Stepdad

[Jusaman]

Hi all, I went to vist my kids last week and my stepdaughter asked me to formally adopt her, she wants the paper to say I'm her dad, was so amazing she asked.... me and her mum haven't been together for a long time... is it still possible to do this?

What is your definition of not a long time?

By ‘my kids’ do you mean the partner’s kids? And if visiting I’m assuming you don’t live with them? Is this correct?

Yes more details please!
Where is the biological dad?

This?? I’m confused. Does she have a living dad?

There are so many questions.

Where's bio dad?
Are you married?
How old is she?
How long have you been together?

How old is she?
Is the bio dad on her birth certificate?
What a massive compliment to you! Well done.

2 kids one is mine, me and there mum split a while ago bit I've always treated the other child as my own .. and go and visit as much as I can... the bio father hasn't been in her life for 12 years and has called me dad for as long as I can remember.
Bio is on birth certificate last contact was supervised contact and didn't go well so contacted ended... were unsure where bio dad is now.

As long as you can remember, being what? five years, 10 years, three months ?

Been over 10 years

I think you may need consent of both mum and bio dad.

can you get some advice from social services?

The biological father would have to consent.

If she’s called you Dad for over 10 years and bio Dad hasn’t been around for 12 how old is the child?

I think if she wants you to her adopt her this will be a big advantage. You will have to track down the bio dad and he will have to consent. Good luck!

She is 14 but also has asd, dosnt offen share feeling so this is a massive deal.

Thank you so much

If you are no longer in a relationship with her mother I don't see a judge signing off on this

You'll need consent from Mum and Dad
Legally adopting her will mean there's no difference between her and your bio child.
Her Mum will also be entitled to claim child maintenance from you, she can claim via cms too.

How would her Mum take this?
Her father would need to approve, would he?

No advice but I just wanted to say congratulations for being in this position - it must feel wonderful.

Am assuming her mum is aware and also understands the significance of it in terms of her child’s trust in you, and hope you’re both able to share a sense of pride in giving both children a sense of ongoing security in their family set up.

Whether legally practical or not, I’m sure you’ll do all you can to communicate how much this means to you and that you can depended on regardless of the paperwork. Thanks for posting something heartwarming.

Depending on where you are you may not be able to adopt her as a step child. To adopt your step child in England you have to have lived with them for at least 6 months. You haven’t lived with her for a long time by the sounds of it.

So you’d be looking at a different kind of adoption if it’s possible. Generally adopting takes a fair while so at 14 you’d have to check if you would have time before she turns 16 (I’m assuming that would be the cut off - it might be 18?)

You and her mother, if she’s in agreement, also need to consider the fact that getting in touch with the biological father could spark problems if he says no, or starts trying to make contact.

Its definitely not something to do without a lot of discussion between you and her mother, and between the three of you.

“me and her mum haven't been together for a long time...”

That reads like you are in a relationship with the girl’s mother, but only for a short period.
What you mean, is that you are not in a relationship with her - you split up a long time ago.

You are not her stepdad.

Take the comment as a lovely thing, and tell her that you’ll always consider her your daughter - but leave it at that.

You don’t even mention what her mother thinks - which is odd.

Thank you to all that commented, me and her mum were together for quite a few years, I've been her "dad" for over 10 years and I think she wanted it to be official like I am to her sibling, her mum and I get on really well and have spoken about it after she had asked but her mother said she would like nothing more then her daughter to have that but due to us not being together anymore it probably can't happen, I was hoping there was some way I could of , I don't care about the money, I'm her dad in my eyes and wanted it to be official as she had asked, by looks of it though by what I'm reading and getting back of you lovely people it's a no ;(

For the sake of the child you should at least properly look into it, not just ask on a forum and take it as gospel.

At least that way she’ll know you seriously considered it and cared enough to look into it.

It won’t be what she wants, but it’ll be better than her ending up thinking you weren’t fussed.

Her Dad will also have to give up his parental responsibility, so will need to agree to this.
I'm not actually sure if you could adopt her if you're not in a relationship with her mother.
Best thing to do is speak to either social services or a solicitor who can give you the answers

@Jusaman
The courts will take the daughters wishes into consideration. You do need to get the bio dad’s permission though. If you both are really committed, it’s not impossible.