Should I use the beautiful diary?

[BenoitBlanc]

For Christmas, a friend game me a diary. It's a beautiful linen-bound thing with thick, cream pages and lots of lovely art and habit-tracking doodles and reminders to meditate and achieve my goals etc. It was an especially thoughtful gift as I'm going back to university this year and will have a lot to keep track of.

Here's the problem:

1. I am paralysed by the idea of scrawling my kids orthodontist appointments into this beautiful book.
2. Also, I have enough to do without having to remember to track my mood, achieve my goals and colour-code my healthy habits.
3. But if I don't, it will go to waste. It's a 2023 diary.
4. So I should give it to a charity shop ASAP and someone who will enjoy it can have it!
5. But I'm spending a week with my friend in February and she'll see that I'm not using it.

Help me make this inconsequential decision. What should I do with the beautiful diary?

Use it. As others have said saving things for “best” is something to avoid, we do it because we don’t think we are worthy of using beautiful things, but we are, we really are. My bed linen for example is mostly vintage linen, bought on eBay, absolutely fabulous stuff , but so much of it arrived pristine and unused, often in the original packaging, even though some of it was over 70 years old ( wartime utility mark dated some of it) , clearly been kept ‘for best’ , but ‘best’ never happened. It makes me quite sad to think of things languishing in drawers and cupboards not being enjoyed and not fulfilling their purpose. If nothing else it’s wasteful of resources not to use the things we have that are already made.

What did you think people would say? Of course you should use it, how odd and rude to your friend to consider giving it to a charity shop when you think it's beautiful.

The world is definitely divided into people who use nice things and those who save them for best (I'm like you in the latter group). I have one of each type of daughter.

The problem is the savers like us never get to enjoy the fancy soap, posh chocolate ... I quite admire my daughter who does. A diary makes you realise the futility of saving.

I went on a session about journaling last night and we were given a lovely book - she made us write 3 pages with specified exercises straight away so that it was already ruined!

Some days you might write little more than appointments, some days you might feel like writing your innermost thoughts

This diary sounds beautiful and right up my street! Don't suppose you know the brand?

I cleared out my dads flat when he went into a care home with dementia.

There were boxes of “nice things” he never used, really nice jumpers I had bought him that he was saving for best, still with the tags on, things he would have enjoyed using or I would have enjoyed as a child, still in boxes but “saved” incase they were worth something one day (all worthless). Pretty much all of it went to a charity shop.

It was a harsh lesson for me, I went home and wore the nice jumper I’d been saving for best - I never bloody go anywhere to wear it, it would have sat in my wardrobe for years more - and just did the house work and walked the dog and enjoyed it.

Use things and enjoy them because “best” will probably never come.

I must say if a friend gave me a diary with reminders to meditate and achieve my goals, I'd think they'd gone mad, but maybe it's more appropriate to you. If this were mine, I would just use it for what is useful to me and not feel bad about ignoring the rest.

Its a diary, not a faberge egg

Love this line!

But it's not thoughtful. A diary/organisation system is a very personal thing. It could be too big/small, the layout not to the OPs taste or the habits not what she wants to track. What works for one person doesn't for another and using it could tie the OP to a year of irritation of using a diary that doesn't suit her needs.

Life is short. Use it.

Absolutely agree with this. A diary is so personal that it’s almost certain to be wrong in one way or another if you don’t choose it for yourself.

I'd just use it how I wanted to, including doodling etc. You don't have to add mindfulness stuff- use it for shopping lists or something.

If you usually use a paper diary, it will be easy to use. If not, use it to make your shopping lists. Upcoming party? Use it to menu plan. Traveling? Use it to note ideas.

Diaries are there to aid day-to-day living. Your friend have you s thoughtful gift that you are worthy of receiving, regardless of how you use it.

If you genuinely can't conceive using it, by all means give it to a charity shop.

You are under no obligation to use it or to have your friends watch that it has been used by you.

All the best

My motto is

'Burn the candle, wear the perfume'

And now I will add

'Write in the diary'

It depends. If you want to use it, but are worried about ruining it, then use it. You totally deserve it.

if you’re not really a journal person, and this would be another thing on your ‘to do’ list because you think you should use it, take it go the charity ship.

There's beauty in the ordinary- including hand-written dental appointments.

On the other hand, if OP hasn't really used a paper diary much before, she won't already know what she finds useful in a diary. If she finds through using this gift that she does get on with keeping a paper diary, the fact that it's one that someone else chose means it's probably a good way to work out what features she does or doesn't like in a diary. There might be features she finds useful that she never would've predicted herself that she'd like, or things about it that are so far from what she'd choose that she knows she definitely doesn't want that again. All packaged up in a feeling of social obligation to at least try out its features.

@BenoitBlanc - if you could share the brand this is something that sounds perfect for my friend!

Use the diary, every time you get it out you can appreciate and take joy in its beauty. Don't let it pressure you, use it however suits your lifestyle the best.

Use it OP, though I’m here to say I completely understand. I have many beautiful diaries (luckily not dated) and stationary that I cannot bear to write in.

Just use it. I used to be awful for doing this with things and it's just such a needless waste. I make a point of cracking into new things straight away now and it works well for me.

There's absolutely no sense in giving it to the charity shop when someone spent money on it as a gift and you like the gift. Most people will have their diary for the New Year already anyway and I just can't work out the logic of feeling guilty about using your own possessions but not about giving a thoughtful gift someone spent money on, to the charity shop for no real reason.

You don't have to use every function of the diary or track anything you aren't interested in tracking, these things aren't obligatory. Mine has all sorts going on in it that I don't utilise, stickers and various views of the week/month/year. I only use the week to view and the to-do lists.

I'd stop looking for issues where there don't need to be any OP. Use it how you want, as a normal diary and enjoy it. I don't take my diary out with me and I'm not sure I'd ever organically have it out if I were spending time with other people, your friend isn't going to be expecting you to showboat yourself filling out a diary in front of her because she bought it, or checking up on exactly how you use it, that would be more than a little odd! In the nicest possible way I couldn't care less what people do with the gifts I give them, albeit I hope they like them.

Use it! Allow it to be messy and imperfect and use it!

Going against the grain here, but if it feels stressful, just sell it / donate it. I love a good planner as much as the next person, but I am disproportionately irritated by helpful reminders to be productive and mindful and hydrated, and it would probably enrage me every time I turned the page. Life is hard enough, you don't need to put up with with feeling harassed by your stationery items! Get something a bit more minimalist from Ryman's and crack on with your New Year angst-free.

Life is hard enough, you don't need to put up with with feeling harassed by your stationery items!

Great line!

This is a perfect motto.

And very little in life is more important than your children's orthodentist appointments.

I understand. I am really quite fussy about my diary (but I have a decades long habit,) and it's unlikely people would know about my requirements. I also have notebooks I haven't used because I'm waiting for a suitable use because they're too nice for every day, but at least a notebook isn't date-dependent.

But it should be used, so if you can't, someone else should have the opportunity.

Use it. But don’t get bogged down in aesthetics.

I use the bullet journal method for work and could go all out. But I recognise my inner perfectionist would have me ripping pages out if I made a mistake, and spending hours making it beautiful. I actually need it to track work and tasks! So I don’t. I use a black biro, I tag certain pages with labels and washi tape but that’s it. I don’t draw banners or colour it in, and I use highlighter to highlight stuff.

Use the nice things you have in life.