Sorry abit long but js to explain for context i have added details.
My DD has a bestfriend in high school and have been friends for almost 4 years. I have met DD friends mum, before allowing her to go over for play dates etc, and am always happy to have DD friend come to mine. DD friends mum and I aren’t best friends as such, we see each other briefly when dropping/collecting kids to school
or each others house, and used to have each other round for dinner occasionally, but as time has gone on, we see each other less due to work/family life however the girls still come round here and go to theirs. Overall the mum seems lovely.
Everythings was fine until last year i sadly lost my dad. He was elderly and we had him stay with us at home when he was end of life. We were very close and i was naturally devastated when he passed. It was DD birthday in the same week, and for obvious reasons, i wasn’t up for doing a birthday party. DD and i agreed she could do something small with her friends a week or so after the funeral. DD was fine with this and had no objections at all. A few weeks later after the funeral, i asked DD what she would like to do for her birthday and she said its fine mum, friends mum is going to do a small party at home for me. I was taken aback and DD explained friends mum said she felt bad i can’t do a bday party for her so she will do one instead. Of course anyone would think wow that’s lovely, but i didnt ask her to do this, worst off she did not ask me if i was ok with this? I asked DD when this supposed party is and she said its on the weekend and shes made all the arrangements for food / cake etc. gobsmacked, I called friends mum and she explained she didnt want to make me feel bad for not doing a party or have the pressure of doing one whilst im
still grieving so she thought she would instead. She said she was
going to call me the next day to see what i thought, even though DD said she had arranged everything and ordered a cake !?
I asked for her to forget about it and cancel, but she came clean about ordering a cake and all expenses are non refundable and she wont be asking me
for any money. I explained money aside, i should’ve been asked first. she apologised and pleaded she do the party as the girls would be upset now. I allowed it for DD sake and went along to ths bday. My husband said i should just appreciate it and that she was doing a nice thing. It was literally 5 friends from DD school and me and the mum.
She expressed how sorry she was and she didnt mean it in a bad way. The evening was fine and DD was happy. I was grateful but still a bit off about the whole thing?
The last straw was my daughter had a hard time sleeping at night. Mainly since my dad passed. She stayed awake thinking about him and it upsets her etc however the past few months she has been improving and her sleep schedule is more or less back to normal.
Whilst gettin DD uniform sorted, I found some pills im her pocket. When i confronted her she said friends mum gave them to her. They’re sleeping pills to help her sleep.
I was so shocked and livid. I have tried to contact friends mum she didn’t answer my calls for 2 days. DD explained she only took them cause friends mum told her they were amazing for sleep, but she didn’t take them as she sleeps fine now. I drove to her house the next day an she answered the door. she admitted she was
avoiding my calls due to my reaction but understood why i would be angry. But theyr just harmless pills to help her sleep.
She seems to be living in lala land. Who on gods green earth gives a child pills, without knowing their medical history and seeking consent or acknowledgment from their parents?
I told the mum how upset and shocked i am and I wont be sending DD over again. She said im
overreacting and harming the girls instead.
DD is upset as im getting between her friendship with her best friend. But the birthday thing i can get past but the pills? Iv told my DD plentiful times about taking things from strangers. but its her bestfriends mum therefore not a stranger so she took the pills home.
I feel terrible re her friendship, but please tell me i’m doing the right thing?