, even if you know it was the right thing to do. It can also take some time to fully 'get over'. Mine was decades ago and I've still not made absolute peace with it, but I am resolute that it was the right decision - just one I didn't want to have to make. Be kind to yourself.

There is help out there for post abortion regret. Therapy. You might find it helpful. Wishing you peace.

You made the decision that suited you at that time, therefore it was the right decision for you.
You cant change the past but you sound like you need support with moving forward.
I agree with others therapy could help you.
I know it's easy to say but dont beat yourself up, get help sooner rather than later and try to mentally live in the present with your ds rather than living in the past with what might have been.
I wish you well.