Need to lose weight but I have a history of eating disorders

[ICriedAllTheWayToTheChipShop]

Just that, really, but I was wondering if anyone has successfully managed a similar situation?

For further background, I suffered from bulimia for about 20 years, between the ages of 17 and 35ish. I have not done any purging for about 5 years now (I'm 42) but I do still have issues with binge eating on occasion.

Because of the bingeing, perimenopause, disinclination to exercise, living alone (so nobody to 'act normally' in front of) and tendency to avoid social situations, I am now about 5 stone overweight.

I know what MN is like about weight, and I know it's not good to be that fat, so any comments about how unhealthy I am are unnecessary - I know that very well and I tend to avoid doctors because I don't want the lectures. What I could really use is some advice on how to do sustainable and realistic weight loss without triggering a return of the disordered behaviour of starving, then bingeing and purging. "Eat less, move more" may be a truism but it's not especially helpful in my specific circumstances.

Are there any plans that can work for people with my sort of history, or any specialist help that focuses on healthy weight loss that doesn't encourage obsessive focus on the numbers on the scales?

@ICriedAllTheWayToTheChipShop
This is an interesting read too.
www.eatlikeanormalperson.com/

Sorry just to be clear - on no S it is not a single plate of food per day! It is a single plate or bowl per meal, and you have 3 meals per day.
I break this a bit because e.g. for lunch I had soup with bread, plus a side-salad and an orange, and obviously these don't all want to be on the same plate together, but I just set out the food and check that it would fit on a plate if I put them together, and then (the important part I think) don't get up to add anything if I'm still a bit peckish afterwards and fancy something else too. At first I was unsatisfied, but I'm getting used to the feeling of eating time being over until the next meal, which I think is a key thing.

Abbey Sharp has an interesting YouTube channel about intuitive eating, she has a history of ED's and is a qualified dietitian.

She scientifically dismisses some of the diet culture myths. It has helped me a bit to 'un demonise food' but my issue is ADHD causing disordered eating.

Thank you, I will check her out.

I can't reply to everyone, but I'm grateful for all the advice and suggestion. I may look out for a private dietician and have an initial consultation, just to see what they might be able to do for me. I could go through my GP but frankly I don't like going there if I don't have to, they haven't been terribly helpful in the past when it comes to understanding EDs properly, and I have a feeling I may just be sent away with a diet sheet!

GPs are terrible with EDs in my experience.

I think getting professional steer is key here, it's worth every penny if you think about the potential impact of waking up the all-consuming and destructive ED again. 👍

I’ve been seeing a dietician.

one of the things I’ve found really helpful is taking it really slowly because that’s helped me work out when I’m more tempted to binge etc. could you do some food diaries and see if there are any links and then change one or two things a month.

eg I found I was more likely to binge getting home from work hungry as I’d be tired and cooking would feel endlessly frustrating so now I have a small snack (yoghurt, fruit, protein bar) at work and that increases my chances of cooking but I have a few easy to cook meals that I can then use if tired so whilst that’s add calories it’s reduced my tendency to overeat so it works. I have one ‘treat’ food allowed an evening and again i mainly stick to it. then making meals healthier etc has resulted in slow weight loss but weight loss driven by health not starvation.

I was in a cycle of starving myself for months, losing weight then binging from the age of 14 to 40! I just couldn't eat normally. I didn't know how to. I wasn't in tune with my appetite or my body. Food was always something to feel guilty about. Then I started intermittent fasting (16:8 I had no success on 5:2). It changed my life! It completely changed my appetite in that I now eat when I'm hungry and am simply unable to consistently overeat. I've been doing it for many years and will never stop because I feel so good on it. It has many other health benefits apart from weight loss. I effortlessly maintain my weight and look and feel very healthy!

I have an ED history, and the thing that worked best for me was moving to what my dietician called ‘intuitive eating’. Eat what you want, when you want, and stop when you are satisfied. At the beginning, I had to really train myself to listen to my body to work out, “Am I hungry for this?” If I was, I’d eat it and then would consciously pay attention to notice when I felt full. If I wasn’t, then that was okay, because I would always be able to eat it later when I actually WAS hungry for it. It helped to break the power of forbidden foods.

I should add that with intuitive eating, I am actually slimmer than I was at the height of my binge-purge cycles. It really does work as a strategy for maintaining a healthy weight without the effort and misery of dieting.

Sorry if this is way off but could you try weight training? I've never had a diagnosed ED but had done the diet-binge cycle for about a decade, periodically taking up and giving up running. Then I started weight training (using an app and dumbbells) and replacing my evening snacking with chamomile tea and lost the weight.

It was from a totally different mindset than all of my other dieting efforts - completely positive, no self hatred, all about adding strength and seeing biceps appear rather than hating and obsessing over my body. I also didn't weigh myself.

When I actually noticed the change in my body it was genuinely 'omg where has that gone?' - I think after about three months. So much better than lying awake and fantasising about being thin.

Now almost two years later it's part of my routine, for my mental health, and I'm really grateful I found it. It's led to other things like yoga too.

Do this!

If you are interested try learning about how and why your body works and reacts to food.
Take a look at Jason Fung, intermittent fasting on youtube or the zoe.com website.
You dont need a plan, to sign up, a magic cure, and understanding what your body needs and why can help you lose weight.

Oh, and by the way 'eat less, move more' has been disproven.

There's a good self help book called overcoming binge eating by Christopher Fairburn which may be with trying.

You have to be very strong to not fall into ED rules with intermittent fasting so maybe not something to try at this stage. Also, the goal of losing weight is not compatible with ED recovery so if you don't consider yourself recovered yet, i would suggest starting with the book.

Too much of a dietary rule - ED trigger

*worth trying

There is so much ignorance by well intended posters who are telling you what diet they followed. I appreciate it worked for them but that's not something you say or suggest to someone with an ED. I don't think they intend to but their comments are so harming and triggering. I don't think Bulimia and binging or disordered eating are taken seriously. It's like saying to an anorexic just eat little and often. Just make sure you batch cook and have your fridge well stocked.

I don't want to appear ungrateful to people who have taken the time to reply and offer me advice, but you have a good point. Anything involving "rules", whether those relate to what you eat, when or how much, is horribly triggering for me. I know all too well where rules lead for me - breaking them, and then feeling like a failure and needing to get rid of it.

I'm going to take the advice to speak to a dietician and take it from there.

I couldn't agree more with this. Any kind of rule, no matter how small has a huge impact. Finally at the age of 44 I now understand that rules DO NOT work for me. I am at last learning to accept myself and that beings so much freedom and peace that I am gradually losing my obsession with food, diets and weight which is such a god thing.

*brings

Check out Sarah Dosanj, the binge eating therapist, on YouTube xx

Have a look at the NHS Digital Weight Management Programme. You choose the programme that you think would suit you best. Something like MyLifePlan would give you lots of psychological support and access to a dietician for advice.

I'm this person too. History of bulimia and I still binge very occasionally now, although I don't purge.

I'm just grazing overweight now (I'm almost 40) but feel I have finally managed to have a more healthy relationship with food. It's not perfect, and I'm ok with that. I think being at peace with myself and my food intake, despite the odd binge, has been critical.

This started early last year. I had an operation and felt so unfit and unhealthy during my recovery. DH loves weight training so encouraged me to get a PT at the gym to build on my fitness. So I went and quite enjoyed it. Started doing more. Then realised I was hungry aalllllll the time due to the exercise. Thought 'screw this, I'm not falling down that hole again' and started looking at how to eat to nourish my body better.

Now I eat fairly intuitively. More protein for my training and that helps with hunger. More whole foods and less process stuff because I feel better in myself. And because I am feeling better in myself and about my body, I don't beat myself up about the odd binge - I can also stop much earlier than before. This is huge for me!

So, I suppose what I am saying is that mindset is a big part of this. And the better you eat, and the more you understand how your own body works, the better you'll feel and the less you'll want to go back.

Good luck